Prison Repost

 

Prison is meant to keep those who are dangerous and have hurt others from hurting again.  Those who have stolen from stealing again, those who have killed from killing again.  I know several who have been in prison, or who have a husband, wife, adult child, mother, or father in prison.  I have visited several prisoners, written them letters, prayed for them.  I have read of those who have committed crimes that I think should never get out of prison.  I thank God my children have never done anything to land them in prison.  I have never experienced that heartbreak and hope I never do.  

Yet I know there are some emotions that can makes us feel like we are in a prison.  Daily we wake up with thoughts of those who have hurt us. Through out our day that memory can crop up again and again.  

 Unforgiveness is one of those emotions. .  I understand this prison, I have been in it before.  I have been a slave to someone who has hurt me deeply.  What they did would runs over and over in my mind.  So much so I would get frustrated easily because I could not think clearly.  It ate at my feeling till all that was left was hate and I wished I never had to see them again.    So, I can tell you for sure without Christ love for me I would still be in that prison.

Someone said to me several weeks ago,  forgiving someone would be easier if they could just forget what they did.  I had to agree, which means,  we have to replace what they did with what Christ did for us. God did not ask us to forget, He ask us to forgive.  (copied from  Bill (cycleguy post). ).

He has to become the focus of our life, the first thing we think about when we wake up and the last thing we think about before we sleep.  This is worth repeating,  HE HAS TO BECOME THE FOCUS OF OUR LIFE.  When He is our life all else becomes fainter, not forgotten but it becomes a scar not a wound.  We can touch the scar, show it to others, talk about it, praise the Lord for the scar.  As with all scars we can remember how we got it but it does not hurt anymore.  At that moment you are no longer a slave, no long in prison.  Free at last, free at last. 

“Whenever there’s an injury to a relationship, a hurt, a broken heart, or even a broken thing, and you are willing to forgive, you are saying, “I got this. I’m going to pick up the bill for this.” This is, of course, precisely what God has done for us.”
― Brant Hansen,

Ocean of love

 

When we lived in Papua New Guinea, an island north of Australia I learn to snorkel. As long as I stayed on top of the reefs, I felt pretty safe. The water was clear and warm and usually it was just the little fish that would swim close to shore.  

I would watch others swim out to the deep and I wanted to go with them, but fear held me back.  There is something safe about being able to touch ground when one wants to, so I played it safe time after time.   

Southern Illinois is my home ground, born and raised there. Nothing but corn fields, soybeans, and cows and small pond that we swam in as I was growing up.  In fact, I lost my engagement ring in a pond one night while swimming and it was never found.  Thankfully, my would-be husband thought enough of me to buy another one.  

Those ponds or lakes as some call them and even the mighty muddy Mississippi River did not come close to matching the depths of the ocean.  For me it was an all-new experience to swim in the beautiful ocean and I respected it and feared it as the same time.  

Finally, I got up the courage to swim out past the reef where the drop off was.  The fish were bigger, and I could not touch or see the bottom.  On the bottom, right past the reef was an old-World War II plane that divers go down and sit in and get their pictures taken.  I was told all you had to do was swim down a little way and you would be able to see it.  

As I waited to get up the courage to go deeper, I felt a huge fish brush up against me, I mean a huge one swim behind me.  Just as fast as the snap of the fingers he was gone and just that fast I was gone, making my way to the shore. I could not get there fast enough for I knew sharks were living in that part of the ocean and a few other big ones.  

My memory of that event has stayed with me, not because of the huge fish but that deepness I felt in that ocean past those reefs is embedded in my memory.  It's one thing to trust God to keep me safe as long as I can touch the ground but in the deepest part of the ocean, I never went back out that far.  I did not forget that war plane on the bottom either, but the feeling I would like to see it, is completely gone.  

We cannot see the depth of God's love, our human minds cannot grasp it, but my faith tells me it's true because He showed that love when His Son died on the cross for our sins.    

GUILT AND SHAME

 

The best way to distinguish between guilt & shame is this -- guilt says “Woops, I did something wrong, I did something bad.” Shame says “I am bad, there is something wrong with me.” Small differences in language, hugely different meanings. Guilt is an uncomfortable feeling when something we’ve done, or not done, doesn’t measure up to our values.

