Fear is an ageless emotion., given by God to draw us to Him not away from Him. But ever since the fall we hide fears tucked sometimes so deep within our hearts that we can't put a tag on what it is we really fear.
Just the other day God shed some light on a fear that is keeping me from enjoying this new adventure God has designed for us. Being a missionary for many years, living in a couple third world countries, in remote location you would think I had done enough and conquered enough fears that I would not be bothered much with it at my age. Fear comes wrapped in many packages and I am learning age does make the package look different. When I was in my early 40's I don't remember fearing the reality of immortality....about 20 years later fear came wrapped in the "age reality" package. Heaven was sounding closer as my body groaned whenever I tried to do what I could do without effort at 40. Fear grew as friends my age begin to lose their mates but they had a home, were financially set up and the reality of us not having those things, no home, no money came slowing stealing my peace and joy. For about a year I struggled with this fear and every good thing God sent my way came out joyless as I battled this insecurity. Like all fear it left as I continue to look fear in the face, call in out for what it was...unbelief that God would take care of His children, no matter what age..
Life is never dull with the Lord and one does not have to go live in a foreign country to do battle with fear and insecurity. We will be moving from the Bible belt of Kentucky to Southern California which might quality as a foreign country to a southern gal. (only joking) Excitement fills my heart until as I think about living close to our son and grandchildren but then the catch comes. You see our son is not walking with the Lord and he is struggling in every area, his marriage, his finances..my fear is our parent heart will get in the way of God's heart for our son.
This fear comes often to steal my joy even though it is clear to me God is the one who opened the door for us to minister close to our son and grand children. As I write this I realize just naming my fears make them smaller. Godly perspective settles in and I know it is the battles calling me to suit up in the armor of God daily until He calls us out of the reality of this world into His presence. There we will no longer need a suit of armor for we will be like Him...the reality of our faith will be face to face with the King of Kings. Amen, Amen.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
This Could Be the Cloud He's Coming Back On
There is nothing I love better then watching clouds. They fill me with a sense of anticipation and always make me start singing the song, This Could Be The Cloud He's Coming Back On. Even though I expect Him every day I don't get discouraged when He gives us one more day to serve Him here on earth.
Recently I got new lenses (artificial lenses) in my eyes and now when I turn my head a certain way there is sort of a twinkle that some say they can see when the light is just right. It kind of makes me feel special when someone mentions it.
Lately I have been dwelling on a few words used to describe the swiftness of our accent to heaven. In the twinkling of an eye. My mind wondered, why not in the blink of an eye, or in the closing of our eye, better yet why not a double blink? Sometime clarity comes as you dwell on something...God gives insight.
This (change will be in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye (1Co_15:52), in the very instant, or not long after the raising up of those that sleep in Jesus. And those who are raised, and thus changed, shall meet together in the clouds, and there meet with their Lord, to congratulate him on his coming, to receive the crown of glory he will then bestow upon them, and to be assessors with him in judgment, approving and applauding the sentence he will then pass upon the prince of the power of the air, and all the wicked, who shall be doomed to destruction with the devil and his angels. ( Now this was exciting to see both phrases in the same commentary.)
The doctor took out the lenses God place in my eyes recently because of cataracts. The ones He formed while I was developing inside my mother womb but from the very moment they were formed they were frail, bound to fail if I lived long enough. It's not God's fault, He really does not make junk but Adam and Eve being casted out of the Garden brought frailness into being. No longer was God working with perfection, sin had taken it's toll. Until He send His Son, one not tainted by sin or frailness, one with a permanent twinkle in His eyes.
From the beginning a twinkle was talked about: Gen. 1:31
The time when this work was concluded: The evening and the morning were the sixth day; so that in six days God made the world. We are not to think but that God could have made the world in an instant. He said that, Let there be light, and there was light, could have said, “Let there be a world,” and there would have been a world, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, as at the resurrection, 1Co_15:52
Personally I am glad He saved the twinkling of an eye for the taking us home. Clouds make me wonder is His eyes twinkling now...oh I hope soon they will..come quickly Lord Jesus.
