Friday, September 28, 2012

Grasp


Go....Yesterday evening started out filled with laughter and some tears as we grasp the few hours we had with our grandchildren.  All too soon it was time to take them back to their mother house.  Emmie wanted to stay all night, Austin just wanted his mommy. 

Divorce has put my grand children out of our grasp most of the time and brought an ache in our soul that I cover up with a smile. They are too young to understand why I try to grasp them so tight when it comes time for them to go. 

That normal family unit we  wanted for those Grand children is no longer there...divorce had ended that normal and brought a new normal to their lives.   One that brings fresh tear and prayers for the grace to be there for those sweet children.  So I grasp them in a huge huge, plant a kiss on their sweet face, speak positive words of love into their life and watch them leave my grasp.  They wave goodbye Grandma and Grandpa, see you next week.  Then I run into my heavenly Father arms for Him to grasp me tightly while I weep.  In His grasp I am covered with His love that gives me strength to live this new normal life.  Stop (sorry went over a 1/2 minute.

This post islinked to Five Minute Friday

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Monday, September 24, 2012

A Modern Shipwreaked Paul Named Chad


 
Chad Earl 
Paul found himself ship wreaked on the island of Malta (Acts 27:14-44) and God's hand stayed with him and the 275 persons who survived.  . We read the account and even though Paul was in chains God was not through with him yet.  
Such as this modern day account of a missionary in Papua New Guinea, Chad Earl.  Below is parts of the account told by Chad himself and his sister who pieced together the story from Chad.  This happened on Sept 19, 2012...told you it was modern. 
 
 I’ll start this little conversation by saying that I just got off the phone with my brother, Chad, and he told me he is a little taken-aback that everyone is making such a big deal of this.
“All I really did is float in the ocean all night.  There’s not really anything too amazing about that.” I think what my brother is really saying is that he is a little embarrassed by all the hype and  attention that his story is getting. He sees himself as very ordinary; and he truly is a simple man, a man that loves God, a man that loves to work, a man that loves people – and a man that consistently puts others before himself.  Even when no one else is looking.

So I thought I would attempt to write out his story for him – as he told it to our family the night after he was found, while we were all peppering him with questions. He was on a boat with a company called SOLWARA MERI, heading out to another island to begin 21 days of island-hopping People-Group-Assessment work.  His plan was to meet up with some national believers out there who would accompany him on his travels. The ocean was fine,  the sky was bright when they shoved off from Kokopo around 1:30pm.  There were a couple boats traveling together; he was on one of them with 7 other people. The rumor was that an hour or 2 into the trip, a big storm blew up. Chad said, “It wasn’t really a big storm … just wavy, bad seas most of the time.  The sea continued to get rougher; there was a big rain ahead in front of us, and we were getting wet from the waves for most of the trip.”  Soon, massive waves started to sweep over the sides of the boat. Chad said it all happened so fast … one minute they were jerking up and down on the waves; the next, an enormous wave swept over the front of the boat, and they immediately began to sink. “I couldn’t believe how fast it happened. Literally I think it was 15 seconds and the boat was under.”  People were thrown off and cargo was floating all around in the water. He quickly surfaced; noticed his shoes floating. Note that Chad is a man of few possessions – so these were his one good pair NIKE BROOKS tennis shoes that our bro-in-law sent him. He grabbed them and tied them to a plank on a pallet of floating wood. Just then he noticed the 3 women from the boat who were screaming and frantically grabbing at the top of the sinking boat, bobbing up and down in the rough ocean. He said, “I noticed the women before getting my shoes…that’s why I felt so bad that I took the time to grab the shoes when I couldn’t see them for a minute and thought they had drowned.”  Looking over, he had a sick feeling like, “Oh shoot! Here these women are sinking and I just spent time tying my shoes onto this pallet. That was so worthless of me.” He quickly swam over to help them. All thof is time, they knew another boat had been just in front of them and saw them go down. Chad’s thoughts were that surely this boat would come back and pick them up, and this would be no big deal. The other boat was also rocking on the fierce waves, and while it did drive back and circle around them; it did not pick anyone up.  It seems they feared the same fate.  Neither did the other boat think of throwing any floatation devices over the side to the 8 folks bouncing in the waves. The boat drove away, with intention to come back and help – but they never came back.

The seas got rougher; the sky got darker, but no one came back.

The boat driver, Febi, was a very helpful, assertive guy; he and Chad began to scramble to grab the cargo that was floating in the water.  They grabbed the red plastic gas tank and a pallet of wood that had been in the bottom of the boat. Then they drained the gas out of the tank by squeezing the little black squeeze bulb that is on outboard , we just slowly squeezed the gas out by pumping the bulb, so there’d just be air left in the tank and it would float better.”  The tank had a handle, so they used the shoelaces from Chad’s shoes to tie the tank in the center of the pallet.    “We couldn’t just unscrew the lid and dump it or we could have gotten water back into the tank , it wasn’t my idea. I just helped.”  All of this was done while being pounded by the waves and treading water.

