Saturday, May 16, 2020

Cause and Effects



How does one handle a college graduation that has been cancelled? Four whole years and no climactic ending, no throwing caps in the air, no parties, no recognition for all the hard work you did. No hearing your name called for being a four-year honor roll student.  No closure or so it seems and on top of that, the crisis still goes on.  


I have not written much on this latest crisis on Facebook or my blog just because life has been busy for me. Not that it hasn't affected me, it has, but I like to search issues out before spilling my emotions.  So below is a little research I found which has helped me.  
How do different experts define a crisis?  A number of different approaches and definitions exist.  Many focus on how a person deals with the event rather than with the event itself. 
    "People are in a state of crisis when they face an obstacle to important life goals---and obstacle that is, for a time, insurmountable by the use of customary methods of problem-solving." (Caplan)
     "...an upset in equilibrium at the failure of one's traditional problems-solving approach which results in disorganization, hopelessness, sadness, confusion, and panic."  (Lillibridge and Klukken)
     "...crisis is a perception or experience of an event or situation as an intolerable difficulty that exceeds the person's current resources and coping mechanisms."  (James and Gilliland)
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The one word that came to my mind as I read the experts definitions is, "control."  So, my non-expert definition of crisis is....anything that I cannot control.  Now, that could be the store being out of chocolate ice cream if I am craving it. Or if the village next to us in Papua New Guinea is being burned by men who want the villages gone.  Or not being able to get my hair cut.  Or,  mountains in Bolivia we had to drive over to get to a city had a mudslide.  Or not being able to drive a new car you want to buy.  Or riots in the streets of Santa Cruz, Bolivia and the students are beating on the cab you are riding in.  Or not being able to work due to my workplace not being essential.  Or having to stay at home while they take your loved one to the hospital with a possible heart attack.  Or my number one granddaughter not having a ceremony after four years of college.  
Trust me, I do not mean to make light of all the things I named or the ones I did not or whatever was important to you.  There is a cause and effect to any crisis, small or large, ones caused by others or yourself, makes no difference, control is the core.  We respond when we lose control.  
In the last few months, like you, I have heard and seen some bad responses and praised God for some good ones too.  Hate the bad responses, love the good ones.  I want to be counted as being a good responder even if I am crying inside because I cannot control life.   Thats where self-discipline comes in.  What good does it do to have a fit, or meltdown as I call my fits.  Meltdown sounds so much softer, don't you think?  If you have gotten through this last few months without a meltdown, pat yourself on the back.    I have not, so, no pat on the back for me. 
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A little bit more research I have picked up that has been a help concerning different kinds of crises.
Developmental crises occur as part of the process of growing and developing through various periods of life. Sometimes a crisis is a predictable part of the life cycle, such as the crises described in Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development.
Situational crises are sudden and unexpected, such as accidents and natural disasters. Getting in a car accident, experiencing a flood or earthquake, or being the victim of a crime are just a few types of situational crises.
Existential crises are inner conflicts related to things such as life purpose, direction, and spirituality. 
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What made me want to write this post was listening and watching my number one granddaughter who just graduated from college.  She finished her courses at home and even worked her college job at home.  She got up every morning, dressed, got ready for class, walked over to her grandma's to a room she set up upstairs.  There she had her online classes, wrote her final papers, did her telephoning job.  She did go back over to the college and got the rest of her stuff, and saw friends and teachers.  She loved college and worked hard to be productive.  She now is in the process of filling out job applications for the field she wants to go into.  All during a crisis she has no control over.  Yet, she has stayed sweet, helped others, increased her reading, and we have had several great discussions.  The effect I see in her is trusting the Lord more than she ever did.  I am sure you have seen this in others too, it's that good response and we all have a choice on our response in a crisis that goes on and on no matter our age or station in life.  
Crisis is real, whether it developmental, situational, or existential, crisis is as old as time.  But so is control and when the two clash, watch out, our true colors will show.  
Let me introduce you to our grand daughter, Scarlett Rose Sutton,  2020 graduate of Concordia College, Honor Student.  We are proud of her achievement in college but more proud of how she has grown into a courageous wise hearted woman.  




20 comments:

  1. Congratulations to your granddaughter! She is so pretty. I love the wildflowers background of the picture, too. It is so incredibly sad that she, along with so many others, will have no official graduation. I have never seen such a time in our world as this. May God have mercy on us all.

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    1. Dear Cheryl, that wildflower picture is my favorite of Scarlett. For us and especially for the young we are certainly living in such a time for our faith to grow in Him. Scarlett has been discouraged the last couple day after putting in application after application for jobs and nothing yet has opened up. It's times such as these I want to play the lottery and try and win money to pay her school loan off. that would not be a good testimony for her and a bad one for our Lord too. He will bring what she needs in His time, His way and then we will give testimony of Him. Blessing my sweet sister in the Lord.

