Repeat alert: I bought this book for my daughter over a year ago. It sit on her selves until this last month when my oldest granddaughter, freshly graduated from college picked it up to read. The effect it had on her is why I am reposting it. It moved her to tears. Why? This is my opinion, based on the fact I have read the book. The truth and honesty combined with the power of the Holy Spirit to convict causes a God-felt response in our soul since we all are too easily offended. If I was rich, this is the one book I would send to everyone in the world.
I really like to read book reviews, especially when the person
writing the review tells how the book affected them.
First of all, on a scale of 1-5, I give this a 5+. Second I had never heard of Brant Hensen but I am now reading my second book by him, Blessed are the Misfits.
Third, most books I read are people who are in ministry full time. But this guy is a radio host and a full-time Christian.
Fourth, what made me buy it was he writes on a subject that is dear to my heart and yet the subject that can destroy my life if I let it, anger.
Let me just give you a couple of the questions from the back of the book jacket, it might draw you in like it did me.
Isn't taking offense normal? Aren't we supposed to get offended?
Isn't anger at sin justifiable? If God gets mad, why can't we?
Brant Hansen asks a radical, freeing question. What if Christians were the most "unoffendable" people on the planet? And He offers a life-changing idea: "righteous anger" is a myth, and giving up our "right" to be offended can be one of the most healthy, simplifying, relaxing, refreshing, stress reliever, encouraging thing we can do.
Now here is how this book has helped me, but first let me say, he says nothing new or anything I did not already know. The pastor I got saved under always said, repetition is the best way to learn and I totally agree. I have read countless books on "anger", Hansen formula is not new, people have been writing about it since the beginning of writing things down. Ever since the first sin of unbelief when Eve was challenged if she really believe what God said about eating that one fruit, the results of it begin to manifest itself in anger, which led to wrath and a brother killing a brother, and the host of all sins.
Hansen puts it simply, I can choose to be offended. Right off the bat he lays it back on me, not the one who offended me, but little old me. We do not have the right to be angry, we are told to forgive. Both cannot exist together.
Personally I can remember believing I had every right to be angry, (offended) at how my Dad treated me, my mother, and two brothers growing up. Let me give you a little taste of the word he used to describe us, "pitiful". Start every day of your life with that word bouncing around in your head. He was a drunk, abusive father with no affection toward us or anyone for that matter. Don't you think I have the right to be angry about what he did to us?
Had God not come into my life and I believed He sent His Son to die for me I would still be living with that anger boiling inside me. That was just the start of a journey of learning forgiveness trumps anger any day. If I could trust God for my eternal salvation I had to trust Him for the whole package..
I love the way Hansen put God's spin on, "righteous anger". " I quote, "we like being angry. We don't like what caused the anger, to be sure; we just like thinking we're "got" something on someone. So and so did something wrong, something horribly wrong, and anger offers us a sense of moral superiority. Righteous anger is tricky, it turns out I tend to find Brent Hansen's anger more righteous than others anger, This is because I am so darn right" ( you have to read this book so you will get the full effect of this principle that God laid down from the beginning, it's the principal of GRACE. )
Back to how this book personally affected me. I have noticed my awareness is keener when I get angry. Hansen never says we will ever get to where we never get angry but when our thinking changes we can lessen the time it sticks in our mind. Like our pastor said, you cannot keep the birds from flying over your head but you can keep them from building a nest.
The nest of hurt from my Dad has affected me all my life. I try to deny it by saying I have forgiven him and I have but here is how it manifests itself in the present day. I transferred that hurt over my Dad to all men. Being a survivor from an abusive home is hard to get over. Trusting is a major problem for me. Let me define that more, trusting any man is a problem for me. Any man includes my husband. Learning that I was to be submissive to him even when I did not agree was like an electrical shock going through me. If I agree with him no problem. I tell him all the time we women understand submissive on a deeper level. I don't believe that as strong as I use to but if I am not careful I will use it as my default to not forgive him. I can, like everyone else, submit and not forgive at the same time. Forgiveness goes deeper then submission or so I think.
To choose and I praise Him for the gift of choice, to choose to not be offended is exactly what Christ did as they crucified Him and He said, Father forgive them, they know not what they do. The day I looked at my Dad, all broken, in a wheelchair, his mind gone and realized through God's power that He died for my Dad, and He shed the same amount of blood for him as He did for me was where my journey of shedding my anger, one step into truth at a time started.
If you looking for a book to challenge your heart over being offended, look no more. His book along with many others and sermons is what keeps me daily reminded this is a journey and it will not be over till Jesus calls me home.
Read a good book lately, could you leave the title in a comment please and if you wish a brief or long reason why you liked it, what did it help you with. Or if you are like me, did it make you want to give it to someone so it can help them also. I love to pass on good books to others. Hope you do also.
Morning, my Wise-hearted Betty. I learned more about you today through this post. I had no idea of your childhood. Thank you for sharing. This sounds like an excellent book. Much to glean from.
ReplyDeleteI love this line you wrote: "Anger is extraordinarily easy . It's our default setting. Love is difficult. Love is a miracle." I was in a situation yesterday at a prison, where I could feel the "default" trying to rear its ugly head. I knew I had a choice. I knew I was being watched for my reaction. I chose to "stay sweet".
Many, many years ago when I was brand new in The LORD I met an elderly pastor who lived up the block from me. He used to always say, "Drink Canaan juice. Stay sweet." So even though this situation persisted for two hours, I stayed sweet with a smile on my face. I was prayed up and walking in The Spirit and chose to let Abba's Light shine through. I guess I had drank my Canaan juice yesterday morning. Thank You, LORD.