The 3 women that were with them could not swim. These women sat on, clung to, and clawed at the red floating tank, each one kind of straddling the tank and the pallet of wood.  There was also a young boy, maybe 16 years old, who could swim but was not very helpful.  Chad and Febi hung on to the pallet and tried to kick the group toward shore. “We could see the shoreline far in the distance, but it was  really far away.  The sea was rough.” 

Backtrack: when the shipwreck happened, 2 of the men on the boat drifted away and began swimming for shore. They were picked up somewhere and made it to the Bom Village on the New Ireland Island, where they told the villagers that the rest of the crew was still out at sea. Ryan; Shelbi Webb and Madonna Yates, missionaries on that island, had called in around 7:15pm reporting Chad missing since his boat never showed up.  Around 11:00pm, Ryan called again to say that these 2 men had shown up and told the story of the 6 still in the ocean, clinging to a pallet. They said there were women, a child, and a white man.  Needless to say, that rumor of a white man and 5 nationals in the ocean gave all of us a glimmer of hope.  We hoped he had something to hang onto for the long, dark night.  We held that hope while still crying out to God to spare the lives of these people and give Chad strength to tread water all night.

Chad said he watched as the sky grew darker and realized no one was coming back for them. 

It gets dark in this country between 6:30 -7:00pm, and with no watch, no light, and no end in sight, the night in the sea felt pretty long. Chad said his head continually bobbed up and down, in and out of the water. He had one arm slung over the pallet some of the time, but they treaded water and kicked most of the time, trying to stay afloat.
Chad and the others saw another boat pass by at a distance and hoped to get its attention so it would come pick them up. He took off the white shirt he was wearing and threw it into the air, yelling for help. “We all did a lot of yelling for help.” No one saw them or heard them. “We saw the boat right after we had gotten all the gas out of the tank so threw the red tank in the air a couple times for the boat to see, but they didn’t see us. Then we tied the gas jug to the pallet and so I took my shirt off to use as a signal snaker. Febi thought he saw another boat way off in the distance a little later so he asked for my shirt to throw up…he tried to stand on the tip of the sinking boat and throw it but whatever boat he saw was way too far off to see us…” Then Chad tied his white shirt to the thick rope hanging off the front of the sunken boat that was still sticking out of the water vertically. They hoped someone would see it.

“I really need to work on my breath-holding skills,” Chad told me, “because we thought if we could unhook the motor from the bottom of the boat, perhaps we could flip it over and then we could all sit in it.” The motor on the back of the boat was holding the boat down into the sea. Chad held his breath and dove under. The first time he didn’t make it to the motor and had to come up for air. Imagine the adrenaline pumping and trying to dive down 21 feet or so in the ocean to try and unfasten an outboard motor on the back of a boat. The second time he swam under the sunken boat and touched the motor. The third plunge, he was able to touch the bolts on the motor but realized they were screwed on too tight and there was no way he could release them. Up he came, gasping for air and wishing there was another way. All this time the 3 women had intermittent periods of screaming and freaking out, and the boat driver along with Chad kept trying to calm them down. The driver kept saying, “Just relax. Just relax. We will get there soon. It will all be alright. We will be there soon. Relax.” Over and over he repeated these words, and that was a real morale booster for Chad. Febi also reassured the women, saying, “Hey, just think of it like we are goin’ for a swim…it’s no big deal. We’re just goin’ for a swim. They saw little flickering lights off in the distance and wondered if they were people’s flashlights. “I did a lot of yelling to try to get help, but it didn’t seem like anyone ever heard us.” 

At one point in the night, the laces came loose and they thought they had lost them; and the raft came apart. The women of course started panicking and were grasping and groping at the men, trying to use them as flotation devices. Chad said that a woman grabbed on to him and was pulling him down a little bit.  He is not sure if it was the same woman or another one who grabbed the Gumi rubber necklace (Chad has one on in the picture) that was around his neck and was using that to hold onto.   Chad grabbed the woman’s hand off his neck right away, but he started going under from the weight of this woman trying to hold onto him to survive.  In a matter of seconds, these thoughts flashed through his mind, “I knew these ladies were pulling me down. I couldn’t let them drown, but it kept flashing through my mind how a flayling person could cause a strong swimmer to drown by frantically hanging onto them and pushing them under. I had to think of an idea pretty fast, and I didn’t want to get myself in another position where the lady would grab me and not let go.  So I threw her off me … and then quickly grabbed her shirt in a bundle from behind her and balanced her on my knee to float. That way I could hold her up, but hold her away from me so I could still swim and she couldn’t grab onto me.  I was afraid she would keep pushing me under if she kept grabbing at me.”   He held onto her until she calmed down and could grab onto the gas tank again. As Chad was telling the story he said, “I don’t think I held onto her very long at all….this part is a little blurry.  I can’t remember  if I just let her go and went and got the gas tank and had her hold on to that or if she grabbed the pallet or if I just let her go real quick to start tying the jug off… honestly I am not 100% sure what happened at that point….”  This part of the night was frantic, blurry, and dark.

