Dropping Out and Then Back In Process

Do you ever feel like dropping out of everything and just doing nothing, no cleaning, cooking, going anywhere, talking to anyone, no going to church, bible study, shopping, eating out, meeting with a friend, ETC? 

I don't get that way often, thank God, but actually it's gotten more often in the last few years.  A few days ago I talked to a friend about some of my feelings, she suggest seeing  a doctor which I thought was good advice.

Today I walked into my doctor office determined to be so honest and raw since I always say I am fine when ask.  Which is so dumb cause who goes to the doctor when they are fine?

Since I have come this far I need to put a middle to this so you won't start wondering what terrible thing has happened to Betty.  I do have some family that have some serious illnesses.  I do have friends who are struggling with illness, heartaches over children, marriage issues.  In fact, as I think about it, most folks I know have something going on in their life that could make them feel like, 'dropping out."  And by "dropping out", I don't mean doing any harm to myself but just not being bothered by life.  But I don't often feel this way. So when I do, I know it's time for some deep soul searching. 

If I could put one  word to where I am right now, it would be aging.  I hate even spelling the word...but I hate worst what it means to me or has done to me personally.  Woe is me, the victim of aging.  I hate that look I get from the doctor right before she says, things change as you age, she is 40 years younger than me.  Or that look my husband gives me when I cannot for the life of me remember something or fell again, or don't move as fast as I use to.  It's that, nursing home look or tone which he coined because its the reason we no longer serve overseas.  At that time it was him everyone was using that tone with.  Now it's me...I hate it.  I hate aging.  I know we are not suppose to use the word "hate" but dislike does not match my feelings right now.  Maybe by the end of this post I can get back to that kinder word.

Just gonna throw this next paragraph in to give more understanding to my context of this post.  

THIS IS NOT ABOUT DYING.  "YES, I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING JESUS FACE TO FACE, YES, I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING FAMILY AND FRIENDS, YES, I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO NO MORE SIN.  LET ME SAY IT AGAIN, THIS IS NOT ABOUT DYING, IT'S ABOUT LIVING WITH LIMITATIONS".

In Philippians 1:6 Paul say, I  am confident of this  very thing, that He, who begun a good work in you, (me ) will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.  I find a lot of feeling wrapped up in this verse.  When I was younger, say about 8 years ago I felt excitement at starting new stuff, doing old stuff, just plan doing anything the Lord wanted.  And 8 years ago I could pretty much do anything or at least felt like I could. I have lost that excitement about change I know the Lord is bringing into our lives which is brought about by "aging".  

Today I read part of a sermon on Phil. 1:6 which stirred my depressed heart.  

God always finishes what He starts.   We, on the other hand, do not always finish what we start.  Our lives are often filled with loose ends—home improvement tasks begun but not finished, books begun but not finished, promises made but not kept, intentions begun but not followed through on.  Our lives are often replete with would-have-beens, should-have-beens, and could-have-beens.

God’s work of salvation does not depend on whether or not you hold onto your faith; it depends on the fact that even if you can’t hold onto your faith, He never stops holding onto you.  That’s why Paul wrote to the Thessalonians: “May the God of peace himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept sound and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do this” (I Thessalonians 5:23

I turn to music often when I am struggling.  Today I found the song that fit the Lord's heart in me.  And nobody can sing it like Mahalia Jackson. 

Lord don't move the mountain
But give me strength to climb
Lord don't move my stumbling block
But lead me around

You didn't say, Lord, that it would be easy
For when our tribulations get too light
We tend to stray from Thee
Have mercy

Lord don't move the mountain
But give me strength to climb
Lord don't move my stumbling block
But lead me around

After listening to this about 10 times I can say without a doubt I don't hate aging, I do dislike it, but no hate.  This day is almost over and I am one day closer to seeing the one who is finishing His work in me on a daily bases.

Got a mountain you want moved? 

Just wait, the best is yet to come.

For the last five years we have been making trips to Arizona because it's one of the states we cover as Member Care Reps for Ethnos 360 Mission, formerly New Tribes Missions.  Several times I contacted this blog brother, Floyd to see if we could connect.  Either he was gone or we had too many meetings or for what ever reason it did not work.  The Lord would always whisper, just wait.  

When you want something really bad it's so hard to wait for it.   And ever since we moved back to the states from Papua New Guinea I have wanted to meet up with  some of those folks whose blogs I follow. Just to say to them face to face, thank you.  Thank you for the wise words you wrote that pulled me out of a struggle, or gave me courage to continue to write, or deepened my walk with the Lord.  Honestly, after reading their blogs, those who are real about life and me sharing my life you feel like you have known them for years.