Friday, July 29, 2011
The Graveyard Children (My first try at fictional short story written several years ago)
The Graveyard Children
They were starting to gather as I sit underneath the huge rain tree near the graveyard. As always Nikina was the first to reach me, throwing her arms open wide for her usual hug. Soon they were tumbling over each other for hugs except for Nikina little sister, Gloria. She hung back, eyes down, looking the worst I had ever seen her look. Soon all were seated and munching on the cookies I had brought, even Gloria. Tears filled my eyes as memories flooded me of the first time I tried to reach out to these children who played most days in an old graveyard. Memories of another little Gloria whose life touched mine so many years ago.
Dave and I met at bible school each with a different goal. I went because my parent insisted that’s what I needed to break the rebellious spirit in me. He was there because of something I could not understand at the time, a calling from God for missions. Every girl there noticed him, handsome, rugged, soft but firm voice when he spoke. As always I was too loud, wore too much makeup, anything I could to get his attention. The only attention it got me though was from the staff that was always pulling me aside to discipline me. I determined in my mind I was leaving this place as soon as I had enough money saved. With my part time job I knew it would take a long time but until then I would just have fun.
About three weeks into the first semester I had worked late at my job in a nearby restaurant and was cleaning up when in came this family with three children. The woman came to the counter and asks since it was almost closing time if there any food left that we were giving away. With my boss permission I gather up the left over’s and gave them to the family. . Goodness they were hungry except for the littlest girl; she was crying and had lain down in the booth. I continued to clean up behind the counter and heard the door close so went out to clean up their mess. What a surprise to find that little girl still lying in the booth. I shouted to the boss who came and he went out side to look for her family without any luck. I sit down besides her not really wanting to touch her since she smelled so bad. The boss called the police and while we were waiting Dave walked in. He was wondering if we were still serving food, he had worked late at the family shelter and was on his way back to bible school. When he saw the little girl and I explained what happened, he took a good look at her and said he knew who she was, that her family sometimes stayed in the shelter. Finally police came, Dave even talked to them and they called family services. The little girl must have recognizes Dave for she crawled upon his lap while we were waiting; he played with her hair, talked softly to her. She stopped crying until a person from family service came and took her away.
Well from that night I had a point of contact with Dave and I used it to my advantage, always asking him about the little girl for I knew he was checking into her upkeep through the shelter. It wasn’t that I was totally void of any emotions for the little girl, I felt sorry for her but mostly my focus was on Dave, he was so handsome. One day he asks me if I would like to go with him to see her, her name was Gloria. We arrived at the foster parent house which made me wonder what was wrong with the people who place her there. It was dirty, over ran with kids, the woman who answer the door was not friendly but she let Gloria come outside to talk with us. I found out later it was because Dave had been bringing food for them. Gloria face lit up when she saw Dave and she went into those big strong arms of his like he was her father. I was so jealous since I wanted him to hug me like that but of course I did not show it. All too soon we had to get back to the Bible school but I continue to go with Dave to see Gloria.
Close to thanksgiving we were taking a turkey with the works over to the foster house where Gloria lived. The foster mother met us at the door and informed us Gloria was in the hospital so we left and went straight there. The nurse informed us Gloria had pneumonia, a bad strain and was dying. She said, you are the first people to come see about her, and to my surprise they let us go in to see her. Seeing her laying so close to death shook me and for the first time I felt something stirring in me. I listen to Dave as he held her and talked softly to Gloria, her little hand in his. He told her the story of Jesus again and that if she wanted to she could go live with him in a nice warm wonderful place where everyone loved each other and there was no pain. As Dave prayed a prayer I felt the urge to pray also and ask God to forgive me and that I believed in His son. Several days later Gloria died. I was devastated but Dave was calm through it all and with such assurance in his voice he said the most powerful word at Gloria funeral. That nothing could separate us from the love of God. I knew I did not want to be separated from this awesome love I had experienced. I started paying attention in the classes and the Bible began to have meaning. Everyone noticed the change in me especially Dave for I had begin to love him the right way only to find out he already loved me and had been praying and waiting for me from the day he met me.