At this point they also had to try to fix the raft.  Chad remembered that he had a drawstring in his board shorts and quickly pulled that out. “I was so frustrated because it broke in half when I pulled it out.  I thought it would work, but it didn't … it broke into such small sections it was useless. I told Febi that and he said he had the shoelace…I guess he found it cause I had asked if it was still there when the jug came off and thought he said it was gone.  Then we snaked the tank and the pallets together again. Even that was tricky because the women kept freaking out and we were trying to get them to hold still and not put all their weight on the wood so we could get the thing balanced again. It got a little hairy there at one point in the night when they were all screaming and we were trying to talk them through it as we fixed the raft.”  Remember that the entire night’s conversation would not have been in English, but in Melanesian Pidgin, the local language of Papua New Guinea. The string was now gone from Chad’s shorts; he lost them as they floated away; he was now down to his under-armor.  The official statement released by NTM said he was left with only his shorts … but he was actually in nothing but his grey underwear.  He had thought a couple times earlier that he was glad he still had his wallet in his pocket with his license, cards, and “700 Kina of People-Group-Assessment money. It wasn’t even my money, so I feel bad that I lost it. But I didn’t even think about it when my shorts floated away. I didn’t realize it was even gone till later. It got pretty hairy there in the middle part of the night and I wasn’t thinking about much else.”

I asked Chad if he tried to pass the time singing or talking. He said he did try to sing a little bit and at one point he tried to ask the people some questions to see if they knew their eternal destiny. “But it just was not that kind of a situation where you could even have a decent conversation. The sea was rough; the waves were rocking us; you would hold your breath, go under, and then bob back up. You had to repeat yourself again and again because the guys’ heads would be under water often. So pretty soon I realized that conversation was not going to really work.  I prayed that God would make the night shorter. I prayed that the light would come quicker. The night did feel really long.”

And so they weathered the night that way. The 16-year-old kid that was with them kept trying to sit on the front of the raft, and when he would do that it would make the raft start to sink and the ladies fall off. This would throw them into complete panic and chaos again. “I think it would at times make the raft unbalanced when he would do that but the main reason was it would push the raft too far under for me to keep my hand on it and still keep my head out of the water, and keep the raft balanced without pushing it further underwater.” Chad kept telling the boy not to sit on there, to just hang onto the pallet to float. At a few points, “He just wouldn’t listen so I had to push him off the front and tell him to stay off it and just hang on.”

“The ladies’ teeth were chattering and I knew they were cold. I never did feel cold, but I was in the water moving the whole time and they were up on the raft.” The good thing about the waters in the South Pacific is that they are quite warm.  We asked Chad if he thought about sharks or anything like that. “It did cross my mind a couple times, but I just didn’t let my mind go there.”

He kept seeing these flashing lights that he thought were coming from the shoreline way in the distance. A few times he wondered if he was dreaming or if this was really happening.  Once or twice it crossed his mind that he could swim for the shore and he would probably make it, but he never even considered this thought. He stayed with the women and the other 2 at sea.  “It was dark, pitch black, dark skies with dark clouds, raining off and on.  I tried to open my mouth and catch some of the rainwater, but I would just get a mouthful of saltwater instead.  We kept trying to kick to shore. We tried to kick to the shoreline all night long, but the current was strong and we did not get anywhere.  The night did feel really long.”

The head of the Marine Pacific command on the phone with 100 marines ready to be mobilized.  All night long, so many folks worked and planned towards getting Chad and the others help.  The NTM doctor, nurse, pilot, and a search team formed in the middle of the night at our mission center and rallied at 4:00am so they could leave at daybreak.

At daybreak, boats launched … and you know the rest of the story. He was picked up by local villagers and they headed toward an aidpost on another island.  The guys in the rescue boat had to pull them all out of the water. Chad tried to get into the boat but couldn’t, so they pulled him in.  The boat driver, women, and other boy just c
All the while, there were hundreds of people that soon became thousands of people, who began rallying to pray. It started with calling our immediate family. There are 6 of us siblings currently spread across America and PNG and we, along with my mom and dad, and lots of friends, began rallying people to pray. Within hours the news was all over Facebook and the internet. Churches gathered to pray, school classes stopped to pray, little bands of believers all over the world came together to pray. We knew Chad and others were out at sea. We knew there was no rescue attempt being made until dawn. We knew that he would have to keep swimming for another 10 hours or so until daybreak. Missionaries, Ryan & Shelbi Webb and Madonna, at Bom Village, tried to rally the villagers to send out a search party that night, but a large squall wind had blown up and was gusting strongly toward shore. No one had good lights or equipment and the reality was that they probably feared for their lives as well with going out at night. Shelbi Webb reported, “We just kept going and never got any sleep that night; we just didn't want to leave him out there for the night; we wanted to do all that we could so that he knew we were doing absolutely everything. Ryan kept going village to village offering anything to get Chad that night; no boat drivers would go, so we knew we had to wait till daylight”. Ryan was able to set up a boat and gas and planned to leave at daybreak along with the villagers, to try to find Chad and the others.

