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Monday, November 19, 2012

Wishful Thinking

Last  week I got to visit my mother who is in a nursing home for a whole week.   Everyday I  ate with her and others ladies who live there.  Every day I  sang with mother as a different church does a sing along.  Three times a week there is bingo, a favorite of Mom's, I did not win a thing.  All in all the nursing home staff does a great job and deserve to be thanked more often.  It's a low paying job with a lot of hard work dealing with the difficulty that comes with aging. 

One day we were singing the song, "How Beautiful Heaven Must Be", when God highlighting part of a verse to my heart, in heaven there be "no wishing for else where to be".  What perfect song for those dear folks who long to be back in their homes, cooking their own meals, driving, raking their yards, washing their own clothes, taking a bath when they want too. If my mother said it once she said it 20 times or more each time I was with her.  Oh I wish I could go back and live in my little apartment and cook you a dinner.    I wish with all my heart she could too but her  medical needs require round the clock nursing. 

Mom sits at table with four other women and one day they were complaining about the dressing that went with the turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, pie they had for  lunch.  I said, Mom just be thankful for the things you did like, she said well Jo, nobody else  liked it either.  A little frustrated I said, well Mom, you don't have to be like everyone else.  Easy for me to say, I can come and go as I please, go out to eat every day if I want to.  The Holy Spirit said, soften your tone Betty.  Gently I said, Mom what did you like about your meal, which  I should have said in the first place. She was able to tell me she liked it all EXCEPT  the dressing.   I begin to go around to each lady and asking them, what did you like about your meal?   One even like everything on her plate. 

There is always something to be thankful for.  But you know life here on earth can be so hard it  blinds us  sometimes to what we can be thankful for.  Wishful thinking can lead to a downward spiral where depression lives.  I seen it in the eyes of those women sitting at the table, I have seen it in myself. 
Wishful thinking does not change anything, thankfulness for what we have changes us.  We see out of new eyes, hear out of new ears, feel out of a new heart.   

I flew back a couple days, sadness flew right along with me.  Sad cause I was wishing I was rich enough to provide a home and full time nurses for my Mom.  Wishful thinking  invaded me as I deal with the grief I feel everytime I leave my mother.   It will stay with me till I make the choice to be thankful I got to see her every day for a week.  Giving thanks for a brother and sister in law that visited her every day too helps.   Gratefulness there is nursing care for my Mom will drive out the wishful thinking.  Above all I am grateful my mother will live someday in heaven where there is no "wishful thinking."  Faith and hope will become sight. 

                                  Ever found yourself down in the wishful thinking pit?  
                          Give thanks for even one thing and you will slowly climb out.