Ten days into the New Year I am thinking, maybe I am more like a Turtle than a Rabbit. Thoughts of reading through the bible this next year has brought no results, yet! I mean I could catch up or just jump in on that day, the way I do my daily devotional read when I miss a day or two or a week or two. I mark my devotional book with the day I read that section with the date. Example, New Morning Mercies is my daily devotional book and the days I read it I write the year in the corner. The last time I read page January 10 was 2020 so I missed reading it in 2021.
Early in my walk with God I somehow thought life was a race and we either grow like a turtle or a rabbit. My personality is like a rabbit and I grew fast those first few years. The church we were in was a working church, you work out your faith by doing, teaching, working in nursery, work a bus route bringing people, kids mostly to church to Sunday school and children church, giving, witnessing, etc. My husband and I were involved all the time in the doings of the church. But, I am grateful that doing was part of my foundation of how much God loved me. Not only did He say He would die for my sins, He actually did it.
As I have aged, those doing years have decreased and changed through the years. I grow more like a turtle now. I have time to dig deep into the Word and and research the meanings I know I missed when I was a young child of God. It has not been easy to go from a rabbit to a turtle but it's the season of my life.
I am not racing now, I am pacing myself, slowing things down and realizing the guilt that comes from that is not from the Lord. Oh, I know, some are still going at rabbit pace and if I was into comparing and not being content I would keep looking back to what we use to do. The use to do days are over, and I am enjoying the new mercies that my devotional books is all about. Below is something I read recently that has helped me to deal with it when I fail to others expectations of me.
Guilt, The Crippling Emotion
Guilt. Rarely has one small word been so widely misunderstood. Guilt is frequently viewed as a virtue, as a high sense of responsibility and morality. The truth, however, is that guilt is the greatest destroyer of emotional energy. It leaves you feeling immobilized in the present by something that has already occurred.
Now don’t misunderstand me: Human beings need to have a conscience. According to Webster’s Third Dictionary a conscience is “the sense of right or wrong within the individual.” Without a conscience we would have no compunction about hurting one another, and the world would be less safe. When your conscience tells you that you have done something wrong, it is important to face it, make amends and learn from your mistake. Staying consumed with guilt, however, will keep you from moving forward in a positive and productive way.
I still have not started my bible reading for this year. But, I refuse to live in guilt since I know God does not love me because of how much I read my bible or what bible I read, NOTHING can separate me from the love of God. Now that is pure grace living.
How was your start to the new year.