Not too many people slept that night; everyone called upon the God who made the wind and the seas and those people, to please save them. Many, many phone calls were made; many people were awakened in the night including the US Embassy, the PNG Maritime service, ANY helicopter company within a decent range of the ocean in which they were lost; we even called a couple resorts on the coast and talked to the night manager to see if they had any search boats they could send out. Our bro-in-law & brothers contacted our cousin Nathaniel Brock, who is a US Marine.  
 Chad said they were all limp and could not think straight. They couldn’t walk.     The boat took them all to the shore of another island, and the people gave them coke and crackers.  They offloaded the national survivors to head to a nearby medical aidpost.  Chad told them he needed to go the village where the missionaries lived, and they took off that direction.  Missionary Ryan Webb came on the scene very shortly and put Chad into his boat, taking him back to his home on the Bom village island. As soon as Ryan got Chad into his boat, he placed a call to the NTM director, Keith Copley. We were standing in Keith’s house as he got this call.  There was a lot of background noise, but Ryan was yelling, “I have him! I have Chad in my boat! I can’t hear you because of the outboard motor, but he is here in my boat! We’re going to land!”  Let me tell you that rejoicing and tears took place in a big way.  We quickly began calling the family to let them know that Chad was alive. Bless Ryan & Shelbi Webb, Madonna Yates, and all those wonderful villagers at Bom & the surrounding villages!  So many people rallied to help. 

 
The NTM helicopter, with doctor onboard, picked Chad up at the Bom Village and took him to the mainland.  Chad doesn’t have any big injuries. He has chaffing on the insides of his arms from where he hung onto the pallet and the wood and saltwater rubbed at his arms. His legs are extremely stiff and sore from treading and kicking for so long. His eyes were red and bloodshot for a couple days and he has some bruises, but otherwise he is just fine.  The others that were lost, Febi, Cris, Rose, Olivia, and Grace are also okay.

 
I asked Chad what he was thinking during those hours in the sea. Was he afraid of dying? Did he think this would be the end? He said the thought went through his mind a few times.  “It did cross my mind. I thought, ‘Oh, maybe this will be how I go. Maybe this will be it for me.’  But I was content. I didn’t question why we were out there. We just were. You know, all my life I have struggled with doubt. But in those moments in the sea I didn’t have lots of questions. I knew my eternal destiny. I knew I was spending my life exactly the way I wanted to be spending it, doing something that mattered in God’s kingdom.  I didn’t have any regrets or wish that I was somewhere else, doing something else.”

(God is not through with Chad, there are more villages to survey, more missionaries to help move into a tribe without the gospel.  I (Betty) pray this has encouraged you to continue on with your walk with the Lord even if you find your self in your own sea of problems.   Reach out to  your lifeline, He will be there for you. )
 

 

 

 

Monday, September 10, 2012

Parasites and Krispy Kreme Donuts

The Anopheles mosquito (picture) abdomen is full of blood that will nourish her eggs, the female takes to the air.  Her next landing may be a dangerous one...for the human who receives her bite.  The female Anopheles mosquito is the only insect capable of carrying the human malaria parasite.  The parasite then travels to the liver---where they can lay dormant for as long as a year or up to even five years.   When the parasite mature, they leave the liver and infect your red blood cells. This is when the person typically develops malaria symptoms.  If an uninfected mosquito bites you at this point in the cycle, it will become infected with your malaria parasites and can be spread to the next person it bites. It's such a tiny little insect...but it carries a deadly disease if not treated.
 
Sometimes before Sept 2011 an Anopheles mosquito  bit my husband so not only did  we pack our few belongings and head back to the US but unbeknown  to Ace his liver was packing this parasites just waiting to release in his blood stream.  The last week of August 2012, one year later he begin to get sick, thinking he was just run down.. Very soon he was so weak he could not stay awake,  having shakes and  fevers  till  it spiked dangerously high so to the  emergency room we went.  We  both thought this might be malaria but the medical staff did not think so even though his spleen was enlarged and white and red blood cell way down.  They admitted him thinking he might have West Nile virus.  Test after test was ran, strong antibiotic were given but still his fever and chills were becoming worst and worst to the  point he shook the hospital bed till they could hear it in the hall.   After three days the blood work came back positive for malaria.  Finally they started treating him with an eradication treatment to kill the parasites in his liver and spleen.  He now is home resting, still on medication for another 7 days. 
 
I had lots of time to pray and think about how is God going to get glory out of this.  We both got to witness to a lot of curious nurses and doctors who took care of him who wanted to know  where he had lived to get malaria and why would we live there?  Once again we realized these are temporary bodies we walk around it.   Makes one want to enjoy every moment God gives us.

A friend wrote this to me during this latest trial. " During a test" the Teacher is always silent".  So if you are going through a stretch of time and you feel God is silent maybe it is a test you have to pass.   We have had those trials when we thought we were not hearing from God but this one was different.  God calmed my anxious heart as I sit in that isolation room praying my husband would get well.   
 