The waiting finally came to an end this past January as we made our way to Phoenix, Arizona where my brother Gary lives, he kindly puts us up and we just use his place as a base to travel out of.   

This time we had about four planned visits but actually was able to connect with several more after we got there. Our main goal is to meet up with missionaries on home assignment from many countries.  Just to see how they are doing, listen to their stories, see if we can help them in any way.  No agenda really, just to be an encouragement, to Member Care them as our mission calls it, to say thank you for being a part of reaching the unreached. 

This blog friend, Floyd, who I had never met  was able to come apart from his busy life for lunch.  He is a contractor of several companies and we had a lunch time free and there we were finally, meeting face to face.  Ace was with me which was a huge blessing to me for I wanted them to meet.  I sense so many times in Floyd writings he was a man after my husband heart.  Ace does not write a blog but I read many of Floyd's to him.  It was like meeting someone we known all our lives.  So much in common, especially our love for our family.  Our conversation was easy, it flowed into one thing after another, and the common ground was Jesus and His love for us despite all our failures. I felt no separation as one was better than the other , we stood on the same ground at the cross and on the other side of the cross. 

All too soon we had to part, Floyd to work, us to our next meeting.  I think we were all three glowing from being together because of the fourth one who had joined us, Jesus.  Meeting Floyd, has deepen my goal to reach out to others I blog with when I am close.  Oh I know we will meet in heaven but why not enjoy life here.   As much as I love reading Floyd's post the best was sitting across from him face to face, seeing him smile,  hearing his voice as he talk about his family.  He is not just words on paper now, he is real in my mind and heart and Ace and I are grateful to the Lord to have someone like him praying for us.  Thank you Floyd.  http://theregoi.com/

The Big Picture

I often say, if I was younger I would study to be an astronaut because then I could see the earth from a distance.   It's beautiful hanging on nothing surround by the darkness of space.  The bible talks about how God hangs the earth on nothing and that is an awesome thought that has helped me during hard times. He does not have to spend any of  His time keeping it hanging on nothing either so I know He cares for me more then the creation.

The farther out in space you go the more you see...or do you?

Those space pictures do not show people even though we know for sure God put humans on earth, along with the animals.  Flying in a jet is as close as I will get to space travel.  Once that jet is at its cruising altitude you see God creation, a bigger picture, the tops of mountains become visible, the colors of earth change, the rivers wind their way through the colors of earth, green, brown, blues, whites.  But no people.

Then that jet starts to descent and you can see cars on roads, houses as it goes through clouds at different levels.  Then before you know it, the biggest picture comes into view, people, kids playing in yards, people driving their cars and you before you know it, you are down and hugging the big picture.

The farther out one goes from earth the big picture get smaller because it leaves the most important thing to God out of sight, people.  He did not send His son to die for the ball of earth we live on, or the suns, moons and other planets, it's people in His big picture.

I am so not against going into space, love watching any space documentary, but I am more excited when I hear someone got saved.  When I hear that, my world picture  gets bigger.

God has a plan for all of us and when we come to know Him through His Son it starts to be revealed. For us it was foreign missions, two countries we were privilege to work in, and now we serve stateside with Ethnos 360 as Member Care Reps.  But before we did all that we were involved in a local church, taught a Sunday School class, sing in the choir, my husband taught children church, was a youth pastor.  We were involved in mission, always taking them out to eat when needed, giving them a place to lay  their head at night and financially supporting them.

What I hope these short clips do is show you the need, how God is fulfilling it through people just like you.  Ask Him what part He wants you to play in the big picture of seeing those tucked away in remote place hear the gospel.  Blessings.

Leave Your Boots

Today is my 73 birthday which is hard to believe. Lots of things have changed as I have aged. As Paul said, I am who I am by the grace of God, comfortable in who God has made me. He even knows what kind of music I love to listen to. 

If you  know me you know I am country. As soon as this man started singing he was my choice to win the Voice. He’s got that pure country sound and does a love song that makes you want to be with the one you love. I am glad that age does not dim the glow a great love song gives. I’ve been leaving my boots at the same man bed for 55 years. 

Because I was a country singer when I got saved it was natural for me to go into country and southern gospel music.  Country tells a story, some of them are heartbreaking stories but the heart understand them because we have all had our heart broken a time or two. Which is why we are in need of someone to mend our hearts.  

