We had planned a trip to visit two of our family members whose health is declining, hoping to see them before things grew worse. At the same time, three cousins planned a trip for the very same reason. Then, to our surprise and delight, our son and grandson decided to come secretly. That surprise alone was enough to make my heart full.
All of that resulted in the picture I posted — a table full of people gathered to eat, laugh, cry, tell stories, eat some more, and laugh again. For a little while, we were able to set aside the heaviness of what’s ahead and simply love on each other. It was a gift, a weekend none of us will forget. A little touch of heaven.
I waited until we were on our way home to post the picture on Facebook. I had no idea it would offend anyone. Some felt hurt that they weren’t invited. I tried to explain that it wasn’t a planned event — it just unfolded — but the more I explained, the worse it seemed to get. I’ll be honest: I’m not very good with people who get offended easily. Part of me wants to say, “Please, grow up… or at least ask kindly how it came about.”
But this situation made me stop and do a little heart‑searching of my own.
Is it wrong to have a small gathering without inviting the whole family? I don’t believe so. The family who hosted had every right to keep it small. And the two dear ones with health issues likely won’t remember who was or wasn’t there. The gathering was really for those closest to them — the ones who needed that time together.
I tried to explain the dynamics, the why, the who, the situation… but the offended became even more offended. So I finally decided to let it rest. No more explanations. No more trying to fix what can’t be fixed.
What I do know is this: love was shared, memories were made, and for a few precious hours, we were all held together by something far stronger than hurt feelings.
A few good quotes on being offended...
- People who wish to be offended will always find some occasion for taking offense." - David A. Bednar
- "Being offended has replaced baseball as our greatest national pastime." - Kim Hunt Harris
- "The feeling of being 'offended' is a warning indicator that is showing you where to look within yourself for unresolved issues." - Bryant H. McGill
- "Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it." - Anonymous
“This weekend reminded me that moments of grace are worth more than explanations.”
“I’m choosing to hold on to the laughter, the tears, and the love — not the misunderstandings.”
That's unfortunate that folks decided to stay offended over something that wasn't your fault. My late mama used say when people get overly offended is to pray for them. And what a lovely picture! May I ask which one is you?
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you faced a backlash for what was a serendipitous time filled with love and laughter, Betty. Being easily offended is a sign of insecurity in that person. Really sad when you have to deal with such in other family members. Blessings, my friend!
ReplyDeleteOh bless you, it is so hard to tiptoe around people's feelings sometimes. Perhaps those family members who are so offended will come to their senses and just be happy that y'all got together. Peace be with you! Thanks very much for visiting my blog!
ReplyDeletethat is why I have withdrew from trying to mend this. There is a lot of history connected to this and my picture stepped into that history that has never been addressed. thanks Kay for your kind words
DeleteI might have been sad I didn't get to come. My family is so small that I love every opportunity to see them. However, I probably wouldn't have said a word, and I would 'work my heart' to get over it. You have every right in the world to get together with who you want to and who you don't. Just giving you another opinion. Life is full of feelings and every one is so different. Sandie T
ReplyDeleteI have no doubt there are hurt feelings and a long history with a few of them that has never been addressed. My picture opened that wound but I know I can not fix it. So I am protecting my heart from further adding to the issues by trying to explain the reason for the get together and why it was the few. There is a reason for who was there and who was not, but it is not for me to explain. I just wanted to show off my kids that surprised us by being there. I am like you, I might have been hurt to not be invited but would not have commented in an accusing way. Everyone has the right to gather with anyone without having to invite everyone. It's been a reminder to listen to my husband cause he told me at one point to not post pictures. thanks for your thoughtful comment.
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