The calmness helped me as I  search the Internet for information which brought this thought. Sin was like a parasite.   It starts as a thought, which we put aside thinking it is dormant till something, another thought, something we see, read or touch and then it explodes, taking over our senses and renders us helpless and we can even infect others when sin is reigning in us.   An alcoholic never thought they would become one with the first drink or even the second nor third one.  Sin grows as it get fed like a parasite does on our blood.  Parasites can kill unless treated. 
   
James 1:13-15
13 When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

 How grateful I am that God has put the prescription for our sin in I John 1:8-9 If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us.  He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all un righteousness.

Here comes the Krispy Kreme donut part.  Daily I would get some breakfast in the hospital cafe.  The first day I seen these wonderful looking chocolate covered donuts, tried one, it was so good I had another before I left.  Next morning, another donut and next morning one again.  The lady who checked me out commenting that she was glad I found their donuts good, she said they are Krispy Kreme,  my absolute favorite.   Those donuts were not from the Lord, He would not tempt me.  They were my parasite (food) which is what I usually turn to during times of stress.   I could eat them every morning, probably more then one.  Through the years I have given up lots of different food items that are not healthy for me but this lesson was how easily I was enticed back into gobbling a few donuts down.  To me they were like strong drink is to an alcoholic.  
I even said to Ace when he got to where he could eat, honey they have donuts in the cafe, you want one?  Thank God he said no, and finished eating his healthy heart breakfast.  I felt a little like Eve in the garden, come on honey, just a bite!!!!!! 

I don't know what your parasite is but I know one of mine is foods that is not healthy for me.  The enemy of my soul wants me weak, malnourished with a cloudy mind so he can continue to tempt me over and over.  The only way I have found that works good for me is to flee from the sin if possible.  It was possible, I did not go to the cafe again for breakfast.  I was tempted but the thought of that donut being a parasite helped me to resist.   

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

                                        DO YOU HAVE A PARASITE?????

 

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Fringes Of His Ways


Job 26:7-14...  He stretches out the north over empty space. And hangs the world on nothing. He wraps up the waters in His clouds. And the clouds does not brust under them.  He obscures the face of the full moon. And spreads His clouds over it.  He has inscribed a circle on the surface of the waters. At the boundrary of light and darkness. The pillars of heaven tremble.  And are amazed at His rebuke. He quieted the sea with His power. And by His understaning He shattered Rahab. By His breathe the heavens are cleared. His hand has pierced the fleeing serpent. Behold these are the fringes of His ways.  And how faint a word we hear of Him. But His mightly thunder, who can understand.

Several years ago we went through a major series of dramatic events.   During this time I park myself in Job 26:7-14 and God begin the process of healing my disappointed heart.  You see I had my eyes on man and God said, "enough my child."  There are times in our walk with God He wants us to see the fringes of His ways.    Nicole Mullens penned the word from Job 26 and sang these beautiful words..

MY REDEEMER LIVES
Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning
Who told the ocean you can only come this far
Who showed the moon where to hide till evening
Whose words alone can catch a falling star

Well I know my Redeemer lives, I know my Redeemer lives
Let all  creation testify, that this life within me cries
I know my Redeemer lives

This very same God that spins things in orbit
He runs to the weary, the worn and the weak
And the same gentle hands that hold me when I’m broken
They conquered death to bring me victory

That the payment for my sin was the precious life he gave
Now He’s alive and there’s an empty grave
And I know my Redeemer, He lives, I know my Redeemer lives
Let all creation testify, let this  life within me cries,

If you have time..stop and soak in the power of Nicole C. Mullen singing: My Redeemer Lives  Whatever you are worried about will drift away as the words fill you.  Blessings.
 http://www.youtube.com/embed/9p4GbPYQA

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Self Control or Controlling Self?




 


                                           A person without self-control is like a house
                                              with its doors and windows knocked out.
                                                          Proverbs 25:28 (MSG)


  I have read that scripture many times but until I looked at this picture did not realize the depths of how a lack of self control could produce such devastation.  Somewhere in the life of this house it was left to ruin.  It is easy to let things go as they age...an older building usually takes more care then a new one.  My thoughts go to: Gal 5: 22  The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control:  against such things there is no law.  I have to wonder if self control is what all the rest of the fruits of the Spirit hinge on.  Without self control none of the fruits of the Spirits will ever be evidence in my life and I  would become like that house. 

When  my faith was brand spanking new, I was so eager  to work at scriptures such as Gal. 5:22.  First, God gave me  a whole new vocabuary.  Within a few months I was convicted about my smoking...it bothered me that a little skinny paper tube with tobacco in it could make me dig through the trash to find a half smoked cigerette.  After a  battle of withdrawals I finally laid them down.  Have never picked them again, praise God for His help.  It was then I realize this one fruit, self control, could bring the rest of the fruit to a harvest.  Trust me it did  not happen over night but slowly God begin to replace my wanting to please  myself to pleasing Him.

Now that I am older in the Lord it is easier to use my age as an excuse to not exercise self control or control of self.  This thought sometimes runs through my mind, I am a mature Christian I can watch or read this and not be affected.  With lots of spiritual battles under my belt you would think it would make the battle easier...not so.  Oh I know more scripture then I did when my faith was new but it's easy to fall back on all those experiences for motivation to over come the flesh.  Below are  some of the things I still  battle.

