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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Ageless Fear

Fear is an ageless emotion., given by God to draw us to Him not away from Him.  But ever since the fall we hide fears tucked sometimes so deep within our hearts that we can't put a tag on what it is we really fear.

Just the other day God shed some light on a fear that is keeping me from enjoying this new adventure God has designed for us.  Being a missionary for many years, living in a couple third world countries, in remote location you would think I had done enough and conquered enough fears that I would not be bothered much with it at my age.  Fear comes wrapped in many packages and I am learning age does make the package look different.  When I was in my early 40's I don't remember fearing the reality of immortality....about 20 years later fear came wrapped in the "age reality" package.  Heaven was sounding closer as my body groaned whenever I tried to do what I could do without effort at 40.  Fear grew as friends my age begin to lose their mates but they had a home, were financially set up and the reality of us not having those things,  no home, no money came slowing stealing my peace and joy.  For about a year I struggled with this fear and every good thing God sent my way came out joyless as I battled this insecurity.  Like all fear it left as I continue to look fear in the face, call in out for what it was...unbelief that God would take care of His children, no matter what age..

Life is never dull with the Lord and one does not have to go live in a foreign country to do battle with  fear and insecurity.   We will be moving from the Bible belt of  Kentucky to Southern California which might quality as a foreign country to a southern gal.  (only joking) Excitement fills my heart until as I think about living close to our son and grandchildren but then the catch comes.  You see our son is not walking with the Lord and he is struggling in every area, his marriage, his finances..my fear is our parent heart will get in the way of God's heart for our son.   


This fear comes often to steal my joy even though it is clear to me God is the one who opened the door for us to minister close to our son and grand children.  As I write this I realize just naming my fears make them smaller. Godly perspective settles in and I know it is the battles calling me to suit up in the armor of God daily until He calls us out of the reality of this world into His presence.  There we  will no longer need a suit of armor for we will be like Him...the reality of our faith will be face to face with the King of Kings.  Amen, Amen.