The line in this quote spoke heavily to my heart. "There is nothing stronger than someone who continues to stay soft in a world that hasn't always been kind to them".

Often, I have allowed an unkindness done to me to harden my heart against others. I can become cynical and judgmental toward those who have hurt me. Let me repeat those few words that struct a cord in me.

There is nothing stronger, (wow, oh wow, kindness makes us stronger!) That alone should make one desire kindness. It's not really a natural feeling or act. It does take a look at our Savior to really understand what true kindness is. He gave out kindness toward those who beat Him, hung Him on a cross to die. Kindness was Him saying at the end, Father forgive them, they know not what they do.

Oh, that the kindness of Christ would flow as easy out of me as it did Him when I am treated with unkindness. We really cannot see the harm unkindness does to a person till we ourselves have it entreated to us.

Read the quote again, what stands out to you the most.

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Freedom

Facebook always ask what I am thinking today so I answered with this battle cry. Freedom is on my mind today. Only one thing shows the strength and power of freedom then this iconic scene in Braveheart.

In the Year of our Lord 1314, patriots of Scotland, starving and outnumbered, charged the fields of Bannockburn. They fought like warrior poets; they fought like Scotsmen, and won their freedom."

In the year of our Lord 2024 we need to show the strength and power of free people and vote. God help me to have a brave heart as we do battle at so many levels. From the highest choices to vote we to how I live my life on a daily basis.

Their cry was freedom in Braveheart, Jesus cry of freedom on the cross was, IT IS FINISHED. JESUS IS MY BRAVEHEART.

Harmful Comfort Zone

 

Recently I have been listening to a podcast by Jason Seib. His words have stirred my soul and given me a challenge to take up. 

You see, it's my desire to grow into a deeper relationship with God.  As I listen to the podcast, I realize growth has always come when I am out of my comfort zone. When I take up a challenge to change my mind.  

What do you think about the statement Jason makes, that we are addicted to comfort!!!  I ask myself the question, what do I turn to when I am stressed?  I did not like my answers I can assure you.  

We all have our addictions, chocolate, soda, cigarettes, shopping, pills, strong drink, mindless hours watching TV, etc.   I usually turn to food now that I don't smoke when I am stressed. I love to chew gum but it's so bad for my teeth and causes sore in my mouth, but it makes me feel comforted. Crazy. I trade comfort over health.  

I smoked when I got saved and it bothered me, but I was addicted to the idea smoking relaxed me.  Forget lung cancer, the smell, the cost, it relaxed me.  I did quit right before a Christmas that would be a family gathering in which most smoked. I can remember thinking I will never get through those few days without failing not to smoke.  I did, thanks to a change of mindset.  The thought that I was putting something so harmful in my body which also housed the Holy Spirit was the change of mind attitude that brought victory over smoking. 

The deeper I go into the mind of Christ the more I want to shed comfortable habits that are harmful.  Now at 77, semi-retired, my mindset sometimes says I deserve to be comfortable.  With no children at home, I can sleep as late as I want, eat whatever I want, go whenever I want...get my drift.  Comfortable is all about me, me, me.  I believe sugar is addictive but cookies throughout my days with a cup of tea surfing on my phone is sure a comfortable feeling.  

There is nobody that ever walked this earth who shed being comfortable for the sake of others like Jesus.  He left heaven, not a shabby place, no sin, no death, etc.  His life on earth lived for us was not an easy life.  This was His mindset, Father if it be your will.     

                                                                                                                                                                  

NOW

 

Today I was reading some of my old post and thought if I could go back, I would use the phrase, " where we live "NOW" emphasis on "NOW". It fits much better than just writing or saying, "where we live".

I do believe there are some who have not kept up with us who still think we are serving in Bolivia, South America, or in Papua New Guinea. 

"NOW", we reside in northern Minnesota, next door to our daughter and family.  It's the place I would never want to live because of the winters, but circumstances change all the time.  And we are grateful for the little place they fixed up for us, it's cozy and warm in these long cold winters.  We are also grateful for the great relationship we have with our daughter and her husband.  