1. What comes out of my mouth...   Pro. 13:13 He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin. 

2. My reactions to hurts... Oh do I ever need self control on this one or my temper will tear others down like the house in the picture.  Pro. 19:11 If you're sensible, you'll control your temper. When someone wrongs you, it's a great virture to ignore it. 

3. My schedule. ..The first word speaks volume...for when it's "MY" schedule instead of the Lords I will be frustrated.  Ephesian 5:15-16 Live life with a due sense of responsibility . Make the best use of my time. 

4. My money...there I go again calling it "MY MONEY" ...Proverbs 20:21 A wise man or woman saves for the future, but the foolish man or woman spends what he or she gets.  There is so much out there to bring temptation to buy, buy, buy. 

5. My health...This one really gets to me...Pro. 23:3 If you have a  big appetitie, restrain yourself...control self's love of Taco Bell.

There are many thing we cannot control, the weather so it will not rain on our parade,  and the tides from going in and out among many other things.  God does not require that we control things that are beyond us.  When we try it turns into worry.  Some things we just need to accept and work our way through.   Our biggest disappointments come when we try to control people, especially our own children we have reared from birth.    Our children need for us to understand the truths of the Word on a lack of self control so we do not pass onto them a "victim" mentality. 

Proverbs 16:32 shows a more positive side of self-control: "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city." Here Solomon uses an entirely different word for "rule," but the sense of self-control remains. A comparison of the two proverbs reveals the great importance of self-control as both an offensive and defensive attribute.  Self control defeats the enemy, the world and the flesh

                                  God help me to live like a victor and 
                                         not a victim.   




 

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Last Time

Two little words (last time) kept cropping up in our conversation as we headed to church that Sunday.   Last time to worship with the believers at  Eastern Gate Baptist Church   in Papua New Guinea.  Since 2004 we had called this our  church.  They actually called it Machine Gun Beach Church for there is an old machine gun right across the street right on the ocean left over from World War II.  

It was to be our "last time" with the believers and I was struggling.   Not only do I not like goodbye's but I could come up with several reasons not to go.

1. too steamy hot... 
 2. ants would be crawling all over me...
 3. usually only understand half of what the preacher says…
 4. tired from the week of packing and cleaning in the heat... 

I could go on with more reason but that’s enough to express  a heart not in a thankful mood.    We parked in the pastor yard which also housed the small church with gravel floor, thatch half walls around it.  I looked for the pot of meat I had cooked early that morning for the pot luck....like a flash I could see it sitting on our porch step where I left it as I ran back in the house to get something I forgot.  So now we have come to the pot luck empty handed.   

Oh no, add another reason…number five..shame..for not wanting to go to church.  But I put on my happy face, shook people hands, talked a little, finally went to the women side of church, my husband to the men side as they gathered for a last time service with us.  Then the singing without any instruments started and God begin to work in my anxious heart and I could not stop the tears from flowing out.  Song after song I thought my heart would burst from emotion.  It dawned on me….they really were going to miss us and  I was going to miss them, these dark skinned believers who lift their voices every Sunday to the Lord.   This was the last time we would sit in this little church across the sea.  Soon we would be heading home for a stateside ministry probably never to return. 

Recently I  was cleaning up some old drafts and came across the above and  thought I would finish this one even though I started it Sept 2011 and  it is now July 2012.  Memories flood my heart  as  I  recall those dear saints of God attending the little church there in Papua New Guinea.  Our first Sunday there was quite an eye opener. Their needs are so easy to see, more comfortable seating,, concrete or wood floor, fans to circulate the hot humid air, teaching material, an office for the pastor and their list could go for while.   Yet I never heard folks sing with such passion. You know they did not even have enough silver wear or plates at their pot lucks to give out...so as soon as one got through eating their fork or spoon and plate  would be wash and handed to someone in need.  They were insistent we always have the first turn with a fork.  As we ate that last Sunday I just kept thinking, this will be the last time we will share a meal with them.

Now we worship in a church with  air con, comfortable chairs, carpeted floors and an abundance of silver wear among other things.  Sometimes it's hard to hear the words of a song due the loudness of the instruments.  My mind floats back to those hot sweaty Sundays , sharing forks and hearing them  sing Rock Of Ages in four part harmony and knowing their every day struggles to just provide enough food to feed their families.  People ask if we miss our ministry across the sea...YES WE DO...yes we wish we had another life to give...but  we believe God is in the "last times" as well as the  "firsts."

Through the years we've  had lots of first time.  First job, first car,  first and only marriage, first child, a last child and first and only house, .   First time and last time of hearing the gospel before I became of believer.  First overseas ministry in Bolivia, last in Papua New Guniea.  At this writing, first time to live in California...wonder WHERE His last place will be for us...hummm?

Like all believers I wait for the ultimate last time of events to happen in God's time span.  I can think of no better ending to this post then this:
  He came the first time to die; the last time He is coming again to raise the dead.

When He came the first time, they questioned whether He was King; the last  time the world
will know that He is King of kings and Lord of lords.


