I don't think I have ever written something as "fresh" as this is.
The condo we rent is up for sale as of two weeks ago. It's been a constant stream of real estate agents with their clients passing through.
This morning I was in the bedroom still in my bed clothes heard people coming up our steps then heard them in our hallway. Thanks God I was able to get the door closed and start reaching for clothes. My husband heard them too, went to see what the noise was when the door opens and about eight real estate agents just came walking through right past him without even ringing the door bell first. Of course they apologized, well sort of. Within a hour our door bell rang and there stood another agent with her clients wanting to go through the place. All I could think was, the bathroom is a mess. They went on and on how cute and warm the place looked and why were we not buying it?
I have written a lot about control since it's a major struggle for me. A lack of control makes me depressed, grouchy and hard to get along with. Looking at circumstances through the words, "lack of control" makes me think I need to do something to get the control back. But if I look through the lens of "lack of trust" I realize only God can build trust in me. It's not something I can do naturally especially in the middle of the trial.
God's timing is always perfect for I just started reading "The Fires of Delayed Answers" by Bob Sorge. Two months ago I bought this book for my kindle but just got around to reading it during the Thanksgiving week. We were flying standby to Minnesota and back to California which holds a lot of unknowns, thing I cannot control. We just made it out of Fargo, North Dakota before the hard snow storm hit, Chicago was a mess due to the front moving in. We sit all afternoon through about four flights trying to get back west...finally after last flight of the night left full we got a hotel for the night. The next afternoon we had to fly viva Las Vegas to Los Angeles through some pretty rough turbulent, you know the kind you grip your seat mate hand real hard. Thanks God it was my husbands hand. I tried hard to "lean in" to Jesus waiting for rough weather to pass, it did when we landed, only to have to go back through it on the next flight west.
It has been encouraging to read how those bible character struggled with bad attitudes, worry, anger, depression and countless other negative feelings. I know God is going to bring me through another move, His did it twenty seven times before and His grace and mercy will do it again. I am just having a little trouble keeping that perspective at this point. So that's why I am standing in the need of prayer. Not prayer that our condo won't sell or an investor will buy and we can continue to rent it. Not even prayer for the next place we will move to. Not even for the money it would take to buy this place ourselves. Well maybe that would be my second prayer. My first would be to trust Him so much so that I am a good testimony to those around me, my husband, our son, family, friends.
It's been a couple of hours since the last restate agent left and we just found out in Simi Valley, Fridays are open days for realtors to come by...without calling first. Totally out of my control.
Will you pray for me? And is there something I can pray for you?