Aging Ministry

 

January 2017 was when it hit that aging had a tight grip on me.  For over a year I had been having chest pains, and was getting out of breath if I walked too fast.  Of course, I was a little overweight, so I assumed that was the cause of all the symptoms I was having.  But to be safe, I went to the doctor who put me through a stress test, and they thought it was my weight also, or possibly asthmas. 

 All the above was in 2016 and then 2017 rolled around and I was schedule to have a knee replacement in Jan.   My husband thought I better get checked out again since my breathing and chest pain were getting worse.  My doctor sent me for another stress test and x-ray. On the way home from the test my doctor called me and told me I needed to have a Heart Cath, that my breathing issues were classic heart blockage.  Open heart surgery took place a week later and aging took on a deeper meaning for me. I was now known as a older women with two bypasses.   Eleven months later I had that dreaded knee surgery.  In between I started to have UTI's which happens often to the elderly. Oh, the journey of aging. 

Thats all for the health issues for now, there would be more to come.  I have reached the ripe old age of 76 with two bouts of Covid under my belt, both put me in the hospital, first one almost destroyed my kidneys and the second almost took my life.   In the past three years the UTI have been like a nasty relative visiting without being invited. 

I love the little cartoon at the top for it speaks my heart. I really don't want to be a sweet old lady, but I do want to be busy ageless sweet woman of God who has mellowed and become gracious and wiser with age.   

 Here is the thing, 77 comes after 76, and after 77 comes 78, and 79, and then...oh my goodness, 80. For the life of me I cannot see me as an 80-year-old sweet or grouchy woman.  I am trying not to worry about even making it to 80.

Next week I have an appointment with a vascular surgeon, to talk about blockage in my renal arteries leading from the heart to kidneys.  Thats been my life since 2017, doctors, nurses, tests, medicine, therapy, and healthier food and lots of water.  

Before 70 I had a different life which centered around our ministry meeting up with other missionaries, traveling all over the place.  It feels like I have lost my place, but I work hard to not lean on my feelings and be content with the life I have now.  

My new ministry is how many times can I mention Jesus as the doctor's work on me and the nurses take care of me.  Each stay in the hospital brings ministry up real close.  I have my bible out most of the time. If I miss speaking His name, the first time the doctor or nurse or technician to take blood I will make sure the next time they come into my room they know this sweet old woman is a child of God.  

Actually, it's kind of fun to see how they will re-act.  Not one has kicked me out of the hospital for speaking the name of Jesus.  In fact, when they find out I have lived in two other countries they start asking what I was doing.  Now, they are on my territory. It's like God says, ok, it's time to let the Spirit take over.  It's time to  share the why you left a great country, family and friends to tell people living remotely all over the world that Jesus loves them and died for them so they could go to heaven when they die.  It's a simple story, easy to tell, age has nothing to do with the telling of it. The hospital has become my mission field, that doctors' office, that person trying to get my frail blood vessel to stop rolling so they can get an IV in me. That person who brings me meals, cleans my room while I lay thanking God for His love to me, is gonna remember, me.  

I believe with all my heart God does not want us to waste anything that comes into our life, even our suffering.    It's all a tool to plant a seed, water it and maybe see the harvest of that seed.  I trust the Lord to take me to heaven when He is ready, so I have no fear of dying.  

When I keep the pain to myself, and pretend everything is perfect, I waste opportunities to minister to others walking a similar path. 

                     How has God encouraged you lately?

Inside Out

I started out reading a few new blogs this morning, feeling a desire for something to trigger some of the great thoughts God has flowed through my heart this last month.  Needless to say, June went by with three hospital stays from a heart cath with complications, and Covid again.  I am home recovering but I know it's a slow long road to get back some of my strength.  I say some,  because, at 76 I will only get back what a 76 year old body can handle.  First new blog I read God used to help me express what my heart wants to shout.  Untipsteacher...love her words, her easy read, her heart for others.  Below is my blog post.  

UntipsyteacherSober Veg Mama
18h ago


Wise Hearted

just now




If I have to be old and fat, at least I can be old, fat, and strong! (Untipsyteachers words) , (and my reply to her words)

I needed to read your post this morning…especially the line above. I am still in a health crisis, recovering from Covid, got heart issues, kidneys, back issues, been laid up at home and hospital most of June, determined to get strong as I stumble into July. Heading to doctor today for a recap and the next orders for doing this. 

