Consistent War

 

My Journey with Devotions 

I love listening to groups of women share what they’re good at and where they struggle. Some speak openly and vulnerably, while others hold back—perhaps unsure or hesitant. Some would say, I start every day reading my Bible or a devotional book. 

 In 2019, I bought New Morning Mercies by Paul Tripp, a year-long devotional, and committed to reading it daily. At first, I was consistent, and when I missed a day, I’d catch up right away. I was so moved by it that I shared it with the ladies in my Bible study, telling them how deeply it was speaking into my life. I marked my consistency by writing the year I read it at the top. I started out so good but before I finished January 2019 reading, I was reminded of how inconsistent I was. January entries whispered back to me: “You didn’t finish.” Again.

But I thank God for Romans 7:15-20, where Paul writes:

 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do...”

It’s like looking in a mirror. Consistency doesn’t always come naturally to me, but I no longer fear that. My salvation isn’t anchored to my ability to be faithful every day—it’s tied to Jesus’ faithfulness every day.

 

 My devotional book is the picture of a women saved by putting her faith in Jesus and what He did on the cross. Somedays I walk so close to Him, somedays I just make it through the day. It does not frighten me anymore that I am not consistent because my salvation does not depend on my consistency, my failing to be faithful every day does not cause Him to love me any less. 

July 25 Devotional: Living in the War Zone

Tripp’s words for July 25, 2025, spoke right into the battle that wages within me:

“You and I live between the ‘already’ and the ‘not yet’... Sin has not yet been fully eradicated... The spiritual war still goes on. And it’s fought on the turf of your heart for control of your soul...”

Yes—I live in that war every day. It shows up in doubt and faith, anxiety and trust, rebellion and submission. Some days, I walk closely with Jesus. Other days, I just make it through. But I am not condemned for that. I am held—flawed, yet fiercely loved.

July 28 Devotional: Grace Defines Me

When I read the July 28 entry back in 2020, I remember feeling seen. Today, it speaks even louder:

“Grace radically alters my identity and my hope... My identity is rooted in the achievements of another. My hope is based not on how well I am doing, but on what Jesus has done for me...”

I made it personal. This isn’t theory—it’s the very fabric of how I live now. Grace allows me to be honest, to release shame, and to rest in the identity I’ve found in Jesus.

I am not impressed with others consistency or faithfulness like I was when I first got saved. The women I have learned to look up to are those like me. They know who they are in Christ. They are honest and real, frail in some things, strong in other. Daily we are trusting Him to get us through this "war" that happens every day in one form or another. 

My freedom verse:

 Romans 8:1: "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit." 

Why should I condemn myself or anyone else for whatever we do or do not do. Nothing can separate me from Christ, nothing, not even my inconsistency. 

Reflection

Today I choose grace over guilt. I remind myself that my worth is not measured by spiritual consistency but by Jesus’ unwavering love and finished work. Even in the middle of my war—when I feel weak, weary, or distracted—He remains strong and faithful. I walk forward not condemned but covered. Not perfect but perfectly loved. Here is an important reminder, grace meets us in the middle, not just at the finish line.

  

Lately I have been asking myself, "what makes me happy?" One question always leads to another question, which was: Does my happiness depend on others or myself"?

Going a little deeper I ask myself, "what causes me to be unhappy"? I value my family so if our relationship with them was not good, I would be unhappy. Not getting my way on something that matters not in the light of eternity. Not being able to do what I want or buy what I want. Not getting the attention I think I deserve. Easy to see how my happiness is all about Betty, not the Lord.

Aging has a way of changing things we value and for sure allowing the Lord into my life has made the biggest difference in my values. For years I chased happiness for Betty, never really finding it in a person or things. I had brief moments of happiness, but they left me wanting more which made me critical of those I look to for my happiness.

What did the Lord value when He walked this earth?

Love of God, Honesty, Faithfulness, Compassion and Forgiveness, Holiness:

James writes: To consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you are face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1:2-5

The truth is (and this is why happiness is such a horrible value), that when we are not happy, something good may be happening. You have brought to that moment of crisis because of a need for growth, and the crisis may be the solution to much of what is wrong with your life. Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, authors of the book Boundaries.