• “Don’t get caught up in thinking about the past or the future—live in the now!”
• “Be present in your own life.”
• “All you have is this moment. Don’t let it slip away.”
• “Life becomes more meaningful when you realize the simple fact that you’ll never get the same moment twice.”
• “Life is available only in the present moment. If you abandon the present moment you cannot live the moments of your daily life deeply.”

 

I like all those quotes above, but I find more power to live in the present from a Bible verse that I am sure most of you know.  I have been quoting it a lot lately because I found myself stuck in thinking about the past.  This verse is an action verse, because thinking is mental action, and I choose what I think on every day.  It requires me to on purpose change my thinking on my now.  

Philippians 4:8-9 ESV 

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Are you living in your past, future or present?  

Therapy

 

Signs of one's childhood trauma can continue to manifest well into adulthood.

Kids create an internal map of how the world is based on the trauma they experience.

But if the map never changes, it affects adult functioning.

When children try to change themselves to be loved by a parent, they lose touch with who they really are.

For me, the desire to be rid of the emotions that came from growing up in an abusive home was always there. So, I took things into my own hands, marrying at 17 and that got me out of the abuse in the home.

I had buried deep what went on in our home, never talked about it even with my best friend, even the man I married at first. Later as I begin to open up, I came to realize because he came from a dysfunctional home he could not help me. So, for years I just kept quiet about my thoughts and struggles, until our marriage was struggling. This caused me to be a seeker of help through books and at 30 I bought a bible and started reading it. Without the Holy Spirit living in me I did not understand much. One thing though that was clear, I was a sinner in need of a Savior.

It took four, almost five years and the birth of our daughter, and some faithful people from a church inviting us to church before I heard the gospel plain enough to respond to it.

Being a new creature in Christ is mind blowing. Most of what I could not understand became clear, the sky was bluer, the sun was brighter, and I wanted to follow this Jesus I had put my trust in. And He wanted me to grow and that would mean hardship at times, memories that hard to recall, but Jesus was long suffering and grew me slowly into understanding fully what His forgiveness of my sins meant in a practical sense. Here is the kicker, those hurtful memories will never go away. Someone ask me one time after I gave my testimony. How long did it take to really forgive your dad? I replied, every time I thought about Him. In all my childhood I had one good memory of him.

Forgiveness is something you have to continue to do every time the hurt comes to mind, especially if it stick around to wreak your present-day life. Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future. Lewis B. Smedes

What I am learning as a 77-year-old child of God is, PTSD was already grounds for other hurts to affect me. Several health issue that renders me helpless brought a different look at the anxiety that riddles my body at times. I had anxiety attack as a child which left me helpless and in pain. It came from the fear that gripped my heart when I had to come in from playing or from visiting a friend. I tried to stay away from my dad as long as I could.

I write about this because it helps me, in hopes anyone else who has struggles with forgiveness or dealing with hurtful memories will have some comfort that they are not alone. I am getting some therapy to help me deal with the deepness of past hurts. So thankful to the Lord that my therapist is a Christian.

The journey is never over till it is over, till death due us part. Just as I am thankful for my heart and kidney doctors, I am just as thankful for therapists, counselors, couches and all those who want to help those who are struggling. Most of all I am thankful for a God who designed our body, our mind and those He raises up to treat us on our journey. It's a good journey, one that has hope built into it when we know the Lord. I am feeling very hopeful at this stage of the journey.   

Bold as a Lion 

Today I heard one of the best messages on Roman 3:21-26. Our pastor started in Proverbs 28:1 The wicked flee when no one is pursuing, but the righteous are bold as a Lion.

The righteous are us who are believers. Yet often I have not felt bold, and I am 100 percent extrovert too. I realized after I had been saved that I could not depend on my extrovert personality when it came to speaking up for Jesus. Before my salvation the devil was not my enemy, at least I did not know any different. The enemy of my soul, first of all used fear of making a mistake to keep me from witnessing. I begin to pray for discernment and wisdom so I would know when to witness. This is the Holy Spirit role in our new life with Christ.

I am still amazed how easy it is to talk to a stranger or someone you know about anything and everything ,but as soon as the name of Jesus comes out my mouth, the enemy is right there, but so is the Spirit of God. In fact I think the Spirit speaks first and prompts us to speak about Jesus and then fear of offending, or not getting it right hits. Thats the devil, he and he alone speaks fear into our soul. The Holy Spirit never ever speaks fear to a heart bought by the blood of Jesus. He will speak caution, discernment, wisdom and truth, bring scriptures to remembrance.