The first time He wore a crown of thorns; the last  time He will be wearing a crown of glory .


The first time He came in poverty; the last time He is coming in power.

The first time He had an escort of angels; the last time He will come with ten thousands of His saints.

The first time He came in meekness; He is coming again in majesty. 
 (core of message by Adrian Rogers.)


                                 Come on Lord Jesus...for the last time.

This post is linked to Tell Me A Story
"http://www.linkytools.com/thumbnail_linky_include.aspx?id=155502"

Monday, July 16, 2012

One Good memory


Father's Day is here again and so many are posting wonderful memories about their Dad's on facebook and writing blogs about them.  I always go back to this post I wrote several years ago.  

Everyone has a Dad but not all of them were good ones.  My Dad did not have a good Dad and he followed after his Dad.  So few good memories are in my memory bank about him. 

I married who was a wonderful Dad and our son is a wonderful Dad and our daughter married a good Dad.  I don't live in regret over my childhood anymore, God has taught me to let Him use it, don't waste it by being angry, bitter over the face I did not have a good Dad.  I am grateful for all God has taught me through my struggles to forgive.  Besides, I have the best Dad of all in our Heavenly Father.  


Hazel over at   http//letmetelluastory.blogspot.com  gave  a challenge to write stories from ones past.  Stories that can be left to our children and grandchildren.
For some, that may not be a challenge but for me, it's extremely difficult.   There are some great stories on her blog site.  Some will make you laugh, shed tears,  and some are life-changing but all are usually good memories that are shared.  Every time I read those post my heart wishes I could come up with one good memory about my Dad from my childhood to share.  Then one day as I watch my son comb his three year old daughter hair a flashback happened, one I had not had in a long time.  A good flashback...it was my dad combing my hair when I was about my granddaughter age.  Through the years it's the one flashback that does not cause me to tremble.  

A flashback, or involuntary recurrent memory, is a psychological phenomenon in which an individual has a sudden, usually powerful, re-experiencing of a past experience or elements of a past experience. These experiences can be happy, sad, exciting, or any other emotion one can consider.
Wikepidia encyclopedia.....
By the time I was two my mother had given birth to twin boys, 19 months younger then me so maybe Dad noticed her hand was pretty full that night.   Maybe he was sober that night. Maybe he was trying to make up for some of the abuse he inflicted on us.  These details were not answered in my flashback.  All my mind recalled is him combing my hair and I was not crying so he must have been gentle.    I am amazed how one good memory can rise above all the bad ones.  It would be so easy to dwell on the hurting ones and allow nothing good to come through but that helps no one including me.  

When my two children became teenagers they started asking me about my upbringing.  I wanted to lie...to evade the questions anything but gives words to memories.   They only knew my Dad as the broken man we took care of three years at the end of his life.  They did not know him as I did and because of Jesus living in my life, I somehow wanted to protect them from even knowing how bad things had been for me as a child.  God never wastes anything though and He gently shoved me through opened doors to share how the love of God can win the most wicked heart.  You see my Dad got saved the night before he died. (another post...I Got What I Wanted)


The love of God can turn anger and bitterness into understanding and forgiveness.  These were the things I wanted my children to learn.  These are the things I want my grandchildren to learn.  They will get hurt along the way, some may even betray their trust.  My prayer is that some of my stories, even the hurtful ones can be used to give them an understanding into the wickedness of our hearts.  "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God."  Understanding that says, "there but by the grace of God go I".    I could paint a horrible picture of my Dad and they would feel sorry for me but that is not what God wants.  I am a better person because of my understanding and the act of forgiveness.  No one owns me except the one who bought and shed His blood for my sin...to Him I owe everything.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to
be understanding and forgiving.     Dale Carnegie

“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present....  Barbara De Angelis

God said to Solomon in  a dream, "ask what you want Me to give you."  Solomon after looking back
at his and his father life said, "give Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people, to discern between good and evil...give me wisdom. 

This dialogue in I Kings 3  between God and Solomon made a profound impact on my life as a young Christian of 35.  The more I studied it  a deep desire grew for the same thing, an understanding wise heart.    Life is a few days of trouble a wise man once said and those troubles will rule ones life unless there isan understanding of who God is, who man is, what sin is, and most important the power of redemption.    

I know there are more good memories tucked back in my memory  bank and with God's help, I am praying for more to emerge.  But for now, I will dwell on a little red headed three year old girl getting her hair brushed by her daddy.  Sweet memory.

 Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise , dwell on these things. Phil 4:8

This post is linked to Tell Me A Story
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Monday, June 18, 2012

Sometime I Cry


I believe the word of this song speak more then I could even pen down. 
When was the last time you cry alone at night?
How refreshing it feels to cried before a Holy God the deep sorrows of our heart.
How much peace can flood our soul after a time of deep weeping.
How long did you have to cry before you felt relief.
May  God  words speak to your heart and you come away from listening knowing that all is well, all is well, God will wipe the tears aways someday.  
TRUST HIM, HE IS WORTHY TO TRUST

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Twinkies or Broccoli


 Research done by a social scientist at Harvard found after a nine year study with seven thousand people the most  isolated people were three times more likely do die then those with strong relational connections. 