The Lord has changed how I view happiness and my view of suffering. I no longer chase happiness; I chase wisdom on a day-to-day basis. When I value the fruits of the Spirit in my life more than the clothes I wear, I am content with what I have. When I value honesty in my everyday life it cast out fears. When I value faithfulness, it causes me to not procrastinate. When I value compassion and forgiveness worry leaves. When value Holiness, God gives wisdom.

Since I am still in this human body with all its human emotions, I fail sometimes to have my values right. I am always a work in progress, and He has promised to finish me. Wise Hearted

Favorite Place

If you follow me on Facebook you might have notice I changed my cover picture. It's a picture of the old city in Isreal. If I could move anywhere, it would be to Israel, near the old city. There is so much culture that can be learned by visiting there. The first time we visited we went on a tour to the sea of Galilee with people from the hotel we were staying in. We had our lunch there on the sea and I begin to talk to some of the folks with us. I ask: why did you come to Isarel? One man said, well this is the center of the world, history started here. Nobody said, because this is where Jesus was born, lived, and died for our sin, nobody. When the Bible talks about being blind to truth that was a perfect example for me. No one even mentioned that God created this place to be center of the world.

The next day we were in the old city walking around and a young man came up and ask us if he could give us a tour. We said great, and it was worth the money we paid him. Our last stop was the Garden tomb, outside the old city, down an alley, one little sign above the door. You can tell this place of history is not trying make money for it cost nothing to get into. There is a little room you walk into with a few artifacts, brochures, nothing that drew you to spend money for. From that room you step into a garden, a real garden, plants, flowers rocks, pathways made of stones. There is a platform on one side that you can look down on the city bus terminal, busy place but you cannot hear the noise. From there you wind your way down to the tomb and there are stone places and benches to sit all around it. People were coming in and out of the door as we sit down to watch for a time there might not be a crowd. 

The old city is loud, busy, crowded, tons of different smells, shops upon shops selling everything. They are catering to the tourist all over, except the Garden tomb. If you are not a child of God, joint heirs with Jesus, you probably will not end up at the garden tomb. We both were tired for we had walked all around the old city walls, inside the old city so sitting and just taking in the calmness was exactly what we needed. I remember thinking, God I could sit here forever. And just like that my next thought was this, you need to go out in the hustle and busyness of the world outside these walls for that is where the lost are. Soon we got ready to go back to the hotel but not before we saw something that cause us to rejoice.  The door to the tomb is usually open and people coming in and out but as we sit there someone closed the door and this was written on it:

                 "HE IS NOT HERE, HE IS RISEN."

Do you have a favorite place you have visited that spoke to your heart that stayed with you to this day?

Freedom

 

Freedom is on my mind today, and I'm reminded that the more freedom we enjoy, the more choices we have. America stands out as a beacon of freedom, offering unparalleled opportunities. Our nation was founded on the principles of religious freedom, allowing us to choose our own path. In America, I'm blessed with the liberty to choose my place of worship, where I dine, shop, drive, live, and educate my children. Freedom permeates every aspect of my life. Moreover, through Jesus, I've experienced the ultimate freedom - freedom from the darkness of hell. I'm grateful for the ability to express my views on freedom openly. Happy Fourth of July.

Wise Hearted

Divine Encounter

 Fifteen years ago, I began writing what would become a book about forgiveness and God’s incredible love for me. Though it rested unfinished on my computer for many years, a nudge from my brother-in-law (who recently published his book on Vietnam) rekindled my resolve to finish it. Writing has brought up difficult memories from my childhood, moments that stir up anxiety. Yet, the Lord’s prompting remains the foundation of my journey, reminding me that He walks alongside me through it all.

Yesterday, as I shopped at TJ Maxx with my daughter and her mother-in-law, we went our separate ways. I found myself browsing purses when two teenage girls approached me. Boldly and beautifully, they began to witness to me about Jesus’ love for me. They handed me a piece of paper with words that touched the depths of my soul. Tears streamed down my face as I read it, feeling as if God had sent two angels to lift my heart.

I was so impressed by their courage and faith that I prayed for them. As they walked away, they reminded me, “Jesus loves you.”

It was as though He used those two young messengers to say, “Keep going, my child. I am with you.”

