I really love reading book reviews—especially the kind where people share how a book actually affected them. So I thought I’d do that here.
First off, on a scale of 1–5, this one is a solid 5+.
I had never even heard of Brant Hansen before picking this up, and now I’m already reading my second book by him, Blessed Are the Misfits—so that should tell you something right there.
Most of the authors I read are in full-time ministry, but Hansen isn’t. He’s a radio host… just a regular guy who is serious about his faith. And honestly, I liked that.
The reason I picked up this book in the first place is because it deals with something that’s really close to home for me—anger. It’s one of those things that I know can do a lot of damage in my life if I let it.
What really grabbed me were some of the questions on the back of the book:
- Isn’t it normal to be offended?
- Aren’t we supposed to get angry sometimes?
- If God gets angry, why can’t we?
And then Hansen asks this question that kind of stops you in your tracks:
What if Christians were the most unoffendable people on the planet?
That idea alone was enough to pull me in.
Now, I’ll be honest—there wasn’t anything in this book that I hadn’t heard before. I’ve read a lot about anger over the years. But my pastor used to always say, repetition is the best way to learn, and I believe that.
Sometimes you don’t need something new—you just need to hear the truth again until it sticks.
The main thing Hansen keeps coming back to is this:
I choose whether I’m offended or not.
And that’s not always easy to hear, because it puts the responsibility back on me—not the other person.
We’re told to forgive. And when you really think about it, anger and forgiveness don’t work well together. You can’t hold tightly to both.
I think part of why this hit me so strongly is because of my own story.
Growing up, I believed I had every right to be angry at my dad. He was abusive, he drank, and there wasn’t much love or affection in our home. One of the words he used for us was “pitiful.” Imagine starting your day with that in your head.
So yes, I felt justified in my anger.
And honestly, if God hadn’t stepped into my life, I’d probably still be carrying that around today.
Learning that forgiveness is stronger than anger has been a long process for me. But I realized at some point—if I trust God with my salvation, then I need to trust Him with everything else too… including my past.
One thing Hansen says really stood out to me. He talks about how we like to think our anger is “righteous,” but really…
We kind of like being angry.
Because it makes us feel like we’re right. Like we’ve got something over someone else.
That’s hard to admit—but it’s true.
And then this:
The very thing we think justifies our anger is often the exact thing we’re called to forgive.
That’s grace.
Letting go of anger isn’t about saying what happened was okay—it’s about letting go of the right to hang onto it.
Because truthfully, anger comes easy.
Love is the hard part. Love takes a miracle.
So how has this book affected me?
It’s made me more aware.
I still get angry—but I catch it faster now. I don’t sit in it as long.
It reminds me of what my pastor used to say:
You can’t stop birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest.
That “nest” from my childhood—those hurts from my dad—they’ve lingered a long time. I’ve forgiven him, but I can still see how it shows up in my life today, especially in trust.
To be honest, trusting men has always been hard for me. And yes, that’s affected my marriage too.
I’ve had to learn that you can go through the motions—submit, be agreeable—and still not truly forgive. Forgiveness goes deeper than that.
One of the most powerful moments in my journey was near the end of my dad’s life.
Seeing him broken, sitting in a wheelchair, his mind gone… and realizing something I hadn’t fully grasped before:
Jesus died for him just like He died for me.
That changed something in me.
That’s where the real letting go started—not all at once, but step by step.
If you’re looking for a book that will really challenge you when it comes to anger and offense, I would definitely recommend this one.
It’s not a quick fix. It’s something you work through daily. At least it is for me.
I’d love to hear from you—have you read a book lately that really impacted you?
Drop the title and share a little about it if you want. I’m always looking for something new to read… especially the kind of book you just have to pass on to someone else.
Because those are the best kind.
I’ll leave you with this verse, because it really says it better than I can:
“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”
— Proverbs 19:11
And honestly… that’s the kind of person I want to become.
