Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Filler of Holes

 Recently I was viewing posts I had worked on but never finished.  Came acoss this short testemony of what led me to salvation.   The process of God bringing me to salvation was long and sometimes very painful.  How grateful I am He does not give up on us.   


This child would make it!    

 Laying quiet and perfectly still, I felt a gentle flutter, sort of a soft thumping inside me. After 12 years of marriage and 6 miscarriages later, life was growing in me and making himself or herself known. I simply got lost in the wonder of being pregnant: morning sickness, losing the waist line, every poke of an arm, leg of his or her little rump, swollen feet and those chocolate ice cream cravings in the middle of the night were welcomed.      

Crazy as this sounds, I found myself wishing it lasting longer then nine months. For the first time I felt almost complete.  Yet somewhere deep inside me a question started forming.   

 What happen to those six babies I lost?????

 Months later, holding our sweet daughter, the same nagging question took root in my mind and grew every time I held and smelled her sweetness.  It started me on a search created to forever change my life.    

 (And search I did too....loads of self help books, (no internet back then) and countless opinions from my friends and family left me mostly confused and not as happy as I should have been for someone who just had their first child.  Everything I ever dreamed had come my way - a husband with a good job, a house and a darling little red headed girl, Tara Jo. To add to our goodness we had a son Jared 4 years later after another miscarriage. 

  Soooo why did I still sense a huge hole inside of me? 

 That hole had been there all my life really. As a young child I can remember dwelling on that hole and feeling my self shrink into the nothingness of it till there was no more Betty. If I disappeared into the hole would anyone even miss me?    Thinking I could escape that hole, I tried to outrun it and got married at seventeen. I also tried some of those self help tips which brought some outward changes, but that question returned often leaving me feeling guilty for not being content with the good I had. 

 Until I bought a bible from one of my bookclubs.  

 Being an avid reader I tackled the Bible just like any other book, from the beginning.  Nothing could have prepared me for the effect it would have on me.    Power and light poured out of the words on those thin parchment pages.  My hole became smaller and smaller till it disappeared.  But Betty did not disappear.    I had found the “filler of holes” in those pages.     Oct of 1980 my search ended as I trusted Jesus death, buriel and resurrection for my salvation. 

 Oh, one more note, I found the  answer to my question in the bible...those seven children are in heaven.  

             When did God fill your hole? 


  1. That's an awesome testimony! And how fulfilling it.must be for your wondering and doubting heart to be answered by His truth! It's awesome when people who reached the dead end of their life' s roads choose to seek that road He gives...the road that leads to His redemption... Blessings to you sister and your post reminded me of His love and faithfulness...

  2. Thanks for sharing your testimony Betty. it is cool for me to hear how others came to know Jesus. I was 8 but knew very little. The pastor spent no time teaching me. It was a time to get wet and to be able to eat communion. :) I was in college when I really gave my heart to Jesus. It has been an ongoing adventure ever since.

  3. Rosel...thanks for stopping by. Hope all is well and you are enjoying a little down time. your post is always a testemony of His love and faithfulness.

  4. Bill...it is an adventure isn't it, one that does not disappoint us for He is our adventure. I was 35 when I got saved, knew for sure what did not work in life, had tried a lot by that age. I had never been in awe of anyone except Jesus and still am. Blessing brother.
    By the way finished, Love Works. great book, hoping my son will read it.

  5. Awesome post, Betty. God called and directed your life and now you have a wonderful heart and legacy... and no hole.

    I had a hole that even when I knew the truth I wouldn't allow God to fill in. I used that free will to try to fill the hole with the world and all it's deceitful misgivings.

    It took me long time to come to allow that hole to filled in with my Father the way He designed it, but He did... and a flower grows where utter destruction left that hole...

    Thanks for sharing that life changing story. We can't outrun God...

  6. Floyd...so very glad you finally grab onto His truths. Yes we can never run from God even when we try. You give me hope for our son...he is still running but not as fast as he was praise the Lord. Blessings brother.

  7. Beautiful testimony of God's love! Thank you for sharing. God has filled several holes in my life...loosing three babies and loosing my father to name a few. They are all in heaven now and someday I will get to see them again!
    Praise God!!

  8. Oh my! This is a very strong and heartwarming testimony. God is really good. He filled my empty places too and made me whole. I share also God's words and what he imparts to me in my other blog" willyouhearfromme.blogspot.com.
    Have a blessed day sister:)

  9. I received Jesus when I was 9 years old, and have served him all my life. There was some teen age rebellion and mischief but never fully entering into a life of sin. Those 7 babies, will be grown up in heaven. They will meet you at the gate and you wil recognize each one. My opinion is that we will all be around 33 years old in heaven, the age Jesus was when he died and rose again. Just my opinion, but it does sound reasonable. Thank you for sharing at "Tell Me a Story."

  10. Hazel 33 year old would be a great age to be for eternity.

    you will have many jewels in your crown to lay at His feet. Blessings my friend.

  11. Oh, Betty, the heartache of losing all those children! And one day, precious Betty, you will be reunited with them.

    What a powerful testimony for the FIller of Holes! Thank you for sharing this portion of your life.

    I also had miscarriages - two. One day I'll tell you my Mother's Day testimony about them.

  12. Betty, this was a beautiful testimony. Though I feel bad for the pain that you experienced, I was so touched by your honesty. And yes, I agree, only God can fill that empty hole inside of us. I was only 3 years old when I became a believer, but I can truly say that God has spent my lifetime filling and re-filling the emptiness in my heart. He is so faithful!

    One of my best friend's daughter just had a miscarriage last week. We are all greatly consoled by the fact that Jesus holds that child in His hands, and sees him/her face to face.


    (p.s. Thanks for your thoughtful comment on my blog today. I so appreciate it).

  13. Welcome TC...oh you too know the hurt of losing babies...thanks God He has a place for them in heaven. Maybe our wee ones are playing together in heaven. No scripture to back that up but it is a nice thought. Blessings my sister.

  14. Joy your blog and replies always express you name. Thanks for visiting this simple woman blog.

  15. Oh Diane...your heart is so tender. Pray all is well for you. Blessings

  16. Sharon what a great testemony of knowing Jesus when you were so young. How you have been blessed with such a Godly heritage and you share it well on your blog. Blessings.

  17. This was lovely. I am unendingly fascinated over the ways and things God's uses to call us to Him.

  18. Me too Elizabeth and every believers testemony is prcious to our Lord, He loves for us to tell it. Blessings

  19. I loved this and how He drew you, Betty. And how you described Him .. the Filler of Holes. So perfect! Thank you and God bless you for sharing this!

  20. Debbie, thanks for stopping by. I love to read testemonies too...encourges me in my knowledge God does care about every single person. It truth lived out when you hear how many different ways He others. Glad he drew you also. That makes us sisters in the Lord.