Now with southern gospel there is a story too. The story is always the same, God's love for man, man is a sinner in need of a Savior, God sends His Son to die for man sin. Here is the best part, He did not stay dead , love for us brought him out of the grave.   At age 35 I believed the story of the gospel and I have parked my boots in heaven and someday when He is ready for me, the lover of my soul will call me home and I shall see Him face to face.  Now that's a divine love story that never fails.  

 Nothing like a wrapped present to build excitement in the heart of a child.  Our grandchildren ask us every time they are over if they can open their presents.  Ace and I get excited too for we know what the presents are and we know they will love them.    They did not shop for their gifts or pay for it,  we did, it's theirs, free and clear.  We don't expect them to pay us back, or buy us something in return.  

You know I am still excited over the gift I opened on Oct. 20th,  1980. In fact I want to give this gift to all I meet.  Instead of being under a tree this gift was nailed to a old rugged cross,  it's package of flesh torn and bleeding.  The bow made into a crown of thorns dug into the wrapping.  There was nothing pretty about the package and the way it was presented.  Yet it contain everything to give me eternal life. 

 I believe God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit gets excited when ever this gift is presented to someone.  They wait, hoping it will be accepted.  

There is no plainer truth taught in the Word of God than salvation being a “free gift” (Romans 5:15,18; 6:23). If I were to offer you a Christmas present, but with the stipulation that you must be willing to take a bath, it would not be a gift. Why? Because I have clearly implied that I expect you to take a bath to get the present. A gift is defined as something given voluntarily without any payment in return. 

The thief had nails through both hands, so that he could not work; and a nail through each foot, so that he could not run errands for the Lord; he could not lift a hand or a foot toward his salvation, and yet Christ offered him the gift of God; and he took it. Christ threw him a passport, and took him into Paradise. D.L. Moody (don't you just love this quote?)

One more quote from Mary DeMuth book, Everything. 

We cannot fully satisfy a holy God. Our redemption is an outrageous, initiating act accomplished by God alone. He pursued humanity to such an extent that His feet landed on earth, and He chased after us until He rescued us at the cross. We did not climb onto those wooden beams. We could not receive the nails that pierced those holy hands. We who are not kingly wore no crown. We could not drink the cup of God wrath. "For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. Rom. 5:6. God did what we could not . He sent His beautifully sinless Son to take our place, to satisfy for all time God's wrath upon sin. "For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. II Cor. 5:21

God transforms, He creates, He  thinks otherworldly thoughts,  He dares to redeem an obstinate world. If we camp in that place, remembering the gift we could never, ever pay back, we will live astonished lives, and our growth will be the best kind---the kind that emerges from gratitude, from thinking rightly about God.

What a gift!

Merry Christmas

.  

Cruising Along

All last week I kept thinking what can I draw from this adventure of cruising to Mexico?  Below is a few words I put on my facebook wall.   I try to post almost everyday a quote or some encouraging word. 
__________________________________________________________

Just want to say I missed you all as we were on a cruise for a week and laid our cell phones aside and did not even take our computers with us. We went to Mexico with some friends from church which always makes it fun. Of course, all have been asking how we liked it?

Cruising is the most relaxing way I have ever traveled. Mexico was not new to us since we been before on a mission trip. Life on a huge ship is different, like not having to cook, clean, and being waited on all the time was very different. It took us a couple days to get over being overwhelmed because we were not doing anything. As our son says, we don't know how to relax. We had a room with a balcony which we loved. I did get another chapter done on my book sitting on that balcony, the weather down south was wonderful. 

As I ask God to show me the deep part of what I was feeling I soon realized we were traveling without a purpose. We travel all the time to meet missionaries, go to conferences, meetings, visit our supporters and family which to us has a purpose. But to travel just to travel.  There is was, the deep part...we were traveling just to travel. God knew we needed to experience this wonderful feeling and once we got use to it, we relaxed. It's called a vacation...so Lord willing as we save our pennies we will go on a cruise to Alaska in couple years or three, that cruise takes a lot more pennies. 

Or if  we are still physical able maybe to Israel, Rome, and all the place Paul traveled to by ship to share the sweet gospel, ( I am pretty sure it will take pennies from heaven for that one.)

I am still not caught up with emails, facebook messages, and settling back into land living but just wanted to say hello and share God's goodness to us.