I have great family, friends who are more than willing to drop off a meal, pray, drop off another meal and my acceptance of that has grown. I do need those God puts in my stubborn way of not allowing others to help me.  I want to be the one dropping off a meal, sending a gift card, but I simple can’t. 

Great place to be is when I simple can't give out but, must chose to receive. God has my attention:

 Finally the physical toll pushes me into a compliant attitude, and I say, yes, send me a meal, pray, HELP ME.   Even though the physical part of my life seems to be wasting away my inner parts, my spiritual part is growing my leaps and bounds. He has been so sweet to me as I sit up at night, not sleeping due to a hacking cough and mind racing due to drugs to drive the virus out of my body. He makes sure my mind races to His goodness in our lives through memories pictures, songs, events, ways He has used us, people who He brought into our lives. It takes patience to sit still and be sick so one can heal. But it takes God’ s love running in our hearts to see inside what He is doing. Oh how He loves you and me. He is healing me from the inside out. 

Little side note: If this reads a little rattled it's because the steroids are making my mind race than I can type

Freedom Cost

It easier to put on a uniform, man a gun, train like crazy to protect those we love. But to do it for someone I have never met, or for those who are in prison for killing someone or a person who is foul mouth and disrespectful, there has to be a higher calling on that. One has to believe in the power of freedom or at least something worth dying for.

Happy Fourth of July

Lets take this a little bit deeper. Jesus put on the uniform of flesh, filled it with humanity, never sinned but lived and died for the whole world. Can't get any deeper love then that.

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9Dan Ruth Naldrett, Pam Wiggs and 7 others

Just wait

 

AA friend told me at 60, just wait till you hit your 70’s. Her comment has proved too true. At 70 I had open heart surgery, two bypasses, 19 days in hospital due to complications, 14 pounds lighter I went home to heal. A few months later, same year I had my knee replace. So far it was the most painful recovery.

Just wait, there is more.

After those two medical issues we moved to northern Minnesota where they winters are brutal, summer are short, almost no spring but beautiful in the fall. Any move is hard but moving in your 70’s takes more energy then I had most of the time. Covid’s hit and it did a number on me which required some surgery and for about three months I had a tube in my kidney for the urine to drain into a bag. Had a couple of stays in the hospital due to infections that kept cropping up in my badder. My right kidney does not work, the left one is working about 30 percent.

Just wait,

In the past year my health has declined due to my heart, kidneys and then I developed a sciatic nerve issue, a very painful one. I did therapy for about four three months, finally I am able to walk without a cane. After an MRI revealed my back was a mess I finally will see the surgeon in a few weeks. He will either give me an injection or surgery.

Just wait,

For several months I have been having a lot of heart angina, and a stress test revealed there is more, blockage on the left side of my heart. This will come first before the spine issue.

Just wait…I know it sounds like a lot and it is, but one thing I am conscious of is I am getting closer to heaven. Daily I am thankful for the era I was born in, great minds have come up with so much treatment for so many of what ails us. If I lived a 100 years ago I am sure I would have died early. I am one of the privileged ones who have gotten to live into my winter years where I am reaping from those great minds that figured out how to do transplant. I love living more than I ever did, I love waking up even if I am in pain and knowing I have another day to serve Him.

Just wait…“

 John 16:33 Jesus says, Take heart! I have overcome the world.”heaven is next and I am looking forward to no more pain, no more tears, no more trouble. My faith has been tested and tried over and over and the Lord has proved Himself and the Word over and over too.

 friend told me at 60, just wait till you hit your 70’s. Her comment has proved to

Identity

This quote made me smile this morning. It would look good on a tombstone, don't you think?

 

I do love to dance. I do have to put my hearing aid in so I can hear the music and I do stumble a lot with the dancing and get out of breath easily. I usually speak from the heart praying that what I said helped instead of discouraged. I do fail at that one more than I like to tell. I pray daily for a filling of His Spirit so I can love other with love that show Christ love. I fail at this one often too, too much Betty focus, not enough Christ focus. Hopefully anyone who will visit my grave when I go to heaven will only remember the good things about me.

Wise Hearted 

 Got any thoughts on what you would like your tombstone to say about you.  

 

Were You There?

 

There is no better time of the year than Easter to focus on how having the forgiveness of Almighty, Creator of mankind, and our universe can release us from our own sin. Leaning into His forgiveness for all who will accept it brings freedom and power for us to forgive others and ourself.

Jesus, the son of God being born into this sinful world is a precious truth, but His death on the cross, sinless meeting the sins of the world and feeling the weight of it as He hung on an old rugged cross for me brings the freedom to my heart and how I relate to others.