So how do we get to be bold for Jesus? The very same way we got saved, trusting in Jesus for salvation and the boldness to witness with the same trust. The church I got saved had a Thursday night soul winning night. Two people would go out and visit home, one did the speaking and the other prayed. I had great teachers and I ask them; do you ever get over being nervous? Not really, they said, but the more you do it the fear will leave. Fear is not of the Lord, nervous is just a human emotion that can be used to better equip ourselves for what-ever task He has called us to do.

You might say, like I did for a while, I don't feel the boldness of a Lion. Forget your feelings, turn your heart toward Jesus the one who died for you, not the liar who brings fear and worry. Jesus did it all, life is in Christ. Cast your feelings of fear and thinking you do not know enough to talk to anyone about Jesus. aside and step out for Him.

A couple of lines from this morning sermon which moved my heart.

Make Jesus BIG.

Make me small.

Jesus is our boldness-whatever we lack, He is.

Two days ago, I received my new spiral bible with tons of blank spaces for notes. In fact, the advertisement is: if you are note taker this bible is for you.  So, I started in the book of Revelation which I have wanted to study through myself and maybe even teach it. In fact, one of the ladies ask me to teach it but I declined since I do have a little fear of that book. Not what is written in it but a fear I will get a part of it wrong due to a lack of understanding. My heart would be to teach it so that anyone can understand it, me first. I have read through it years ago and never did it again. But, I have listened to lots of teaching on it. It is not a light read and takes comparing scriptures to scriptures to get the full scope of it.

So, as I was studying, I came across this in Rev. 22:18_19I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this scroll: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to that person the plagues described in this scroll. And if anyone takes words away from this scroll of prophecy, God will take away from that person any share in the tree of life and in the Holy City, which are described in this scroll. (Rev. 22:18-19).

Thank God I am covered in the blood of Jesus and cannot lose my salvation. I will see that tree of life in the Holy City.

Thankfully, there was this promise of being blessed for even trying to read it.

Blessed is the one who reads aloud the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near. Rev. 1:3

Even though Revelation takes more studying than any other book of the Bible, I think, I am thankful that God loved us enough to let us know what is coming, to for warn us so we would not faint when the prophecy unfolds before us.

The biggest reason I want to study it again and maybe teach it is so I can have a firm grasp on future events. Never before has so many wanted to know the future, it's a scary world out there. I am open to any advice from you who follow me. Blessings.

I LOVE MY NEW SPIRAL STUDY BIBLE...IT WAS WORTH THE COST OF IT.

Past and Present

 I try to write my post on Saturday or Sunday and post Monday, and I usually write what is going on in the present and how it affects me. But once in a while I like to reach back and write from the past. The past definitely affects my present. its part of who I am as a child of God.

Growing up I just figured I would marry and live in my hometown or close by for the rest of my life. I didn't think past the present of getting out of the abusive home I grew up in. At 17 I quit school and got a full-time job washing dishes in a restaurant, real glamor. Several months later I married the guy I fell in love with. He worked in the oil field on a rig but that begin to close down. An uncle of mine got him a job in a warehouse near St. Louis, and the travel started, our world got bigger. We didn't bring much maturity into our marriage except we both knew how to work. But that is another story.

Little did I know from that point on living in my hometown for the rest of my life was not going to happen. Up until I got saved, we had lived in 3 different states already, all following his job. Fast forward to hearing a missionary speak in our home church in Kentucky where our world became bigger. God was going to show us just how big His world is and how exciting following Him can be. All the past came with us as we served 7 years in Bolivia, South America as dorm parents at a missionary boarding school. Then came a few years we stepped out of the mission to help our home church. Mission by then was in our blood so we returned to it and was asked to go a different country, Papua New Guinea. Everything we had learned so far was going to be used even more so. Remember, He waste nothing. What we were at that stage of life was defined by both, past and present still.

