I GOT WHAT I ASK FOR

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If ever there was souls hovering on the brink of Hell it was the two criminals,  virtual nobodies hanging beside Jesus, the Son of God. In a heartbeat, one voiced what his intuition had detected; that Jesus was indeed the Son of God! With his dying breathe he said,"'Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom" (Luke: 23:42). What Jesus did next was a wonderful example of understanding, acceptance, love, and compassion all wrapped up in one conclusive act. It is the epitome of the life of Jesus, strength thru adversity. Without hesitation Jesus responded to his plea for mercy: "Jesus answered him, 'I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise'" (Luke:23:43). We can learn from one of the two who were crucified next to Jesus. It is never too late to repent and ask the Lord to accept us. Jesus cleansed this man from his sins, received him graciously, and justified him unconditionally. He conferred upon a sinner the gift of eternal life. 

I have often wondered if those two thieves had family watching the crucifixion. If so, were they saying, "yeah he is getting exactly what he deserves; he is a thief, a criminal, brought

nothing but shame to our family." Did they hear the exchange between them and Jesus? The scriptures give us no answers to these kinds of questions. What the exchange between them and Jesus did was leave us with Hope.

Hope was all I had as I prayed from the day I got saved, God please save my family and use "whatever it takes".  In my human mind with wounds not healed yet it was a huge step of faith to pray this way.  There was no love for my father in me...he had beaten it all out with his drunken cruelty when I was young.  I was learning to draw from the heavenly Father unconditional love for me for power to even pray for him.

 Dad's drinking buddies called me after finding Dad at his house lying in a pool of blood, out of his mind.    Like a little child Dad lifted his arms to us when he heard my husband say, Clyde we have come to take you to get help.  He was so dirty after laying for four days in his own vomit, blood and urine, but he came without a fight.   After many test the VA doctors said, your Dad had a stroke which reduced him to a child, he cannot control his body functions, he had almost bled to death due to a stomach ailment and he needs to be in a nursing home.  On top of all that Dad was already dealing with only having one leg. 

Weeks later they placed in him a nursing home near us and we began our weekly visits.  I can't remember when God begin to first speak to me about bringing Dad home to care for.  What I do remember is not wanting to believe I heard Him right but my husband was hearing the very same thing.  So after much prayer we turned our living room into a bedroom complete with furniture needed to take care of a 58 year old child.  I was to learn love is not a feeling but an act of the will.

Because our life was full of church related events we worked hard taking Dad with us everytime the doors were open.  There were time when Dad would resist but we just kept taking him in hopes the Word would penetrate his darken heart.  Sometimes it seemed his  mind would clear up and for few minutes you could talk to him about Jesus. But 99 percent of the time Dad lived in the past, mostly thinking I was his mother.  When he was in the present were the times he would curse me and fight me. I think it was too humiliating for him to have my hand take care of him.  Once he turned to me and said, "you know Jo, it's not supppose to be  this way!" I knew he meant me taking of him like a child, I said you are right its not suppose to be this way but it is Dad.  I think in his own way he was trying to say he was sorry...guess I wanted it to mean that.

Dad begin to get weak so back to the hospital we went only to find out he had lung cancer.  He needed radiation treatments which they hoped would slow the cancer down.  It did for a while but the treatment took what little strength Dad had left. He no longer could help me getting him into the wheelchair and we had to stopped taking him to church and get someone in to care for him when we could not be there. 

Finally I could not get Dad to eat even liquids so I took him back to the hospital this time to find the cancer was back and was eating into his windpipe.  We knew the time had come for us to let them put Dad back into a nursing home.  Young children could not go to the rooms so this one evening Ace went first as I stayed with our kid in the lobby.  He was gone about a 45 minutes and as I watched him walk toward us I knew something wonderful happened because his face was glowing.  He said, honey you won't believe this but your Dad's mind was clear as if he never had a drink or a stroke and he understood the gospel and ask forgiveness then ask Jesus into his heart.  Ace was so excited by this miracle he had witness he thought we might be able to bring Dad home with us.