What a beautiful reminder of His unconditional love and encouragement—right when I needed it most. This is why I must finish my book, to share the story of forgiveness and His unwavering grace.

Thank you, Lord, for your perfect timing. 

Words on the note

May Jesus heal you from things you don’t talk about. Amen

Peace

Day two of 2025, devotional

New Morning Mercies.

Your rest is not to be found in figuring your life out, but in trusting the One who has it all figured out for your good and His glory.

This brought peace as the truth rested in my heart to be drawn on during my day. I sit in a warm house with warm clothes on, plenty of food to eat, great husband, family who loves us and on top of this I do not have to worry one little bit where I will spend eternity. It matters not what trial comes my way; He is still faithful as I travel through it. I, personally have never sat in a prison waiting for my death but those who have left a lasting impression of their faith in God. Our peace comes down to who are we trusting on a day-to-day basis. Are you striving to fix whatever is happening in your life, if you are there will be no peace.

Lamentations 3:22-23

Great is thy faithfulness! Great is thy faithfulness!

Morning by morning new mercies I see

All I have needed thy hands have provided

Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me

I love that God uses mercies instead of mercy. He died once for our sins, one time mercy it took for God to reconcile us to Him by believing His Son died for our sins. Once we believe, the flood gates of mercy is opened and God change the word to mercies. That is a word that will settle a heart of worry, and give peace of mind so one can go into their day with hope for it rest in Him and Him alone. Wise Hearted

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Limbo

 

What Does In Limbo Mean?

The phrase “in limbo” is a slang term that means “uncertain” or “in a state of stasis.” It is often used to describe a situation or person whose future status is unclear and unlikely to be determined anytime soon. 

I don't remember being in, "limbo", often in the past.  Life just seems to roll along and I gladly went with it knowing my God was in control. In the last few years I felt this limbo state more than I like to count. Getting old is new territory for me and my husband.  

Every thought or new idea must be weighed in the thinking, can we even attempt to do what we are thinking? Will our health hold up if we do that?   

Here what started all these words you are reading. Yesterday we visited a man and wife in their 80's, close to 90's.  Since we are only a couple years away from 80 it kind of shook me.  I DO NOT WANT TO BE IN MY 80'S.  I WANT TO GO BACKWARDS INSTEAD OF FORWARD.  OR AT LEAST STAY IN LIMBO. 

For sure we will get to the 80's, no skipping them unless the Lord see different and takes us or one of us home in our 70's.

This morning, I need to drag myself out of limbo and get a message out to my bible study girls.  I think I need to be with others who understands my wanting to stay in limbo.  We are going to study the names of God and the first one on the list is:

God is Elohim, He is my creator.  I have not been very thankful to the Creator lately because of the limbo state my mind has been in.  So, I am going to get off this site and send reminders to the ladies, meet at my house, this Wed, 1pm, coffee and cake will be provided.  Would love to have you drop in if you are close.  

I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made...Psalm 139:14a

Overwhelmed

 

October is almost here, and we start our ladies Bible study the second Wed. So, for a couple of months, I have prayed on what to do.  We did not complete our book, Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund.  We got halfway through then our summer break started.  My admonishment to the ladies was to finish it on their own.  (This is an excellent book on God's heart.)

So now, the decision lays on me as the teacher on what to do next.  I have three bible study books laid out before me, and I just ordered one more.  There so many good studies out there and it has overwhelmed me looking at them.  My norm is usually a book of the Bible, with maybe a bible study outline to go with it.  I could teach a topical study which really is easier, I think.  

My heart wants to teach something that will give them the big picture.  I am leaning toward our mission material that they use in remotes tribes, Creation to Jesus.  With all that is going on in this world we need a firm foundation to stand on as things get worst almost on a daily basis.  If I did not know who God is, who man is and what sin is, life would be scary right now.   God is an orderly God; we should not be surprised at our world today and how much worst it will get before Jesus returns for us.  

Thanks for letting me vent about being overwhelmed.  Just writing this out helped me and made me a little surer on what we will study next. I love teaching about the Lord and I do it in fear and trembling knowing and acknowledging how frail I am.   I need your prayers.  Blessings 

Competition

 

Aging has brought on a different kind competition concerning learning new thing. It's easier to just refuse to learn. 