We were learning the truth that our past does not have to destroy us; it can be a catalyst to not make the same mistakes and be open to learning God's way of looking at the past and present and the future. The past always lives with us in the recess of our memory. I can unpack my past if it helps someone in the present. The wounds from the past are now scars and no longer hurt to touch on if needed. But the scars are part of who I am, a woman of God with scars. Salvation did not wipe out my past and through the years I have notice again, God waste nothing. It's joy to sit with a woman and have her thank me for sharing my wisdom gained from a past mistake and how God delights in using despite those mistakes. He is the only one without mistakes which is the strongest truth I can share with anyone.

Sometimes something will happen that throws me back into a bad memory and without even trying I react from it. When it does, I remind myself of everything I just wrote about. Those wounds do not own me, they have been paid for by the blood of Jesus shed on the cross. And that is where I lay them, at the foot of the cross.

How are you doing with your past and present?  

God has always given me a group of wise hearted women to hang around with. This group of women all know how to work as a team getting thing done for the glory of God. Cleaning together and seeing the end result of team work is perfect for developing relationships.

There is a small camp outside of Blackduck, Minnesota that has served as a place to help kids grow in their walk with God. I have personally seen the results of this camp through our youngest grand daughters who attend it in the summer. And this summer she is old enough to be a camp counselor to the younger girls, plus work a week in the kitchen, and also be one of the campers in her age group. She has remained friends with the girls who were in her cabin last year. Relationship that developed around God can continue to encourage way past the camp week. God can begin to grow wise hearted young women in their teens through camps, church and input from older wise hearted women.

Some of the women from our church met out at this camp yesterday to get a cabin ready for campers. Within two hours it was done, and we all felt better for it. Working for a common goal helps us to be flexible and willing to be involved again. There were no problems yesterday as each woman took on a task. I ironed fresh washed curtains outside on the porch while a few took up brooms and knocked down cobwebs on the outside. Several worked inside cleaning windows and knocking down cobwebs, making beds, hanging curtains, sweeping and mopping floors. We left feeling a job well done and then went to lunch together.

Together is a great word and when you see a group of any age of women working on a project together without problems it a testimony of a shared common goal. They were not cleaning to gain glory for themselves or promote their way of doing things. These are wise hearted women, from the age of 15 to 77, willing to give of themselves for God work. I feel privileged to be a part of them.

Friends

 Friends

I could not wait to meet up with these two while on our trip.  Especially that blond pretty women who was my best friend and still is.  She is such a huge part of my past, the good part.  

Ace and I transferred from Las Vegas to Louisville with his job of ramp service man for TWA. We had left St. Louis where he hired in for Vegas.  So three place we lived in due to his job, each one holds memories.  It was not hard to move really because we did not have children then. Louisville was my favorite place we lived.   In each of those place I had friends, but not a best friend.  

We bought our first house after the birth of our first child that it took us 12 years to have.  That house sit in a neighborhood that buses from an aggressive Baptist church came into to pick children up for church. The little girl who lived next door rode that bus and she wanted our Tara to ride it too.  Four years after our daughter we had a son and God was knocking at our door through this church.  We thought it might be good for our kids to be in church, but we were not putting them on a church bus, not after all the years it took to get them.  

That women lived in that neighborhood too and we were both on a path that would meet at church.   Finally, we went to this church, my husband rededicated his life our first Sunday.  We went back the next week and I got saved.  We grew fast due to living for the world so long, we knew what didn't work.  With the Holy Spirit living in us both we stepped out in faith and became involved.  Ace begin to drive a bus and before long he was one of the ones who went into neighborhoods and invited people to come to church.  I took a children Sunday School class. 

The church had a small Christian school which our kids went too, and that sweet blond lady put her daughter in that school, and we became great friends.  We carpooled to school, hit the thrift stores together, great recipe for developing a friendship.   She had been a Christian longer than me, so I learned a lot from her.  She helped me navigate my walk with God and made it fun.  The man in the picture is her second husband, her first one died and was I was there to help her through that.  Later she met this strong Christian man whose wife had died, and my husband married them. God has kept us close even through the years we lived overseas.  When we meet up with them again, it's like we were never apart. They make us laugh, challenge our walk with God and have been supportive of our journey.  

I hope anyone who read this has a friend they could write about.  I don't think I thought friends could be that important to me until we left Louisville to move to Bolivia, South America.  I would cry because I missed my best friend so much, lay in bed at night and laugh over some of the best memories. 

Blessings