A few added words that came after I posted on facebook.  As much as I like cruising I don't really want to cruise through life.  I don't want life to be all about me.  Ace and I both did not totally feel normal as we cruised along the ocean.   Most  people only wanted to talk about themselves, I wanted to talk Jesus. Only one person was open, she sit by us and told me how many cruises she had been on.  So when my turn came I stepped through the open door and told how even through this was my first cruise I had lived in a couple of other countries.  Then she said, are you are missioinary?  Wow, the door blew open even wider, but before I could ask my standard next question,  are you a believer? She said, I love New Tribes Missions, love what their missionaries do, we support some.  They are the real missionary going into remote place telling the gospel.   I had not even mention the mission I was with.  Instantly we both started talking at once seeing if we knew some of the same people.  Sadly I had to go, I had an appointment to keep. You know I did not even get her name and I did not see her again while we were on the ship.  My heart was encouraged though, I wanted to talk to everyone then about Jesus.  I never had another open door so I went back to relaxing for the sake of relaxing.  It was good for Ace and I to let our friends see we could do that since they were such a part of getting us to go on the cruise.  

How many of you have been on a cruise, what was your favorite thing about it, where did you visit, would you do it again? Thanks for listening to me rambling on and on.  

Popup Pictures

I love the popup pictures from the past. 2010 was a great year because of all those people in the picture. We were the Madang team that ministered on the Support Center 20 miles outside of Madang, Papua New Guinea located right on the Bismarck Sea. 

Our job was to keep the missionaries out in the remote villages supplied with what ever they needed. That young man on the left was single then, now married with three, maybe four children back learning an un written language in a village so they can present the gospel. The couple next to him were on an island with an active volcano learning a new language, but eventually had to come home to take care of his parents. Next to them is a couple from England, were in a village for years, finished up the translation of the Bible while helping us on the base. We are next to them, Ace was the finance administrator, leadership, I fried chicken and took care of housing. 

Top level, behind us was the young man in blue t shirt was a jack of all trades, he did whatever needed done plus in his space time built guitars, learned different language. the couple with the cute kids came as singles. He built the houses on the base. They married, actually had three children while living there. Now they reside in the states, with I think 6 children, and he is still a builder. The next couple serves in Columbia now. The gentleman in the yellow shirt worked on another island, translated the bible into the village language and then after many years came to the Madang base to help it get started and finally retired. 

I wanted to tell you all this and actually wanted to write about 100 times more about these people who are just like you. Normal people going about life , heard there were some people who needed to hear the gospel and said yes to it. Was it a call, not really, it is a command, go into all the world, this was the part of the world He picked for all of us. Some of us served in other countries also and still continue to serve Him in the states, England, where ever our feet are. That's what missionaries do, serve Him where ever their feet walk, tell others in what ever languages we can speak about how thankful we are for God sending His Son to die for our sin. 

Lets not get so caught up in just being thankful for the good food we will eat in a few days, Lets get caught up in the fact God loves us and those we will be around. Don't be thankful for the turkey and harbor hatred toward someone in your heart. Jesus gave us the power to really love and be thankful. Make your thanksgiving real.

Boogers and shoe strings...

Perspective is everything, no matter what life hands you.  Children are the best at keeping things into a proper perspective.  They not only see the issue but get excited over little things that we fret about. 

Example: Our son ask his son, age five, how was his day at school?  The grandson gave the wisest perspective of his day.  Dad, he said, it was a good day.  My shoes stayed tied and I didn't have any boogers.  

After hearing that I have decided I may use that  perspective next time I am ask how my day was.  

Lets see, it would go like this.  It was a good day, I over slept, left the house a mess because I was going to lunch  with a friend.  Had my favorite salad, also a McDonald's hot fudge sundae.  Shopped  literally till I had to drop for while in a seat in the store till my energy came back, but I did not pee my pants.  As hard as I tried not to,  I did do some gossiping and listened to some.  Went around the store singing, Silver Bells, very loud on purpose and had a few sing along with me.  when the little kids stared at me, I ask them to sing jingle bells with me, they did.  No one threw me out of the store or told me to shut up.  Especially those standing in the long line waiting to get checked out, they just smiles and sang along. 

I am telling you folks we are taking life a little to serious, honestly, it's such a short life.  While I was in the dressing room I thought my friend came in so I am yelling, Geri, Geri, you have got to see this on me, it was a bright, mustard colored t shirt. It was only 4.20 cents.  I heard this lady say, I am not your friend but I'll take a look.  My friend came in about that time and we had a great time of laughing over some comments I cannot post.  I ask the lady, do you know the song, Silver Bells, she said no.  Oh great, I got to teach it to her.  She said she was going to shop with us, we were fun.  