Both of these emotions can steal our joy, stop the freedom in our lives, makes us want to stay away from others, even make us physically sick. 

It's helpful to know, EVERYONE suffers with both feelings at times.  It's helpful to believe Jesus died for both of these feelings that will stop us from enjoying the fullness of His love for us.  

1 John 1:9 ESV / 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness 

 ( I love this verse and it's the one I fall back on when I am struggling with guilt over a wrong I have done.  That wrong could be gossiping, telling a lie, auguring with my husband or anyone,  etc. ) Guilt is something God will use to get our hearts right when we sin.  

1 Peter 5:8 

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 

(Shame is a tool of the devil and he will keep our sin ever before us so we live defeated, not able to enjoy life. 

It's a progression from guilt to shame, but it does not have to be.  If you are stuck, seek help from the Word, talk to someone who can help you get unstuck.  God has provided for us to live abundant life by sending His Son to die for our sin and shame.  

Happy Valentine Day

Envy

 I wish I could say I am always content. I wish I could say I never complain. I wish I could say I have never envied the life of another.   I wish I could say I am better at counting my blessings than I am at assessing what I don't have.    These are all wishes because I know envy still lurks in my heart.  It is part of the dark results of the sin that still resides there.  

Jealousy/evny There is a distinction between jealousy and envy. To envy is to want something which belongs to another person. "You shall not covet your neighbor’s house, his wife or his servant, his ox or donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor." Ever been in a state of envy it made you depressed, I have. 

When envy rules your heart, the love of God doesn't.  Envy is selfish to the core. Envy always puts me in the center of the world. It makes everything all about me.  It causes me to examine life from the sole perspective of my wants, needs and feelings.  

Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own. Harold Coffin Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery. Winston Churchill said, religion is meant to teach us true spiritual human character. It is meant for self-transformation.

Hindsight will turn into insight if one is thankful.  Thankfulness does not come naturally.  Everyone struggles at times with envy or is jealous because of the old nature rising up.  Being thankful on purpose can kill those envy thoughts. 

It Is Not A Race

 

Ten days into the New Year I am thinking, maybe I am more like a Turtle than a Rabbit. Thoughts of reading through the bible this next year has brought no results, yet! I mean I could catch up or just jump in on that day, the way I do my daily devotional read when I miss a day or two or a week or two. I mark my devotional book with the day I read that section with the date. Example, New Morning Mercies is my daily devotional book and the days I read it I write the year in the corner. The last time I read page January 10 was 2020 so I missed reading it in 2021.  

Early in my walk with God I somehow thought life was a race and we either grow like a turtle or a rabbit.  My personality is like a rabbit and I grew fast those first few years.  The church we were in was a working church, you work out your faith by doing, teaching, working in nursery, work a bus route bringing people, kids mostly to church to Sunday school and children church,  giving, witnessing, etc.  My husband and I were involved all the time in the doings of the church.  But, I am grateful that doing was part of my foundation of how much God loved me.  Not only did He say He would die for my sins, He actually did it.   

As I have aged, those doing years have decreased and changed through the years.  I grow more like a turtle now.  I have time to dig deep into the Word and and research the meanings I know I missed when I was a young child of God.  It has not been easy to go from a rabbit to a turtle but it's the season of my life.  

I am not racing now, I am pacing myself, slowing things down and realizing the guilt that comes from that is not from the Lord.  Oh, I know, some are still going at rabbit pace and if I was into comparing and not being content I would keep looking back to what we use to do.  The use to do days are over,  and I am enjoying the new mercies that my devotional books is all about. Below is something I read recently that has helped me to deal with it when I fail to others expectations of me.  

 Guilt, The Crippling Emotion

Guilt. Rarely has one small word been so widely misunderstood. Guilt is frequently viewed as a virtue, as a high sense of responsibility and morality. The truth, however, is that guilt is the greatest destroyer of emotional energy. It leaves you feeling immobilized in the present by something that has already occurred.

Now don’t misunderstand me: Human beings need to have a conscience. According to Webster’s Third Dictionary a conscience is “the sense of right or wrong within the individual.” Without a conscience we would have no compunction about hurting one another, and the world would be less safe. When your conscience tells you that you have done something wrong, it is important to face it, make amends and learn from your mistake. Staying consumed with guilt, however, will keep you from moving forward in a positive and productive way.

