Un-Offendable

Repeat alert:  I bought this book for my daughter over a year ago.  It sit on her selves until this last month when my oldest granddaughter, freshly graduated from college picked it up to read.  The effect it had on her is why I am reposting it.  It moved her to tears.  Why?  This is my opinion, based on the fact I have read the book.   The truth and honesty combined with the power of the Holy Spirit to convict causes a God-felt response in our soul since we all are too easily offended.   If I was rich, this is the one book I would send to everyone in the world.  

 I really like to read book reviews, especially when the person 

writing the review tells how the book affected them.

First of all, on a scale of 1-5, I give this a 5+.  Second I had never heard of Brant Hensen but I am now reading my second book by him,  Blessed are the Misfits.

Third, most books I read are people who are in ministry full time. But this guy is a radio host and a full-time Christian.

Fourth, what made me buy it was he writes on a subject that is dear to my heart and yet the subject that can destroy my life if I let it, anger.

Let me just give you a couple of the questions from the back of the book jacket, it might draw you in like it did me.

Isn't taking offense normal?  Aren't we supposed to get offended?

Isn't anger at sin justifiable?  If God gets mad, why can't we?

Brant Hansen asks a radical, freeing question.  What if Christians were the most "unoffendable" people on the planet?  And He offers a life-changing idea: "righteous anger" is a myth, and giving up our "right" to be offended can be one of the most healthy, simplifying, relaxing, refreshing, stress reliever, encouraging thing we can do.

Now here is how this book has helped me, but first let me say, he says nothing new or anything I did not already know.  The pastor I got saved under always said, repetition is the best way to learn and I totally agree.  I have read countless books on "anger", Hansen formula is not new, people have been writing about it since the beginning of writing things down.  Ever since the first sin of unbelief when Eve was challenged if she really believe what God said about eating that one fruit, the results of it begin to manifest itself in anger,  which led to wrath and a brother killing a brother, and the host of all sins.

Hansen puts it simply, I can choose to be offended.  Right off the bat he lays it back on me, not the one who offended me, but little old me.  We do not have the right to be angry, we are told to forgive.  Both cannot exist together.

Personally I can remember believing I had every right to be angry, (offended) at how my Dad treated me, my mother, and two brothers growing up.  Let me give you a little taste of the word he used to describe us, "pitiful".  Start every day of your life with that word bouncing around in your head.  He was a drunk, abusive father with no affection toward us or anyone for that matter.  Don't you think I have the right to be angry about what he did to us?

Had God not come into my life and I believed He sent His Son to die for me I would still be living with that anger boiling inside me.  That was just the start of a journey of learning forgiveness trumps anger any day.  If I could trust God for my eternal salvation I had to trust Him for the whole package..

I love the way Hansen put God's spin on, "righteous anger".  " I quote, "we like being angry. We don't like what caused the anger, to be sure; we just like thinking we're "got" something on someone. So and so did something wrong, something horribly wrong, and anger offers us a sense of moral superiority.  Righteous anger is tricky, it turns out I tend to find Brent Hansen's anger more righteous than others anger, This is because I am so darn right"   ( you have to read this book so you will get the full effect of this principle that God laid down from the beginning, it's the principal of GRACE. )

More from Hensen:  The thing that you think makes your anger "righteous " is the very thing you are called to forgive.  Grace isn't for the deserving.  Forgiving means surrendering your claim to resentment and letting go of anger.  Anger is extraordinarily easy. It's our default setting. Love is difficult. Love is a miracle.

Back to how this book personally affected me.  I have noticed my awareness is keener when I get angry.  Hansen never says we will ever get to where we never get angry but when our thinking changes we can lessen the time it sticks in our mind.  Like our pastor said, you cannot keep the birds from flying over your head but you can keep them from building a nest.

