It is enough

My head was full of great plans to do nothing but work on my book.   I knew I would have tons of extra time as we house sit for three weeks for some friends who were  going on a mission trip.  My carry on bag was full of extra paper, pen, pencils, notes from all sort of places just waiting to be polished and written down.  Several pages of, 'helps" from different people who have written books .  Lots of helps transferred to my husband lap top which would be available all day for me.   

 Three whole weeks in Kentucky,  then we headed off to Minnesota where our daughter lives for a month long vacation.  I envisioned sitting in our little RV, drinking green tea, maybe a few home made cookies from my daughter and God flowing words and sentences I had never thought of through my finger tips.  

We are back in California and all the suitcases are unpacked except my carry on still full of all that material I took.  I dread opening it up and pulling out all those resources  and all those blank pieces of paper.

Yes, you read that right, blank, blank, blank.  I did not even take it  out of the carry on...not one piece.  Oh wait, I did take out my bible and a book I brought to read, my devotional and one pencil.

What causes this kind of relapse in  a person?  My intension were good, I prepared for writing, I had the place free of interruptions, well most of the time.  Trust me, I had plenty of time to write but did not add one word to the three chapters I have already written.

  Did I waste a lot of time?  Maybe some, but still there was plenty of time left.  So what was it???   Procrastination, laziness, illness, too much going on,  am I losing interest in writing my book?  I don't think so.  Actually, I really don't feel guilty about not working on my book and I think I can tell you why.  It was not at the top of my list of things to do.  I thought it was until we hug our daughter and family.  All thoughts of my book vanished.

Getting older does make one look through a different perspective on just about every thing.  I do not feel that rushed feeling anymore to keep the same pace I kept in past years.

At the top of my lists is enjoying time with our adult children because they enjoy being with us.  Also the grandchildren tug at my heart to get to know them better.  I feel as if my responsibility has shifted to what is more important for me and them.   In my younger years I would spend too much time on the phone talking to friends  or running yard sell or thrift store shopping.   Oh my children were always there with me but my attention was divided too much.

Fluid is the word I would use to describe how I was feeling during the past couple of months.  Being fluid can mean one who is likely or able to change, adaptable, adjustable, changeable; flexible.  There are a lot more adjectives to describe being fluid but you get my point.

Let me tell you what I did do with my time...hugged our family a lot, said I love you a lot, played games with grandchildren, watched movies with them, cooked for them, did the dishes with them, went shopping a lot with my daughter since I was helping her decorate her freshly painted walls. 

 Went out to eat a lot,  and enjoyed our  oldest grandson, Logan graduation party. Sung some good old southern gospel music three times at churches, met a lot of people they know.  Enjoyed getting to know our daughters in laws, lovely people.  Ave Jo, the youngest grand daughter's cat had kittens a few weeks before we got there so I spend lots of time loving on those kittens.  I''d sit in my RV and yell, Ava Jo, go get Grandma  a baby kitten.  

The oldest grand daughter will be a senior in college and got to spend some quality time with her.  Watched the smile on my husband face as he fix several things needing a man skills. Read the book I brought, heard a good message about my God, got to give counsel to a women who needed to know she was loved.

But...I did not add one word to my book.    I am not sure when I will unpack my carry on full of all the items I took to write from.

“Half of me is filled with bursting words and half of me is painfully shy. I crave solitude yet also crave people. I want to pour life and love into everything yet also nurture my self-care and go gently. I want to live within the rush of primal, intuitive decision, yet also wish to sit and contemplate. This is the messiness of life - that we all carry multitudes, so must sit with the shifts. We are complicated creatures, and ultimately, the balance comes from this understanding. Be water. Flowing, flexible and soft. Subtly powerful and open. Wild and serene. Able to accept all changes, yet still led by the pull of steady tides. It is enough.”
― Victoria Erickson 

I know I am led by the pull of a steady tide, or better yet, led by the creator of the steady tide and it is enough. Wise Hearted 

Reminders

This is my 2019 monthly planner that I bought because of the cover.  I love maps and globes because they remind me life is not all about me.  Everyday,  millions of people get up and breathe God created air just as I do.   Yet when they stop breathing air into their body many will not go to heaven.  I want to be reminded on a daily bases of this so I can be ready to give an answer for the hope that lives within me.  

Recently I did some updating in my living room. I put a big map over our fireplace, a couple globes, items that remind us of the needs of the world. The map has this quote on it,  "You will receive power  when the Holy Spirit has come upon you and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem and in all of Judea and Samaria,  and even to the remotest part of the earth".  

Another thing I like to do occasionally to remind me of the lost in the uttermost parts of the world is to look at our pictures from our overseas mission days.  

The little girl is the pink name is, Betty Jo, after me.   

A trip into the village our daughter and family were in required a half hour ride in  a single engine plane. That is our oldest grand daughter beside her Grandpa, she was coming home for a break from boarding school.  Getting into the village is so much easier with an airstrip. The first time we went for a visit we flew into another village , got into canoes for a four hour river ride. And that is how we returned. So when the Yembi village built their own airstrip thanks to the generous people in different parts of the world we flew straight into the village.  It was amazing.  A four hour canoe trip might sound adventurous to you but once was enough for me.  I'll take a half hour single engine plane ride any time.  No alligators swimming in the sky. 

A visit in a village high in the mountains of Papua New Guinea.  These little kids loved showing me around. In this village we noticed the crosses on the grave were turned upside down.  In their belief after dying their spirit would be able to grab the upside down cross and come out of the grave.  These people have had the gospel presented in their own language and some translation of the Bible done. More is currently going on. 

 This was a surprise going away party from the men who worked on our base. They lived in the villages nearby.  They saved their money and bought us a store bought cake from town.  No ovens in their villages. It was a humbling time for us, lots of tears. 

Men and women in the Yembi village learning to read. 

Ace helping to build benches for a teaching house in a village. 

This is in the Yembi village where our daughter and family lived.  These gifts were made by hand by the folks sitting with us.  They told me to fill the basket  with food for Ace and hang it outside my house.

This last picture is the support base where we lived. From here we were able to supply food, fuel, mail, etc out to the remote villages where the missionaries lived.  On this base, we were able to provide housing for those coming out in need of a doctor, and a rest.  The Madang town was 20 miles from our base and from it we could catch a plane to a larger town or to Australia when it was serious.  Our helicopter  land right on our support center .  Surrounding us were villages where you can see the smoke from their cook fires.   We had our own generator for electricity.  The beauty of this place is being right on the ocean which has beautiful coral reefs and great fishing.  The most surprising thing for me was the sounds at night. As soon as the sun went down all the bugs, birds, reptiles, animals would start their own chatter which at times could be quite loud. It really did sound like jungle. 

People ask all the time if we miss it and we can say honestly, YES.  Oh not the rugged living but being a part of something bigger than ourselves, YES.  Papua New Guinea was and still is undeveloped in so many ways.  One learns quickly how to use what is available at the outdoor market and the few stores there.  You learn quickly how to plan ahead when you have to cook everything from scratch.  Ace and I would do it again if God said go again.  For now though, He has us in a stateside ministry helping our missionaries when they return to the states.  We are content.  One does not have to go overseas to find lost souls, they are all around us everyday wherever we live.     

"Mercy means I am so deeply grateful for the forgiveness I have received that I cannot help offering you the same. "

Paul Tripp

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