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I still have not started my bible reading for this year.   But, I refuse to live in guilt since I know God does not love me because of how much I read my bible or what bible I read, NOTHING can separate me from the love of God.  Now that is pure grace living.    

How was your start to the new year.  

Nailed to a tree...

Nothing like a wrapped present to build excitement in the heart of a child.   Ace and I get excited too for we know what the presents are and we know they will love them.    They did not shop for their gifts or pay for it,  we did, it's theirs, free and clear.  We don't expect them to pay us back, or buy us something in return.  

You know I am still excited over the gift I opened on Oct. 20th,  1980. In fact I want to give this gift to all I meet.  Instead of being under a tree this gift was nailed to a old rugged cross,  it's package of flesh torn and bleeding.  The bow made into a crown of thorns dug into the wrapping.  There was nothing pretty about the package and the way it was presented.  Yet it contain everything to give me eternal life. 

 I believe God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit gets excited when ever this gift is presented to someone.  They wait, hoping it will be accepted.  

There is no plainer truth taught in the Word of God than salvation being a “free gift” (Romans 5:15,18; 6:23). If I were to offer you a Christmas present, but with the stipulation that you must be willing to take a bath, it would not be a gift. Why? Because I have clearly implied that I expect you to take a bath to get the present. A gift is defined as something given voluntarily without any payment in return. 

The thief had nails through both hands, so that he could not work; and a nail through each foot, so that he could not run errands for the Lord; he could not lift a hand or a foot toward his salvation, and yet Christ offered him the gift of God; and he took it. Christ threw him a passport, and took him into Paradise. D.L. Moody (don't you just love this quote?)

 Quote from Mary DeMuth book, Everything. 

We cannot fully satisfy a holy God. Our redemption is an outrageous, initiating act accomplished by God alone. He pursued humanity to such an extent that His feet landed on earth, and He chased after us until He rescued us at the cross. We did not climb onto those wooden beams. We could not receive the nails that pierced those holy hands. We who are not kingly wore no crown. We could not drink the cup of God wrath. "For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. Rom. 5:6. God did what we could not . He sent His beautifully sinless Son to take our place, to satisfy for all time God's wrath upon sin. "For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. II Cor. 5:21

God transforms, He creates, He  thinks otherworldly thoughts,  He dares to redeem an obstinate world. If we camp in that place, remembering the gift we could never, ever pay back, we will live astonished lives, and our growth will be the best kind---the kind that emerges from gratitude, from thinking rightly about God.

What a gift!

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   I pray you have already opened this gift and with a thankful heart will celebrate Him this Christmas. 

Assignment

“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”~~C.S. Lewi(my facebook post today)

Several commented on my post from C.S. Lewis.  The one that got my attention was from a sweet friend of mine.   She began to suffer with crippling  rheumatoid arthritis a little over two years ago after her oldest son died from a heart condition.   She went from a very active, committed Christian working mother of three, to being held captive often by her health issues on top of her grief.   Below is her comment to my post.  

( Well, then, what am I missing? 

 (He has been shouting for a long time, and I guess I don’t understand the assignment. ) 

 CommenWell, then, what am I missingeM

Below is my reply to her heart felt question:

When things are great one hardly ever thinks of death, but when pain comes it’s hard not to think of death. Just take the recent Covid pandemic, and how it has forced us to think of death more often. 

 We can live with our head buried in clouds until a raging storm comes then we seek shelter. Every pain we suffer is the means to draw deeper into Him, to learn of Him, the one who suffered the most pain ever for the whole world. 

Pain will mature our faith in Him or turn our focus inward.  Maturity brings courage to reach outside our self to others. Our trials and pain may be with us though out our life here on earth, but we believers know something a non-believer does not know.  We leave all our earthly suffering and pain when we leave this earthly abode.  

So, what is our assignment till then? That was Julie's question, wasn't it?  Nothing makes us question our purpose more than pain.   

Jesus used very few words when He gave it out to His followers.  Mark 16: 15 Go tell…by mouth, by social media, by whatever means is available to us. When we allow our pain to be a means to share Jesus all heaven shouts and anyone around us is helped. Does our pain decrease when we allow God to use it?  Sometimes but not always. 

 The pain is not the focus, only a tool in the hands of a loving God. 