Early the next morning the doctor called, my Dad had passed away.  At first we were stunned...then the glory of the Lord broke through and for the first time I felt love for my Dad in my heart crowding out all the pain and bitterness and forgiveness flooded my soul.   My second thought was, Dad was like the thief on the cross...no time to get baptisted, no works to even take to the fire, only Jesus promises today you will be with me in paradise.   The ground is truely level at the foot of the cross.

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in our tribulation, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance, and perseverance, proven character; proven character, hope, and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Roman 5:1-5

When I speak this testemony I am always ask, "would I do it again" and I answer yes, yes, yes.  I learned more about the love of Jesus through that hard time that would keep me through countless others to come...Happy Easter

While working on my blog site today I failed to proceed with caustion and fell into a deleated pot hole as I was trying to construct a new building.     So there will be a shut down until I can fix the hole.  Until then...

Happy Easter

Christmas Eve Courage

 In times past my mother (middle)

on Christmas Eve would be urging us to eat all the good things she knew we loved and she loved preparing for us. So today, December 24th, 2011 was a hard day on her and I (left) both as did the best we could with “ it is what it is".

It started the day before Christmas Eve early in the afternoon after driving four hours we stopped at the nursing home to prepare Mom for our excursion the next day. Carrying her Christmas present we walked into her room her roommate seeing us first. Laying my hand on her shoulder I spoke, Mom, its Jo. She finally recognizes me and as always her voice went up three octaves’s as she said what she always does, "well Jo I didn't know you were coming"! God has so blessed my Mom with a sweetheart of a roommate who usually leaves so we can a little private time.

    I laid the stuffed package in Mom's lap as we kissed, hugged and she begin to retell us things she had told us a few weeks ago and would retell many times that day. All the time she is handling the wrapped package....in-between the retells her lips begin to tremble as she added, I don't have any money to buy you something, you shouldn't have, you need your money. Telling her it's ok, she does not have to give us anything, it's our turn to give to her, we understand, (but we don't really for we have not come to the place my Mom has YET.)

   I am anxious for her to unwrap the present, wanting to see her delight at receiving what I picked out for her, all her favorite color, pink. Of course she says she likes it all and I proceed to tell her we are going to take her out the next day to Wal-Mart and out to eat. She completely breaks down...apologies for her tears...she says I don't know what’s wrong with me, I can't quit crying. My husband and I are both in tears ( tears flow again as I type this). No, she says, I need to stop crying, this broke our hearts even more and I hugged her and said Mom, tears are ok, they are a release, good for us. Finally she chuckles a little and agreed. After enjoying a little more time with her we left and as we drove to my sister in laws it was me who broke down. My husband just laid his hand on my shoulder wishing he could fix this but knowing full well he cannot. (more tears)

At 10 am the next day, Christmas Eve we picked Mom up and took her to Wal-mart, buying her every little thing she had told me to put on the list I wrote down for her. Vaseline, hand lotion, eye brow tweezers, nail clippers, band aids, little things that were either already in her nursing home drawer or they readily would give her. Only things she did not really have and best part, a small bag of chocolate Kisses...a big one cost too much she said, besides she was not supplying them for everyone who came in her room.  (J)  To choose those items herself, actually to JUST BE in a Wal-mart was the best Christmas present we could give Mom.

Lunch at Wendy's with hopes she would see people she knew like she did at Walmart. As we drove around afterwards my husband ask Mom, "Mildred how far away from here did you travel growing up"? She named a town about 30 miles away...not far. He reminded her of how later in her life we took her to the Grand Canyon, down to the Ozarks, lots of trips with her son and daughter in law to hear a good country singer,  a trip to Vegas with a friend...good memories. I knew he wanted the day to end with those good memories since her future days would be spent in the nursing home till God calls her HOME.  Knowing she was getting tired we ended the day. As I helped her unpack her Wal-mart bags and did some things for her she was a lot more in control by the time I left.

Disease and age has brought my mother to the place of depending on others to do the simple daily things she did for herself for so long. Since most of the time she is totally aware of "where' she is she must keep her emotions in check. The nurses tell us she participates in more activities then most residents.  Mom says it helps in the acceptance of having to allow others to take care of her.

I write a lot about courage, see it often in so many women I meet, pray for it daily.  Today on this Christmas Eve I received a blessing from being in the presence of a courageous wise hearted woman, my mother.