But, first we must see we are the sinner who brought Him to such a painful death, and resurrection.

I love that old song, Were You There When They crucified my Lord. Yes, I was, my sin was nailed to the cross, I was washed clean from the blood flowing from His body. What a truth to live life with and it will take me into eternity to live forever with God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Were you there as it took you as a sinner to the cross with Him? If you believe this whole story, you were there and like me will go to heaven when you die.

Happy Easter

The Blood

This popped up on my Facebook site this morning from 2016.  Nothing has changed since then, except I have grown in my understanding of God's love for me. It fills my mind every day, I wake up loved, go to bed loved, take up a new day loved.  Was compelled to post it again on FB and share it on my blog.  Safe Haven Bible Study is by a lady from hometown, Melissa Garrison.  Check her out, she writes with knowledge of this wonderful love/   

When you accepted Jesus as Savior, you entered into a covenant relationship with Him. And He did this amazing “swap”. We gave Him our past, our failures, our filthy garments and He gave us a robe of righteousness! It’s important that we don’t go back to our old lifestyle and pick up our filthy garments again. Why is that important? People who are comfortable with filthy garments will never experience or carry the presence of God. What a sad boring life without a close walk with Jesus

Safe Haven Bible Study

The importance of blood:

From the earliest days in the mother's womb until the day of death, a person's life is in the blood. Even a person-to-person gift of blood is treasured and called "the gift of life." Human blood is indeed a gift from the Lord Jesus Christ, clearly testifying to His great creative abilities and the body’s total unity of function. The Bible says that the Lord Jesus' blood is particularly special--in fact, "precious" (1 Peter 1:19)--because it is able to redeem us and cleanse us from all sin (1 John 1:9). Let us give glory "unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood" (Revelation 1:5).

Be assured that there is no sin you have ever committed that the blood of Jesus Christ cannot cleanse.

Billy Graham

A Brand New Touch

 

Facebook and the news are full of the revival going on at Asbury College in Ky.  If I lived closer, I would jump right into the flow of it.  Nothing better than allowing God to have full reign of your heart.  For the issues of life are in the heart but fear bitterness, anger, pride and all the other self -induced sins crowd out the Holy Spirit so often.  These negative feelings are so loud at times I cannot hear His small still voice.  

One of the things I am every learning in my years of walking God's road is how to hear His voice.  Dwelling on God's love for the whole world is one way, but when I draw a circle and only me and Him are in that circle, there is no room for anything else. It's a circle of love not because of me but because of Him.  I bring my heart and God brings His love and sometimes it overflows the circle.  True revival is never about us, but about Him, without me trying to control Him.  

Some are heading to Asbury to check out what is going on there. Jesus always drew a group around Him yet not everyone in the group was focus on Him.  He took a group of men from all walks of life and beliefs and drew a circle around Him and them individually and said, come walk with me.  He is still doing that today, at Asbury, in churches, in remote places all over the world, in people heart and in those sitting alone at home. It matters not the size of the crowd; it matters greatly that Jesus is the center of it.  

That love God has for us can move a hurting or prideful heart to repent, get things right between other, gives us motivations to keep going on with Him even though we are in a great trial.  It can cause us to say to Him, beg Him to fill us with His Spirit.  

Drawing a small circle and putting myself and God inside and focusing on His love for me, not my love for Him is a good start.  I can only bring my frail human love into the circle; He brings a supernatural pure love braced up with Him being our creator.  Prayer in that circle is so sweet and real.  When I try to bring my fleshly selfish issue into that circle I cannot pray, and nothing happens to my hurt.  When I become overwhelmed with His love for me, He changes my heart, and my issue are nothing.    Do I speak in tongues, I never have, cried tear of repentance by the buckets though.  When that circle holds only Him and I, all else fades away.  When revival happens in that circle, I want to tell others about His love, gratefulness flows from my heart as a result of me drowning in His love for me. 

Do I think what is happening at Asbury is real, yes and no.  There is always a Judas in the mix of seeking self in any crowd. Do I think all will understand it, no. There are always doubters in any crowd because everyone has their own opinion of what a revival is.  Pride will rear its ugly head while others get their hearts right with a Holy God.   One has to be humbled to receive from God a brand-new touch.  He wants revival, the devil does not want it.  God wants us to be revive so the lost will be drawn to us. I pray there is many lost at this revival, and they come to believing in the God of creation.  