Got my clothes home, realized I had to take something back.  Next day, without my friend, I hit that store again and as I am looking for another shirt, this beautiful women ask me if I thought the color of the shirt she was holding looked good on her.  I told her the truth, it looked great, so she followed me from sale rack to sale rack.  I was honest, some things she picked out did not look good. Now I was looking for real bargains, nothing over five dollars,  but it was clear   she had a little more money then I did because the higher prices did not bother her.  I finally had to leave but she could sing silver bells with me before I did.  

And here is the best part, my shoes stayed tied and I did not have an boogers. 

What keeps us from enjoying life?  Is it because we are so mature to bring ourselves to a child's level?  Seems we have no problems when we are mad acting like a child, refusing to do what needs to be done.  If we all had a child's perspective how much better our day would be.  My youngest grandson loves to wash windows but he wants me to do it with him. What a great time I would miss if I refused to not help him.  

Maybe its because I am getting closer to my final move, but I am noticing more and more how much we grown up act so grown up but laugh less and smile less.  Oh, we always laugh at the little kids, but I think we need to get the little kids to laugh with us.  Or even better, get the grown up to laugh with a grown up.  

It's really hard to sing Thanksgiving songs as Christmas items are out in every department of the stores.  Thought I would give you a little taste of what all the "stuff" brings out of me.  I even talked our son, Jared into playing  and singing  a little with me.   I love that God does not waste even our mistakes to bring a little laughter's into our life.  Happy Very Early Merry Christmas.  

 

Dear Prayer Partners,

Every year we as Member Care Reps get together at our Headquarters in Sanford, Florida for a conference.

This year we had a session on, Compassion Fatigue.  Looking forward to reading more on this subject.

The other two days was a workshop on, Risk Assessment and Management. This workshop takes a deeper look at key selected passages in the New Testament on risk and provides a practical framework for risk Assessment and Management, incorporating faith, spiritual and emotions.

Within just this group in the picture there was 263 combined years of experiencing high risk and compassion fatigue at certain times of our living overseas.  As Member Care Reps it’s important to keep current on these subjects because the risk is getting greater and more widespread.  To be able to help someone with compassion fatigue before it drives them to quit is the desire of everyone in this picture. 

Thank you for praying and giving toward our ministry, serving to see the gospel go to the least reached language groups around the world.

Ace & Betty Draper ace_draper@ntm.org

Ethnos360-Southwestern Regional Member Care

Send support, if by check to Ethnos360 312 W. 1st St Sanford, Fl  32771-1487 (On a separate piece of paper, write, to the ministry of Ace & Betty Draper): Go online to :  Ethonos360.org for other options/of giving,  thank you

4021 Peoria Ave

Simi Valley,, CA 93063

805-501-6998(Ace)

805-915-8740(Betty) 

He Loves Me

On the 20th of Oct. Ace and I were married 55 years. Of course many have ask, what is the secret for such a long marriage? Through the years we have given the classic answers which are all good. Commitment, communication, forgive a lot, forgive some more after a lot, listen well, affirm each other, love deeply, lots of intimacy, etc. Then there are other classic answers for staying married so long, the children, security, money, to much trouble to get divorce, don't want to disappoint family, believe its the unforgiveable sin, etc. 

So I have been wondering is there a secret to staying married? There has been some shockers through the years ,those I thought had a wonderful marriage only to hear they divorced.
Then, there are those, like us, married at 17, didn't have children till we'd been married 12 years, had years of a troubled marriage. Most would have bet our marriage would not make it. Honestly, we both didn't think it would make it several times. 

So what is the secret? Truthfully, I don't believe there is a secret, God would not keep something that important a secret. What He also did not keep a secret is the fact in this world we will have trouble, not just a few but all of us will have
trials and struggles that could break the best of marriages.

We can do all the right things, forgive, affirm, listen, 
communicate, have security, children, money, etc. Yet the Bible says our hearts are deceitfully wicked. Keeping our hearts pure is the hardest part of living in this fallen world

Here is the most important truth, God did not keep this a secret either, He loves us. The abundant life He promised us is not found in marriage but in the fact He loves us. ,He never disappoint, never leave us, listen well, affirms us, forgives us always. and never divorces us. Ace and I are still married because of that truth and none other. He loves us.