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  2. Interesting. My granddaughter is in a simular situation only she is graduating com high school.💖

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    1. It's tough for kids right now but I believe they will come through all this with a different outlook on life. Their perception will become wiser if they depend upon the Lord. thanks you for visiting my blog.

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  3. As the pastor of a small church (less than 200) in a small town, it pains me to see the students denied their walk. However, by a unanimous decision the school board decided to have the graduation in July with the students being honored in a full fledged graduation. It is sad our lives have been so interrupted but so glad to hear Scarlett maintained a sweet disposition and attitude. She will be prepared for what is to come. Nice post Betty.

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    1. Hello Bill, That is great the school board are going to let the students have some kind of graduation. Our Scarlett was raised in the jungle of Papua New Guinea till she was in 10 grade so she has experienced lots of things to trust the Lord for. She does not panic but is matter of fact about most things because life is full of things one cannot change. she wants to go to bible school but first wants to pay her college debt off first. It would not take her long when she gets a job s she only has one loan to pay off. due to grades and grants and her school job she ended up not owing much but believes in being debt free before taking on more debt, which we are glad. It will be interesting to watch how God works things our for her. Blessings brother.

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  4. Thankful to know that the Lord is in control, however they seem to escape man's control.
    https://dcbverse.blogspot.com/2020/03/

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    1. Thanks David for visiting my blog, keep my grand daughter in your prayers please.

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  5. Congratulations to your beautiful granddaughter, Betty! I'd say she's handled this crisis with poise and determination, and I know you are so proud of her, as well you should be. Some things are out of our control, as is this virus, but we can depend upon the One who is always in control, all the time.
    Blessings!

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    1. I am asking folks to pray for her Martha, she would love to get a job in the field she went to college for and after her loans which are small are paid off, she wants to go to Bible School. A lot of her classmates are struggling to get jobs. thankful she has only one loan to pay off due to all the grants and help she got for her grades. She along with many college grads are facing the same issues. keep her in your prayers.

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  6. Congratulations to your granddaughter sister Betty! That's awesome that despite the sudden change, she was able to adapt. I believe as believers, it helps to know that only the Lord doesn't change. So when things like this pandemic occurs, He helps those who trust in Him to overcome. Wishing her all the best wherever the Lord plants her. May you also remain strong in the Lord's mighty power!

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  7. It's encouraging for me to read how others in other countries are trusting the same God I trust in the USA for our daily lives. Every day our grand daughter applies for jobs online, so far nothing is turning up and I know she is getting discouraged. She has talked about going to Bible school but wanted to work and pay her college loans off first. She owes very little due to getting so much help due to her grades. I have ask the Lord to bless us so we could pay her small loan off. The Ethnos360 formerly New Tribes Bible school is one you can work in the afternoons and come out debt free. She has such a tender spirit for the Lord. Could I enlist prayer from you on her behalf? Thanks you.

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  8. Congrats to your beautiful granddaughter, friend!

    And yes, I join you in desiring to be a wise responder. Only by His grace will I meet that goal ...

    Bless you ...

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  9. I just don't know is a wise response Linda, one I need to use more often actually. I don't like being around people who think they know everything and I hate it when I hear myself respond as if I do. One of those daily things I need to work on more. thanks for the post with a timely reminder.

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  10. Such a precious tribute to your granddaughter! I have a niece graduating this year, and it has been quite an unusual year for her. Praying for all of the graduates, what a difficult world they are entering. May the Lord be with your precious granddaughter! Much love to you :)

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    1. I am thinking the graduates this year may learn some skills of coping in a crisis. It seems the best lessons are learned during the hard times.

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  11. What a beautiful post, filled with wisdom and hope. The way you worded how it feels when control is lost is very relatable to me, and during this time when so much is uncertain, I think you hit on exactly the right points. Thank you for encouraging me ♥ I hope all the best for you and your family! May the Lord bless you all.

    -T

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    1. thanks for visiting my site and commenting words of encouragement Tane. Despite this health crisis that affect people reasoning and just plain common sense we are doing well. I believe some good things will come out of all this that will help us in the future.

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  12. Congratulations to Scarlett! You write about her winner attitude, and I can imagine she will succeed at anything with that ability to be flexible.

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    1. Right now she is a little discouraged. She keeps applying for jobs in the field she went to school for but no response so she is looking for any job so she can start paying off her loans. The situation has caused her to be interested in going to bible school which is never a wrong move at any time. I would ask you to pray for her. No one expected to have to deal with the fall out from a shut down country. Hope all is well at your place Mary.

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