Monday, October 11, 2021




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I am into my 74th year by tenth months, two
weeks, and a few days day so there is a lot of, "day after's" , that have passed. Which is why I like this quote because it's so easy to lose sight of a day after in the middle of a struggle.


Just the reminder of Sept 11th, 2001, that horrible day is a good example to

think about how many mornings we have woke up since that fateful day. Every day, in the last 20 years we have woke up to a new day. Some of those days are filled with the memories of horrible events but some of those days are been good ones too.

There was time I did not think I would survive the abusive home I grew up in. Thank God there was a day after for that part of my life. God has healed those emotional wounds and used them to help others.

Getting married and having children was the goal of my life. It took 12 years of marriage and 6 miscarriages to have our first child.

Some of us think holding on to our loss makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go. – Herman Hesse

Remembering and holding on are two different ways of handling the pain of loss. Listening and reading testimony after testimony from those who lost someone on 9/11 was encouraging in this way. Most told of how they had went on with life, changed into a new normal. Of course they would wish those they lost back, wished that awful day did not happen. Of course. They're days after, became something to thank God for, a day to be more loving, more aware of others, tp became focus in searching for a purpose for the rest of our days. There is a progression to loss and grief.

The bible is clear, there is a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance, and a time to die. Life goes on no matter how we deal with the pain. Our days when we mourned are some of the most teachable times we have. Our hearts are raw from the pain and we just want it to go away, for things to go back to what was before the hurt hit. If we live in the day our pain started and do not travel to the day after we will be miserable and those around us miserable too.

Loss and grief is a normal part of life and there is lots of helps from those who have lived past their pain. Loss escapes no one. Everyone faces some kind of loss as they journey through this world. There is no loss so great that God cannot reach and help us with.

en Someone You Love is Dying by Kopp, R. & Sorenson, S. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan (1985).

When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Kushner, Harold Schocken Books (1981).

Learning to Say Good-bye: When a Parent Dies by LeShan, Eda New York: Avon (1988).

Remembering with Love: Messages of Hope for the First Year of Grieving and Beyond. by Levang, E. & Ilse, S. Minneapolis, MN: Deaconess Press (1992).

Mind over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think by D. Greenberger & C.A. Padesky (New York: The Guilford Press, 1995).

Seven Choices: Taking the Steps to a New Life after Losing Someone You Love by Neeld, E. New York: Delacorte (1992).

How to go on Living When Someone You Love Dies by Rando, Therese New York: Bantam (1991).

Beyond grief: A Guide for Recovering From the Death of a Loved One. by Staudacher, C. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger (1987).

Necessary Losses by Viorst, Judith New York: Fawcett Gold Medal (1986).




12 comments:

  1. Some of the books you've mentioned here, Betty, would have helped me, I'm sure, when I lost my husband, John, in 1997. C. S. Lewis's book, "A Grief Observed," provided great comfort and guidance at that time in my life. I must admit, I wasn't really able to understand why God took John at such a young age, but understanding is not what God wants. He wants us to trust in Him. I know I've learned to do just that.
    Blessings!

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    1. Martha, I love your statement, "understanding is not what God wants, He wants us to trust in Him." Those few words cover every trial one could go through. Thanks for sharing.

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  2. God has been my strength, my provider, my healer, my comforter since He called my dear husband home in Dec. 2012. My relationship with Jesus is stronger than ever, and I pray to continue to grow and age gracefully trusting in Him each new day He blesses me with. ~ FlowerLady

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    1. You too have learned to see God in the loss and when we see God we know He will carry us through any loss. Thanks Lorraine for sharing this.

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  3. Thank you Rajani for commenting on my post. Just read your wise words on your post. Blessings.

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  4. I've had two miscarriages and its not anything I'd wish on anyone. October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and a friend just recently had a miscarriage. Sometimes I just don't know why these things happen.

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    1. I lost six before we had our daughter and then one more and then we had a son. The doctors encouraged me to quit trying and I did. There was a lot of emotional pain in those loss of children. Because I was not a Christian I never did blame God. The doctors helped me by telling those babies I lost would have been physically and mentally deformed had they been born. When I finally had our daughter I started to questions where those babies went too so I bought an easy to read bible and found the answers for my questions. I love telling people I have 7 children in heaven and two here on earth. God has used those hard years to give me many times to minister to those who have sufferer loss.

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    2. so sorry for your loss Regina. Thank you for sharing that with me, it helps at times to be open about our grieving over a loss.

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  5. I'd suggest a couple of books which take a more "Godly" approach to grief. Hope Always by Sleeth. I also found Strength at the Broken Places by C. Greg Long a good one.

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  6. Thanks Bill for your add of resources. I have heard of the one, Strength at the Broken Places. I have so many friends who are sufferings loss, from loss of a child, husband, job, ministry, friends, home, you name it, most folks are dealing with some kind of loss. Hope all is well at your place.

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  7. Wow, this was just profound! Such good resources and words of wisdom. Thank you!

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    1. Just listened to your song on your site. I am encouraged and inspired and ministered to by your post. Thank you Cheryl.

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