Contentment comes when we totally give up trying to control whatever circumstances or people we find ourselves involved with. Control is easier seen when someone tries to control me or others through me. When someone does that to me it frustrates me to no end. Which means I frustrate others when I do it to them. Control is a quick way to drive others away from us which is the last thing I want to do.
Some ladies and I are studying "contentment", trusting God, allowing His sovereign to rule in our life. Our goal is to come to a deeper understanding of His ways are better then our ways. There is a set of "never's" we have gleamed from our study which will be our daily guideline.
Philippines 4:11-13 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungrey, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength
Never allow yourself to complain about anything...not even the weather.
Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
Never compare your lot with another's.
Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
Never dwell on tomorrows..remember that tomorrow is God's not yours.
Seems like an impossible list to accomplish, doesn't it?
(From the book: Calm My Anxious Heart)
One of the questions in our first study was: Do you think most women try to control or manipulate people and circumstances? If yes, why?.....I like the answer one woman gave, yes because we are born to be care givers. Hummmmm....What do you think? Men, I welcome your take on this question too.
Even in a small little girl there is the desire to nurture and love a baby even if it is a doll. Woman naturally have a "mother instinct." Call it leadership, or control, or an "In charge person."
ReplyDeleteIt is a good thing and should be used with tenderness not harshness. Thank you for sharing at "Tell Me a Story."
Some might call it nagging...I'm just saying. LOL. this is not limited to just women. Men can get that way also. Contentment is a slippery slope since we are "conditioned" to want.
ReplyDeleteHazel, thats good. Our "mother instinct" needs lots of tenderness and wisdom and not harshness. Those mother instinct never leaves us but must be tempered with the verse below.
ReplyDeleteThe verse comes to me in James...be swift to hear and slow to speak...
Thanks for your comment.
Thanks Bill for your courage in commenting on the question. You are right too, nagging is not what God had in mind when He put the need to be a care giver in us women. God put into men the need to protect. Like a caregiven when in the flesh is discontentment.
ReplyDeleteif it is for God, we are projecting His image in all we do, say, act - For His glory, uplifting, love. If it is for self- it will only cause division. Thanks for allowing Him to use you to spread His Words!
ReplyDeleteHi Betty,
ReplyDeleteI wrestle with being controlling, sadly, but I'm working on it. Talking about it, recognizing it, and asking God's help in it is huge!
Re your comment on my post "Slip Into Some Quiet," tea, crockpot roasts, blogging and Bible study.... ahhh. :)
Thanks for the glimpse into your Sunday.
Jennifer Dougan
www.jenniferdougan.com
Jennifer, love your honesty...I too am a work in progress in the controlling area. It is amazing to me how much freedom I feel when I do let go and let God as they say. And I have to admit I try to control less and less, wow maybe I am learning. Thanks for you comment.
ReplyDeleteDeby...thanks for visiting my site...I will be back to see what God is doing in your life. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone tries to get their way in the flesh. I even do it in traffic! How pathetic is that? As we get older and come up with a little wisdom I think some of us get worse. We know truth and get impatient with others when they don't listen.... just like we did...
ReplyDeleteYou are so right Floyd...we want so badly to impart our wisdom on others who need it. Wait...is that controlling...thanks brother.
ReplyDeleteA great verse, and something to strive for. Thanks for your visit to my blog. Blessings ~
ReplyDeleteThanks Cathy for visiting my site...loved the song on yours. Will return for another visit soon.