The nest of hurt from my Dad has affected me all my life. I try to deny it by saying I have forgiven him and I have but here is how it manifests itself in the present day.  I transferred that hurt over my Dad to all men.  Being a survivor from an abusive home is hard to get over.  Trusting is a major problem for me.  Let me define that more, trusting any man is a problem for me.  Any man includes my husband.  Learning that I was to be submissive to him even when I did not agree was like an electrical shock going through me. If I agree with him no problem. I tell him all the time we women understand submissive on a deeper level.  I don't believe that as strong as I use to but if I am not careful I will use it as my default to not forgive him.  I can, like everyone else, submit and not forgive at the same time.  Forgiveness goes deeper then submission or so I think.

To choose and I praise Him for the gift of choice, to choose to not be offended is exactly what Christ did as they crucified Him and He said, Father forgive them, they know not what they do.  The day I looked at my Dad, all broken, in a wheelchair, his mind gone and realized through God's power that He died for my Dad,  and He shed the same amount of blood for him as He did for me was where my journey of shedding my anger, one step into truth at a time started.

 If you looking for a book to challenge your heart over being offended, look no more.  His book along with many others and sermons is what keeps me daily reminded this is a journey and it will not be over till Jesus calls me home.

Read a good book lately, could you leave the title in a comment please and if you wish a brief or long reason why you liked it, what did it help you with.  Or if you are like me, did it make you want to give it to someone so it can help them also.  I love to pass on good books to others.  Hope you do also.

"For Good"

                      

A  dear friend of mine reminded me today through this song how important we are to each other.   She and I worked together for a couple of years in a  school  office.  People, even Christians  cannot work together on anything without there being an opportunity to get offended and misunderstood.

As children of God we are suppose to be different, not a grudge holder,  not held captive by feelings of anger or unforgiveness.  It is when we rub shoulders with each other that we are sharpened and changed.  Each relationship we have, good or bad is meant for our good.   I have had more good relationships than bad ones of which I am thankful.  But I have learned the deepest lesson from the bad ones , they drove me to my knees for insight and wisdom and that supernatural love that help me rise up and be what God wants me to be.


My friend, Debbie reminded me about the two plants she brought for our offices.  They made the office look so much better.  She still has the spider plant and think of me every time she waters it.  She was heartbroken one early spring when a freak freeze came and froze the plant then  thawed it to a dripping mess.  She ripped everything off that was dead and all that was left was the roots,   A few weeks later it begin to grow again which really surprised her.

I read this in tears for that happened to me after we worked together over some huge hurt that hit my heart and filled it with disappointment that froze me for almost a year.  I read God's Word, but the only thing that got through to me during that frozen stage was Job 26 where God's says He hangs the earth on nothing.  I felt if I just hang on by my hurting finger nail to that truth He would bring me through it .

Only the love of Christ can mend a broken frozen heart.  After about a year I begin to thaw out because I begin to forgive God's way.  I could write story after story  about the people God brought my way to help grow me up in the Lord

.  I have not seen my friend, Debbie since 1999 but God knew who I needed to hear from today.  She and I got along great because we took the time to understand each others ways and respected each other. I am so grateful for relationships that have been for my good and even for those  that hurt at times but taught me much.

Vacation

Ace, Betty, our grandson, Logan and his other set of grandparents 

Vacation time is here.  We are enjoying some time off from our normal ministry travel to travel to Minnesota for a visit with our daughter and family.  Got to enjoy our senior grandson play his last baseball game...I and my daughter both screamed our lungs out, it was so fun.  A few days later we got to watch him graduate from high school.  He is working one of the hardest job this summer, working for a company that black tops parking lots, drive ways, etc.    His job is a sweeper and his only tool is a huge broom.  We are so proud of him, he will work 12 to 14 hour days, 7 days a week.  Then he heads off to University of Mn.  The picture is of him of course and his two set of grandparents.

I have not been writing much lately for my blog, kind of put it aside for some other writing.  Also wanted to finish a great book by Brant Hansen, titles Unoffendable.

One last  note, I am still having issue with some being able to comment on my post.  I was in the process of switching to Wordpress so that may have caused the issue.  There has been so much going on I have had to put working on the issue for other thing, so I am sorry if you are still having problems.  It will get fixed, I promise, check in once in a while to see.


 Oh to be a senior again, oh wait, I am senior, just not the kind that wears a red gown and black hat.