Night before last I was looking up exercises for older people to save on my phone on Youtube.  I thought I knew what I was doing but according to my daughter I didn't.  It's one thing to make a mistake and you being the only one to know about it, but to have one that gets flashed over Facebook can cause shame.  I try very hard to not post offensive things, and it's mostly quotes and words that uplift Jesus for He is the reason I stay on Facebook. I have made mistakes before because I did not understand how to post something, and I think that is what happened in this incident.

I wanted to follow this one young man on YouTube who has a video on exercises for older people. Not just follow him but save his videos on my private message board.  

Somehow, without me knowing it, a video of another young hunk of a man doing a very provocative exercise got posted to my Facebook story that reads out to everyone on Facebook. The following morn my daughter came over and ask me if I was posting exercise videos late last night and I said, yes, why? When she showed me this video, she was telling how they, the family were all laughing over it. 

It was one of those moments I knew I could choose to laugh about it too or get offended they were laughing at me.     

So, what does this have to do with self-competition?

This was the quote I learned that day that helped me, {Your competition isn't against other people. You competition is against your procrastination, your negative thoughts, your comfort zone. Compete against those.)

I realized this quote I had just read that day was playing in my head and God was trying to teach me something.

Let me say this before I bring home the truth God gave me. Getting older is not fun or for sissy as they say. The body and mind does not work the way it used to; things are slower to catch on to. Learning new things take longer or never really come to a head where you can say, oh, I got this.  Learning something new is out of my comfort house so I must compete with the part of me that does not want to learn.

I do not want to stop looking things up on the internet and Facebook. I have too many friends and people I follow and who follow me. But when I fail outwardly and others know it and are laughing at my mistake, it's hard to not get mad at myself and just give up. One never gets too old to not feel embarrassed when making a mistake that others see. 

 I chose to laugh with my family over this which helped everyone, especially me.  Laughing at oneself is good therapy. While it might sound surprising, being able to make fun of yourself can be good for your self-esteem. It might even improve your relationships and help you cope more effectively with the challenges that life throws at you.

When you learn to be competitive with yourself instead of with other people, you don't have to panic because someone else got something first. You know it's coming to you at the right place, at the right time, when you put in the work, or the heart required to get it. You can put stock in what you do have and see what you have accomplished and use that as a springboard to make yourself more successful — not just to follow the footsteps of other people who have already succeeded in something. 

Emma Lord 

All this to let you  know after I laugh with my family I let my daughter teach me on my phone how to do what I wanted to do.  She never talked down to me or made me feel stupid at my lack of knowledge.  So maybe, just maybe this old women could step out of her comfort zone and learn more new things.  

Convicting Poem

Not too long after I got saved, I came across this poem and was so moved by it I penned in the front of my bible. I begin to pray, God, less of Betty and more of You about that time. The lessons I learned have helped me through the struggles that come to us. I do not have to rely on my love for other, I only have to rely on God's love for them.

There was no love shown by my Dad growing up which turned my heart to becoming a survivor despite the pain. I learned without Christ that's the only way we can survive hardship. With Him living in me I learned His love for me was the strongest bond because our relationship did not depend on me. He paid it all for me, and I paid nothing for the relationship. NOW THE POEM,

I WONDER

You know Lord how I serve you with great emotional fervor in the limelight.

You know how eagerly I speak for you at a Ladies fellowship

You know how excited I am when I promote a fellowship group.

You know my genuine enthusiasm at a Bible Study..

But I wonder, how would I re-act

If you pointed to a basin of water

And ask me to wash the calloused feet

Of a bent and wrinkled old women,

Day after day, month after month, in a room where nobody knew or saw me.

I wonder, Lord, WOULD I ? Ruth Harms Calkins

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13,

A blessed footnote.  The night before my Dad died God cleared his mind up as if he had never drunk or had a stroke.  My husband led him to the Lord that night.  We actually thought we would be bringing him home in a few days.  The doctor called me early the next morning to tell me my Dad has passed away.  Immediately the thief on the cross came to mind.  He had put his trust in Jesus dying for him on that cross, not in any works he did our could do.  Simple trust in the truth of the gospel.  

 

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