Sunday, October 27, 2019

He Loves Me

On the 20th of Oct. Ace and I were married 55 years. Of course many have ask, what is the secret for such a long marriage? Through the years we have given the classic answers which are all good. Commitment, communication, forgive a lot, forgive some more after a lot, listen well, affirm each other, love deeply, lots of intimacy, etc. Then there are other classic answers for staying married so long, the children, security, money, to much trouble to get divorce, don't want to disappoint family, believe its the unforgiveable sin, etc. 

So I have been wondering is there a secret to staying married? There has been some shockers through the years ,those I thought had a wonderful marriage only to hear they divorced.
Then, there are those, like us, married at 17, didn't have children till we'd been married 12 years, had years of a troubled marriage. Most would have bet our marriage would not make it. Honestly, we both didn't think it would make it several times. 

So what is the secret? Truthfully, I don't believe there is a secret, God would not keep something that important a secret. What He also did not keep a secret is the fact in this world we will have trouble, not just a few but all of us will have
trials and struggles that could break the best of marriages.

We can do all the right things, forgive, affirm, listen, 
communicate, have security, children, money, etc. Yet the Bible says our hearts are deceitfully wicked. Keeping our hearts pure is the hardest part of living in this fallen world

Here is the most important truth, God did not keep this a secret either, He loves us. The abundant life He promised us is not found in marriage but in the fact He loves us. ,He never disappoint, never leave us, listen well, affirms us, forgives us always. and never divorces us. Ace and I are still married because of that truth and none other. He loves us.


Bill (cycleguy) said...

Jo and I hit 46 this past June. I would have to add another one. We never, NEVER, brought up the "d" word during all those years. We never saw it as an option. not that we ever even got that close but even if we had it would not have been suggested. Good thoughts Betty. Wish all young couples would hear this.

Wise Hearted said...

I wish the d word had never been in our options either but sad to say our first 15 years were rough. Ace was a drinker, not a mean one like my Dad but in Ace own words he would tell you he was a man of no charterer those years. He was a prodigal son from 13 to 35. He has two children by two different women that were a result of those difficult years. I don't write about it often even though he has given me freedom to. I left him three times, almost divorced him but even though I was not saved after he had a massive heart attack at 26 he cleaned up his life, got out of the pig pen and headed back to the Father. I have felt like a fool at times for sticking it out but of course that is how the devil wants me to feel. I understand human love well, it's is thin and frail and without a stabilizer to hold it together it still human love. God's love is the glue that can take two thin loves and created a bond that loves with God's love. I believe in love with out God in in a life, we loved each other as much as any 17 year old messed couple could. You know, I do know a few without Christ who have a good marriage, it's possible but not a divine love. Good for you and Joe for added the glue of on no divorce, no matter what. God has wasted none of our mistakes and sins, God has given us great discernment when it comes to working with people. I love that I cannot blame God for our frail marriage, if I could I would not be able to trust Him. I spoke at a Ladies retreat a few weeks ago of the powerless human love and the strength of God's love for us and how it can hold us together in any storm if we will trust it. I am thankful for those feelings that come with falling in love, that attraction to someone that draws blindly most of the time. without it there would be no human race.

Wise Hearted said...

As usual, I type to fast and did not read what I wrote, but you are a whiz with a Holy God living in you that always gets my heart in my writing. I was working on some re-write on my book last night and realized I need to get this finished, the mind is slipping more and more. Of course it was 4 in the morning when I was doing this too. I finally went to sleep at 5. With insomnia you take what you can get and uses what time is given. Blessings

Cheryl said...

Congratulations to you and Ace, Betty! May God bless you with many, many more years together! It sounds like He has brought you through so much. Thank you for your transparency and humility and for sharing with us here, sweet sister.

Martha Jane Orlando said...

Happy Anniversary to the both of you, Betty, and congrats on being together for 55 years! Yes, knowing God loves us and putting Him first in our relationships goes a long, long way to ensure an enduring marriage. May He continue to shower His blessings upon you!

Wise Hearted said...

what is it the Marines say, no pain, no gain. I know you agree with me, without a few struggles no growth and just like the old song says, It will be worth it all when we see Jesus.

Wise Hearted said...

Thanks Martha, hope all is well with you. we had a bad case of stomach virus go through us and I am still recovering but since I can't go out yet I am using my time to do some writing on my book. Goodness, it will need so much editing. Happy Fall.

Linda Stoll said...

Betty, thanks for that needed reminder that our deepest love needs are met in God. Finally claiming this truth allows us to be in marriage in ways that are less needy and more free to love well.

I love the photo and I send you both my congrats!

Bless you.

Wise Hearted said...

Great truth Linda, if we depend on our mate to fill the deep love we will disappointed all the time even if they are the best mate in the world. Blessing sister.