Kneeling Love

If you ask a man if he should kneel when proposing, they will probably say yes – but why? It’s likely for one of two reasons: either because tradition dictates that males propose with marriage on bended knee or because they want to express humility before their future wife. Some people feel as though a proposal by kneeling signifies more than just submission; rather, it shows respect, and an intent to put the bride before himself.  

Fifty seven years ago my husband ask me to marry him and he did not get down on one knee.  Honestly, I did not even think to ask him too.  In fact until recently I had not given it a thought. 

On 20th of Oct., our 57th anniversary,  I had surgery to repair my bladder. All went well.   Four  hours afterward the doctor declared it safe for me to go home and start recovery. I would see him in two days to get the catheter out.  Ok, I thought, I can do this. 

Had a good night, all was well until early afternoon that next day when I started to have intense pain.  From my experience of having several kidney stones I thought I was trying to pass one.  I developed a low grade fever and throwing up.  Back to the hospital where the surgery was done.  After a few test, x-rays they said I had a blockage but could not tell what it was from.  They tried to put a stint from my kidney to my bladder but it would not go.  Since they could do no more due to lack of personnel they sent me to Fargo, North Dakota, three hour ambulance ride.  

There they did same test, got same conclusions.  To keep me from losing the 30 percent of my kidney I have they put a tube into it to drain into a bag outside my body.  

Every since I started having kidney issue, I have dreaded this might happen to me someday.  The kidney is not repairable when it dies.   A transplant can be done if there is a donor and if the body will accept it.   What is left then is dialysis 3-5 times a week.  Back in December 2020 my kidneys shut down because of Covid. It was at that time I was told one of my kidneys was not working and only 30 person of the other one was.  So, you can see how the dread would build, the quest to keep that 30 percent going.  

Ok, enough about the medical background for this post.  

My husband has taken on the total responsibility of doing all it takes to keep the tube cleaned, put new bandages on the site of where the tube goes into my kidney, flushing the tube every other day.    To take a shower requires lots of work making sure the site keeps dry.  I was so weak when I first came home I could not even dress myself, he did that.  There is more to this but again enough is enough.     

 At one point in order to help me he had to get down on his knees.  I teased him that he did not even get on his knees to ask me to marry him.    I think I started crying somewhere after that as it hit me how much my husband cares for me.  He is so careful to make sure he gets it right and keeps me as healthy as he can.  

This post is not about how sick I am,  It's about how very hard times require a love that goes way beyond that knee he could taken when asking for marriage.  Way beyond even the vows we say, way beyond the romance, and intimacy that comes with marriage.  

This love I have been experiencing comes from a man who knows God loves him.  And whatever trials comes it has to go through that supernatural love.  It's the love Jesus had for us as He hung on the cross. That kind of love will give courage when needed to do the hard stuff. 

Psalm 95:6  Come, let us worship and bow down, let us kneel before the Lord our making. 

On the 18th I head back to hospital to see if the blockage is all gone and if I still need a tube or a stint or surgery.  Please pray.