Well long story short, Dave goals became mine and we married and moved to a foreign land and began a ministry to street children. In this country you could not operate a children shelter; you had to go out where they were. That’s how I ended up in the graveyard for that is where they played hide and seek among the tombstones. Nakina was about 10 when one day she brought her three year old sister. Her mother had left her to care for her little sister who had no name yet. I called her Gloria. Their mother cared nothing for the children; she would not even acknowledge me when I tried to talk to her about them. At first I gave her money to help buy food but soon learned that was a mistake. So I begin to pack food to the graveyard so they at least had one good meal a day. Nakina had accepted Jesus as her Savior and prayed daily that her little sister would survive the lack of food, the beatings, the harshness of their living condition long enough to understand the gospel. Despite my gentle couching Gloria would not let me touch her. . Her pain was such a wall between us, she trusted on one by her sister. That day I told the Bible story of Jesus playing with the little children and how they sit on his lap because they were not afraid of him. After the children had eaten all the cookies they went back to playing tag except Gloria. I was so use to her silently just sitting there and was absorbed in watching the other children that I did not notice her till I felt her hand on my shoulder. As I turned my face toward her she open her little arms wide and fell toward me. I caught her in my arms. Tears flowed freely from both of us as I hugged her tight and stroke her hair and sang, Jesus love you this I know. She let me hold her till Nakina came and said we must go home before my mother get back or we will get a beating. Nakina did all the cooking for the family. How hard it was to let go of Gloria but the word of God came back to me, nothing can separate us from the love of God. God’s love in my heart was drawing little Gloria just as it drew the little Gloria to Dave many years ago. What I wanted to do was snatch both Gloria and Nakina and takes them home with me but I knew their mother would send the police and they would throw us in jail and deport us. Then I would never see the girls again or the other children too. Ministry in a foreign country can be so hard because of the cultural differences that sometime make us feel like our hands are tied. I just kept thinking as I walked back home anxious to tell Dave what God had brought about that day in the graveyard, God’s hands are never tied. There was no place God’s love could not reach the little children, and not even a graveyard could not separate them from the love of Jesus. Now I had something more to trust him for. I prayed, dear Lord untie the hands of that bind these little girls to such a life that will destroy them, work it out that Dave and I might be able to adopt them. While I wait for God to work I will continue to meet them in a graveyard and trust the one who defeated the grave.
Betty Draper
ace_draper@ntm.org
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Ministry in its fullest
Ministry Is:
Giving when you feel like keeping
Praying for others when you need to be prayed for
Feeding others when your own soul is hungry
Living truth before people even when you can’t see results
Hurting with other people even when your own hurt can’t be spoken
Keeping your word even when it is not convenient
Being faithful when your flesh wants to run away
See Matthew 28:20 & II Corinthians 4, 6, 11
It's always about other, preferring others in our daily life. Life with Christ is filled with others,others to give to others giving to me.
(This was worth reposting)
It's always about other, preferring others in our daily life. Life with Christ is filled with others,others to give to others giving to me.
(This was worth reposting)
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Geckeo Chasers
Soon they settled down to listen to a bush missionary lady tell of how God moved in her life around their age to get her to this land of not so cute geckeo and green frogs. These young women along with the men who came worked, sacrifice and were heavenly provided the funds to come help on some building project on our support center.
They hit the ground with an abundance of energy even 20 hours on a plane could not dampen ready to tackle the tasks set before them. We marveled at the speed they were getting things done...looking forward to the extra that were planned for them. Trips into town to shop in the market, swimming in the ocean, a traditional mu mu and sing sing in a nearby village.
The adventure got kicked up a notch when the village invited them to watch the pig begin prepared (killed ), help peel all the local veggies to join the pig in a prepared place in the ground. A huge earthen crock pot surrounded by leaves, topped with dirt and set to simmer. Finally the next day it was time for the unveiling of that cooked pig. About a hundred people came to mostly just watch this group of 20 some Americans enjoy a traditional party (mu mu...sing sing. All too soon it was over, the group came back wearing the gift given to them made out of bush material. Their hearts had been stirred, some voicing how they could live down at the village.