Love that, drink canaan juice, stay sweet, great advice. We are at our daughters in Mn. and have been having discussions about anger. It seems like most of my childhood was filled with anger. None of us are without it, some just learn early how to handle it. I was 35 , salvation brought into my life a different way to handle it. It is a choice but I also realize one can be so hurting with emotional pain that anger has an easy road to travel. As I said, for me, forgiving the way Christ did on the cross was the key for dealing with it. Only a divine love can do that and He did it for us. That truth is bigger than any hurt I can go through here on earth. He is strong, we are weak and in my weakness I still can get angry if I dwell on things. Not so much my past anymore but new hurts. Think I will just drink some more Cannan juice so I can be sweet and forgive. You are precious to me Diane, the first one I felt a connection to when I started blogging. Someday my blog friend we are to become sight friends also.
DeleteRead this book several years ago. It was a good one. I used to listen to him on Air1 radio. I do have books to recommend but my reading lately has been more for my preaching now and future so I'm not sure what I would recommend would be what would be needed. I do have some in my reading pile that are more "practical."
ReplyDeleteIt was probably your site I seen it first. Then at a retreat I attended this March I seen it again at the church book store. I have sent it to several people because I think it is so refreshingly written about an old old subject, one that destroys. I am into his other book now which is just as good. Thankful for all the writing styles out there that gives us choices that fit where we are at that time. Blessing brother.
DeleteHolding onto anger has never been my default mode, fortunately, but this does sound like a compelling read, Betty. Thanks for the recommendation!
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
The book is about being offended which can cause anger. It's a good read, refreshing is how I felt after reading it.
DeleteOh, how I, too, have struggled in this area, dear sister! Deep hurts in childhood are SO hard to forgive and get over. Those wounds shape our lives and our mindset and worldview, and it takes a ton of grace to ever free us from the prisons they become to us. I SO appreciate you sharing this right now because I am really battling and I just emailed my brother today and said that I have to forgive every single day because I do NOT want the ones who have caused the hurt to come between me and my dear Lord. A few days before she died, my sweet Mom had spoken with some "church" people who had so deeply wounded her. She was just so kind and sweet to them and talking of even seeing them again, and I became so upset over it. "Mom, I don't know HOW you can talk to them like that!" She very calmly said to me, "Cheryl, we cannot afford to hold anything in our hearts against anyone." Whew, her convicting words have come back to my mind over and over lately, and I am SO trying to keep a forgiving spirit, in spite of the total wrong done by others. The other day, I was standing in our kitchen feeling the deep hurt in my husband and son as they are walking this same path with me, and the precious Holy Spirit came right into the room and whispered, "Vengeance is MINE. I will repay, saith the Lord." He reminded me of two things right there in that moment. 1. Vengeance is NOT mine. It belongs to HIM. 2. He WILL repay. We will all reap everything we sow, and we can count on God fulfilling His Word and not allowing anything to slip through the cracks. He sees all, and He will reward every man according to his works, so we can rest in that. In the meantime, it is a continual battle to keep in mind that "every man" includes us, and we will give account for our REactions to the actions of others. I need SO much help in all of this, and your post has really, really ministered to me today. Thank you for being so transparent with your struggles and letting me know I am not alone. Much love and gratitude to you, my friend.
ReplyDeleteLike your mother I too believe if we hold anger and bitterness in our heart it will hurt our relationship with the Lord. Not His relationship with us because that is based on Jesus dying on the cross for us. His can never be clouded toward us, His Son shed blood for it. But our relationship grid can get strangled with hurt and unforgiveness till we feel like we are not getting through to Him. I think so often we want the hurt removed before we forgive, yet God did not remove His Son from the pain of the cross or the Son did not use His divine power to stop His death. The super nature power is transferred to our hearts when we practice forgiveness. I learned I did not have to feel forgiveness to forgive. I put it into action just as your mother did, sweet story, that's for sharing that with me. Thank you for sharing with me your hurt and struggles. Here will remember the hurts and that is where the struggle lies. To remember and it not hurt means there is forgiveness working in our hearts. It's possible, just as possible as Christ saying from the cross, Father forgive them, they know not what they do.
ReplyDeleteDear Betty, what a tender, honest post, vulnerable yet strong in faith. More of our Christian sisters are carrying around hurt, frustration, fear, and being disrespected from our early years ... and without the tools to express themselves it comes out as anger, or sinks in as depression. I'm so glad you found a book that spoke to this ache.
ReplyDeleteBless you as you move forward and continue to impact other women ...
thanks Linda for the encouragement. I do believe what ever hurts we carry can makes us strong in the Lord with just a perspective change. It's kind of like getting shots for Yellow Fever and Typhoid. They can hurt and even make one sick but if you live in the jungle you will thankful you got them.
DeleteI love, love, love this book, too, Betty! So happy to see you liked it as well. And you're right--it's not really anything new, but it's such a great reminder to live unoffended. I've re-read it a few times already and will likely re-read it again in the future.
ReplyDeleteIt is one of those read more then once books. We are in Mn. with our daughter and family. Her husband is a truck driver, going to get him the audio book and my daughter the holding kind book. I have already told so many people about it, going to send our pastor one. Maybe it was your site I seen it one. I started his second book this week. Blessed are the Misfits. Blessings sister.
ReplyDelete"a full time Christian" - that's a test!
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ReplyDeleteI purchased the book upon your re-post today. Already started reading it! Thank you, my wise-hearted friend!
ReplyDeleteI will purchase this book. The title let's me know it must be a very practical and needed book for anyone.
ReplyDelete