The end of this world as we know it is fastly getting closer and closer to the end times and the only way the lost will be won is if we the saved will humble ourselves before the Lord in a circle that only holds two.  Then we will start reaching out to others, the lost for salvation, andthe saved who might need a brand-new touch. 

Love of my own....

 Everyone dreams about falling in love

Visions of rainbows and sunshine above 

But when my rainbows have faded and sunshine is gone

I was still searching for a love of my own. 

The words are from a song titled, "Love Of My Own."

With the love month starting today some are thinking about what to get for their love, whoever that might be. After being married 59 years when my husband ask me what I want and I usually tell him nothing. I am one of those hard to buy for women. I don't want flowers because they just die slowly. I don't want candy because I am over weight.  I have no needs to be met and through the years I have found those things you can hold in my hands do not make me feel loved. Give me a man who loves God and depends on Him to love me and I am a content women of God. 

 

 

Rest of song. 

Then one day a stranger came, and He called out my name.

And ever since His gentle touch, I have not been the same

He replaced all the dreams and chasing rainbows.

With His joy on my heart and a love or my own

And since I met Jesus, I know what love really is

And since I met Jesus there been no feeling like this

With His joy in my heart and a love of my own. 

I am in constant learning how to live this earthly life while walking with a love of my own.  This love that has captured me and won my heart makes it possible to love others better, to show grace when needed.  It's not a frail love that resides in my heart, it never quits, never disappoint me.  That love keeps me in love with my valentine, my husband and loving myself and others. 

This love is for everyone, and it cost us nothing.  It's better than chocolate for it never melts or spoils.  It never dies like flowers.  It can help an earthy love be at peace.  

Romans 8:38–39
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (NIV)

Trust...how sweet it is.

 

Thoughts on trusting. 

Every Christian knows this verse, yet it takes years of trusting until it become second nature or possible our first nature, which means Christ is ruling our heart.  

As believers we all talk a good trust talk but, it's one thing to intellectually know we are supposed to trust God in hard times...but what does that look like?

Don't know who wrote this but it resonated with me.  Trust is the cornerstone of every relationship, communication, and all work happening in the world. You cannot make things work out efficiently for a long time if you don't trust in people and the processes.  (Can I get an amen?)

I have realized lately that my trust has gotten sweeter, and I think it's because since 35 I have practiced trusting God on a daily basis. Many times, I trusted in tears, shaking with fear, slipping and sliding through the trials that breaks my heart.  Only to come back to the one who is worthy to trust.   

Trusting is an action word of the soul.  It's a verb not a noun that requires for us to put it into action before we feel that trust.  And that is why it has grown sweeter the longer I live.  There is such a calmness that comes over one when we are walking in trust.  Our world may be in turmoil, loss may be our burden, answers may evade our heart, but we can still put into action our trust because of who is the foundation of our trust.  

As much as humans can love there might come a time that love is not enough because trust has been broken.  It's hard to stay in a relationship when trust is broken.  We all want those we trust to stand strong even though we often don't.  

I have to put trust and expectations together because that is how trust gets broken.  Almost all my expectation for others and myself shatter in light of what the Bible teaches about we humans and our frailty.  I am glad God put verses in the Bible about taking heed to not judge others for their sins as if ours are not as bad.  Thankful He made room for I John 1:9.

So, how did trust become so sweet in light of being hurt deeply and disappointed through my 76 years.  I can boldly tell you it's because I have and still letting go of expectations for others and myself and putting fully my trust in God   I fully belong to someone who loves me unconditionally and with that knowledge I can forgive when I need to and as many times as I need to.   I can place all hurts and disappointment in His lap.  Every time someone fails me, or I fail myself or another I take that misplaced trust and put it on Jesus.  So my trust in Him has grown through the years and that is where the sweetness comes from.  He is able to take my trust in Him and give me peace in this world.  

The more I trust Him, the more I love Him
Nothing good for me He'll deny
The longer I know Him, the better I can show Him
I couldn't stop now if I tried

It gets sweeter as the days go by
It gets sweeter as the moments fly
His love is richer, deeper, fuller, sweeter
Sweeter, sweeter, sweeter as the days go by

Oh, the moment He saved my His good grace He gave me
He place His love down deep in my heart
There's great joy in knowing with Him I am going
And never more from Him to depart

It gets sweeter as the days go by
It gets sweeter as the moments fly
His love is richer, deeper, fuller, sweeter
Sweeter, sweeter, sweeter as the days go by