For months my heart has been full of things God is doing in me, and through me, and around me. During this time I have wondered where was He going with all of it, what did He want me to do with it? He usually always gives me a chance to use the sweet words He speaks to my heart.
Trusting Him through the years has taught me to allow Him to build my faith through the waiting for His timing to be used.
You see, I have a deep Godly desire to help women become wise hearted women, courageous wise hearted women to be exact. It's not that I think I am so wise mind you, but what little I know, I want to share it, to be used to encouraged, to help someone grow just a little more mature in their walk with God.
All that said, all that pondering on my hearts desire and then, just like that, He opened two opportunities to speak to women.
The first was the hardest, because it was before a group of peers, the other Member Care women in our mission, who do what I do, attend the same conference, usually read the same book. My thinking was, what in the world can I say that resonate in their hearts that they have not already heard.
How could I encourage other encouragers who like me wanted to be healthy growing women of God. God reminded me of my prayer for Him to take me deep.
For almost a year, God has been driving me to go deep in His love, to the deepest part of His heart because it is nothing like my heart, my flesh heart. His ways are not like mine, there is mystery to His heart.
How do I tap into that mystery? Then I remembered it's the Holy Spirits job to reveal the mysteries of God.
For to us God revealed them through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God.
Trusting God's grace means trusting God's love for us rather than our love for God. Therefore our prayers should consist mainly of rousing our awareness of God's love for us rather than trying to rouse God's awareness of our love for him, like the priests of Baal on Mount Carmel (1 Kings 18:26-29).”
― Peter Kreeft,
I love the above quote and it went right along with what my two opportunities to speak were about.
II Corinthians 5: 14-15 For the love of Christ controls (motivate, compels us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died, and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.
The second time of sharing came in a room full of women of few I knew. God allowed me to share a journey of finding the power of God's love for me. Not my love for Him, it can never match up to His love for me. When I dwell on HIs love a divine filling of the spirit happens in my heart. His love for me has nothing to do with what or when or how I do, in fact I cannot ever do enough to match His love for me. His love does motivate me to be used of Him at any cost. It motivates me to surrender myself, my emotions, my will, my self life. It tears down any idea of a life of me being in control.
I am His and He is mine. Hallelujah.