Everybody who comes on a round trip ticket leaves usually very stirred but easily slipped into the thinking that the mission field is somewhere over seas not on their home front. So my heart was to give these girl a gift to remind them of their time in PNG. A one kina coin ( about 45 cents) has a hole in the middle so I set about making simple necklaces for each girl. After I gave them out I challenged them to use is not only to tell of the adventure they had been on but take their stories one step farther and tell of God's work in their heart and find out if the hearers knows the creator of the gecko and green frogs. The battle for souls are won or lost right where ever the gospel is presented., anywhere in the world.
What I seen as I watched their faces singing, How Great Thou Art that night was young women already with some young wisdom eager to learn, be used, future wise hearted women. A blessing to have just a small touch in their lives.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Making The Angels Sing
FAITHFULNESS HAS IT’S REWARDS
We work with some pretty incredible people here in Papua New Guinea. People who have taken to heart that God is faithful not only in the big things but the little things too. .
In 1987 Andrew and Ruth Murray and their two sons left the shores of England after bible school for America to get specialized training to learn a language never written down, communicate cross culturally with the people who spoke the language, and translate the bible into their language. In 1988 they moved into Nimo tribe. You could literally sit for hours and listen to story after story of how God sustained them, encouraged them through so many highs and lows of this kind of ministry. They would tell you it’s not been easy but they would do it again to get to this part you see being played out in the picture below. Yes that is the Nimo New Testament Bible those believers now hold in their hands.
Since 2005 they have lived on the support center here in Papua New Guinea where they finished the translation of the New Testement. They would work on the translation all morning then help in what ever areas needed on the support center plus fulfilled the role of Language and Culture consultant for our region.
Ace and I are privilege to call this couple our friends, our co-workers. We two couples are very aware of the need to train up the younger ones to replace us and for God to continue to raise others up. It is so very true that here the laborers are few and the harvest is plenty. There is village after village just waiting for someone to step out in faith just as Ruth and Andrew did over 23 years.
The goal of a believer is to make the angels in heaven sing. Ace and I love being part of the support team that helps missionaries start that choir singing. Heaven will be filled with believers from every tongue and nation singing praises to the Lamb of God and we'll join that choir singing at the top of our heavenly lungs.
What a day that will be, when my Jesus I will see
When I look upon His face the one who saved me by His grace
And He takes me by the hand and lead me to the promise land
What a day, wonderful day that will be
There will be no crying there, no more burdens to bear
No more sickness, no pain, no more parting over there
All is peace forever more, on that happy golden shore
What a day, glorious day that will
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
A group of courageous wise hearted women gather at my friend house for the soul purpose to hear me speak about missionary life. I did wonder, how could these women relate to me for living in a undeveloped country carries it's own stress that is hard to explain. But there are some stresses that we women all face no matter where we live, they are universal. Those are the kind we talked about that day...how Jesus told us to anticipate them, for in this world we will have trials and tribulations. Recognizing who we are just as He knew who He was, (God in the flesh) is one way to battle stress. We women gathered that day could call ourselves the daughter of a King, not just any King but the King of the universe, the Creator of the Universe. He gathered around him those who desired to grow in their knowledge of the Father. From that the stress of walking the hills of Israel were made lighter. And the most important part is the knowledge that this stressful life is not going to go on forever..there will come a day when our Lord will take us home, where no stress lives. So that day in my friend house we band of sisters in the Lord, we daughters of the Most High King gained courage and strength from each other as we looked into His Word, prayed and shared our hearts. As they say in Kentucky, "it was just a little slice of heaven". The next day we flew out of LA back to Papua New Guinea and I knew I had gained something valuable that day in my friends living room. I gained wise hearted women who would pray when I sent a request, women who lives were made richer by just coming in contact with each other, women who would view stress from a different perspective. I know my life was made richer by their friendship and I thank God for it.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)