ReplyDeleteBetty! Just wanted to pop over and say Thanks for stopping by and commenting. :-) It is always nice to meet another woman who blogs...especially one who Loves the Lord. I believe contentment comes from arriving at the point that IN Christ, we HAVE ALL WE NEED. And Gratitude really does arise out of a heart that comes to rest in that, and not RESIST. It's an ongoing struggle in this world for sure. Having a Marine who deals with such extreme conditions and circumstances has SO affected me in my DO NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT ANYTHING area of life. **I believe that women do try to manipulate and control people and circumstances, and believe it goes all the way back to the Curse, spoken by the mouth of God,"thy desire will be for thy husband" and it has been an ongoing battle EVER SINCE!!! In the original language, that meant that she would answer to him, submit to his rule now..as God wanted it, and being an accountability of The Fall, I believe she has kicked against it. And our society - since women's liberation movement was birthed has only encouraged and coddled that attitude. Truly a woman must submit her heart to God in order to lovingly and correctly WIN the battle to not manipulate and want to control her life circumstances. (and her man will be happier for it!!!) Thanks for the good read Betty!!! Hugs to a bloggy sis.
ReplyDeleteThanks Julie for your wise thoughts on my post. The bible study met again last night each with a story on how the enemy of our soul worked to cause discontentment in their lives. He is all we need, He see the bigger picture in what ever circumstance we find ourselves in. Blessing sister.
ReplyDeleteI'd fit right in to this group of women. I confess I try to control God. Today I read how Moses went up to the mountain and waited a whole week for God to even speak to him. My eyes opened big and I'm hearing myself saying "Your will, Lord" and not so much my meager comprehension of the thing!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI like the list of never's. That really helps me!
If we can learn to trust what Jesus is doing in our lives, and learn to see Him in all of the events of our lives, we'd have those "nevers" beat.
ReplyDeleteI personally do not do well with a list of never dos. I tend to get focused on the list and forget that it is all about the work of God's grace, and that it's all about Jesus.
Thanks Mary for your honesty in your comment. My study being content and the ways it manifest itself as well as being discontent has helped me a lot. It has given me goals that are reachable BECAUSE He says I can do all thing through Him. Blessings my sister.
ReplyDeleteRehoboth, thanks for visiting my site. Appreicate all comments given on the subjest. One way God teaches me is of course through others. You are so right about we will walk that list when we focus on Him and Him alone and not ourselves. We ladies are learning so much through this study and ask God to give us the courage to walk what we have learned. Blessings
ReplyDeleteWomen for the most part are "responders". If a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the Church....I don't think their response would be that of control.
ReplyDeleteAlso..."Never allow yourself to complain about anything...not even the weather". 2 Corinthians 5:2 says..."For in this we "groan", earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven". This old body of mine is wearing out. Paul says we groan in this house...and I'm going to groan while I am in this old house of mine:-)
Ike thanks for visiting my site. The ladies in the bible study had this comment after reading those "nevers". We will just have to be silent. I do believe though groaning and complaining are two different things. I tend to groan a lot too as the years have taken a toll on this frail body...I don't like all that goes with getting older but am thankful for the little wisdom I have learned along the way, thankful God love to use even the frailest of bodies. Blessing.
ReplyDeleteIke, I could not get onto your blog, is there a trick to it?
ReplyDeleteBloodtippedears.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteI like what Ike said about women being responders.
ReplyDeleteI know God designed women to be loved and we to respect the husband. If all is in order then their will be no control and no complaints. But this ailing world has another say.... plans are tumbled and jumbled.
So we need more of Him to understand this and stay according to the original plan, which is always the best for us.
I believe too in the idea that women are born care-givers and we just love to give everything to our loved-ones in our capacity and more, which makes us easy target to the wiles of the enemy.... making us controllers. I did fall so many times because of this and thanks be to Jesus, when we draw close to Him and abide by Him and trust in Him.... we can become content but not complacent.
I miss this, Betty, I really do.
Go for the Word, girls! I wish I could be there with you and learn from your heart and minds.
YOU'RE BACK...HAVE SURELY MISSED YOU.
ReplyDeleteYou have spoken the heart of this post...we need God's help to discern when our care given ability slips over to controlling. I had a major slip this past weekend...my dear husband was the target of my controlling nature, it was not pretty. Conviction came, rependance came and forgiveness came. The enemy of our sould lost. Thanks Loita for your shared wisdom...