Another statistic:  people who have bad habits (such as smoking, poor eating habits, obesity , or alcohol use) but strong ties lived significantly longer. Longer then those with great health habits but were isolated.  In other words, ( I love this part) it is better to eat Twinkies with good friends than to eat broccoli alone.

I know, I know statistic can be wrong but I have to admit the one about "Twinkies and broccoli" is just too good  not to believe...well, I want to believe it.  (smiley face)

On a serious note:  Through the years I have collected some of the most precious friends.  Some dating back to my early years growing up playing kick the can in the streets of a small southern Illinois town.  One friend in particular ALWAYS keeps me updated on those we grew up with, some who never left my home town, some like me, traveled afar. 

Friends came and went as Ace and I moved several times due to his work.  Louisville, Kentucky, bluegrass country was where the hounds of heaven caught up with both of us.  I learned the value of, "what a friend we have in Jesus", He never leaves or forsakes us.  (Hebrew 13:5-6)   He was about to test my faith on this scripture as the moves began to stretch farther.

Next  step was down south, Bolivia, South America, serving with New Tribes Mission. He went along for that seven year journey.  Back to the states for a period, new friends sprinkled among old ones,  He came along,  never turning up missing as some of our luggage did, never to be found.   

Again He swept us up, said, " buy another one way ticket",  this time for the land of the unexpected, Papua New Guinea.  We crossed several time zones, losing a whole day somewhere as we traveled HOURS  to reach a place half way around the world.  Whats an international date line to a God who formed the four corners of the universe?

Stepping off the plane in Madang, PNG waited a host of NEW FRIENDS to welcome us to a hot humid land.    Ok God, I prayed as sweat poured, I can do this, YOU are here with me,   YOU,  who said hello to my dead soul 26 years ago, You, who I will never have to say goodbye to,   You are my best traveling friend, easy to pack around in my heart.  

Age and health has played a determining factor in God's direction for our life.  We bought another one way ticket, said our goodbyes to this wealth of friends on that side of the sea after seven years.   God had another location, another ministry for us. A few times through the traveling I have experienced some mild depression during heavy periods of testing.  But I was not prepared for how much this move would tax my  emotions and physically strength as we settled back into stateside living.   I KNOW GOD KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE IS DOING...  still I prayed,  God please no more moves.  All the hello's and goodbyes have caught up with me...no more please...let me just stay in the hills of Kentucky, rest my weary soul till you shout me home. My name is Betty Heavenly Father, not Sarai.

Ok, I can tell  you are ahead of me on this one aren't you???   You know  I  did not need another test on "change" on being "flexible"... got that one nailed down.  Silly me,  He always wants to drive truth deeper in our hearts and what better stake then a "move".    

So a little younger then Abraham and Sarai we packed our car and thank God it was not a camel.  Drove across too many states to count loaded with our few meager belongings arriving at God's destination for us...California, new location, new ministry, still with New Tribes.  Some old friends hosted us till we found a place. Then began the adventure of making new friends.  I have to admit...I saw  so much through depressed eyes those first months after we moved.  These girls must have seen my Twinkie heart buried underneath for the picture at the top was a pot luck meal to close out our bible study for the summer. It matter not what the desert was that evening...the fellowship was Twinkies all the way.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

                                           Got a twinkle friend or friends, encouraged them today.

. 





Saturday, June 2, 2012

Following Jesus

Today I realized something important to me about blogging.  I love to follow those who follow Jesus.   If time would allow I could spend the whole day just reading posts, the replies and exploring new sites.   I come away from time spent in the words of those who are "courageous and wise hearted"  encouraged and with more thoughts then I can possibly process.  Quilting, recipes sharing, scraping booking tips,  crafty ideas and pictures of people do not encourage me as much as words about what God  has done or doing in your life. 

Below is a few  of the sites I often drop in on.  These visit always  bring emotions such as tears, laughter, silent,  and sighs  and always deepens in me an increased passion to "follow Him." 

Compassion@Work......Lolita
Crown of Beauty......Lidy
Joy's Notepad.....Joy
But For the Grace of God.....Floyd
Apples of Gold....Pam
Pain Won't Beat.....Martha
An Encouraging Word....Diane
Great Pain, Greater Glory....Judi
He Gives Me A Song...Glenda
Sassy Granny....Kathy
Transitional Woman...Elizabeth
Prayer Notes...Cynthia
Off The Beaten Trek...Rosel
The Shticks...Veronica

Thank you dear ones for being willing to step out and share all God has taught you...sometimes bearing your soul, spilling tears as you write, knowing misunderstanding could comes but you risk...for the sake of encouraging one soul on the other side of your words.   

A closing thought:  I love the picture at the top.... it big enough to see from the beginning of the road and just becomes bigger as you near the end.  It's like you could walk right into His arms just over the horizon.  Hummmmm think I will sit a while and focus on "following Jesus". 
                 
      Maybe you could share a few words on "following Jesus...I would love the encouragement.