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Like everyone else I have had my share of pain, both physcial and emotionally.   There have been times I allowed it to make me bitter and it has left a few scars on me.  Since becoming a believer at age 35 and studying the Bible I have to come to realize God wants to use my pain.  He never promised me a life free of pain.  He doesn't want me to waste it, or drive me to into a pity party. I know people who are hard to be around due to their pain and grief and the pity party they live in.    

Self-pity is a way to escape the pain of sadness by trying to make others feel sadness for us. Chip Dodd.

How does this quote speak to your heart.? Have you been stuck in self -pity before and how did you get out of it?

Rhythm of life.

The creation story in Genesis 1 has rhythm. The passage of day into night is a constant rhythm. The passing of seasons, the changing of tides. We are surrounded by rhythms in nature. Rhythms that sustain the life of our entire planet. affect our metabolism, our cognitive abilities. We create new life rhythmically. Our body keeps its beat through the constancy of our pumping hearts. 

What happens when those rhythms are interrupted? When we interrupt the circadian rhythms that sustain us by not sleeping enough of being over caffeinated? When the rhythms of the seasons are disrupted by climate change? When the rhythms of daily life are obliterated by violence and war? 

I can still remember the first time I read through the book of Ecclesiastes and how encouraged I was. It took away some of my fears, changed my expectations, changed my attitude toward change.

Ecclesiastes invites us to find rhythm in all things, so that we can be at peace with how life is constantly changing. We are also invited to honor those rhythms rather than dominating them when they can be inconvenient for us. With this passage we can embrace that life is, indeed, a part of death; that peace always should follow war; that there are times when we experience sorrow, but that sorrow is followed by joy and laughter.

Anxiety is bound to happen when the rhythm of our lives is changed. I have sure been experiencing my share of this lately. I don't question it anymore because I do believe it's even a part of the rhythm. Out of anxiety we can see our need for the Lord and learn trusting Him for all life brings. Thankful God put Ecclesiastes in the bible for us to draw from during hard times. Age comes to all of us, and with age comes ailments that change the rhythms of our life. I am learning a new song lately, finding the joy of the Lord wrapped up sometimes even in the pains of life.

How the rhythm of your life going?

Kneeling Love

If you ask a man if he should kneel when proposing, they will probably say yes – but why? It’s likely for one of two reasons: either because tradition dictates that males propose with marriage on bended knee or because they want to express humility before their future wife. Some people feel as though a proposal by kneeling signifies more than just submission; rather, it shows respect, and an intent to put the bride before himself.  

Fifty seven years ago my husband ask me to marry him and he did not get down on one knee.  Honestly, I did not even think to ask him too.  In fact until recently I had not given it a thought. 

On 20th of Oct., our 57th anniversary,  I had surgery to repair my bladder. All went well.   Four  hours afterward the doctor declared it safe for me to go home and start recovery. I would see him in two days to get the catheter out.  Ok, I thought, I can do this. 

Had a good night, all was well until early afternoon that next day when I started to have intense pain.  From my experience of having several kidney stones I thought I was trying to pass one.  I developed a low grade fever and throwing up.  Back to the hospital where the surgery was done.  After a few test, x-rays they said I had a blockage but could not tell what it was from.  They tried to put a stint from my kidney to my bladder but it would not go.  Since they could do no more due to lack of personnel they sent me to Fargo, North Dakota, three hour ambulance ride.  

There they did same test, got same conclusions.  To keep me from losing the 30 percent of my kidney I have they put a tube into it to drain into a bag outside my body.  

Every since I started having kidney issue, I have dreaded this might happen to me someday.  The kidney is not repairable when it dies.   A transplant can be done if there is a donor and if the body will accept it.   What is left then is dialysis 3-5 times a week.  Back in December 2020 my kidneys shut down because of Covid. It was at that time I was told one of my kidneys was not working and only 30 person of the other one was.  So, you can see how the dread would build, the quest to keep that 30 percent going.  

Ok, enough about the medical background for this post.  

My husband has taken on the total responsibility of doing all it takes to keep the tube cleaned, put new bandages on the site of where the tube goes into my kidney, flushing the tube every other day.    To take a shower requires lots of work making sure the site keeps dry.  I was so weak when I first came home I could not even dress myself, he did that.  There is more to this but again enough is enough.     

 At one point in order to help me he had to get down on his knees.  I teased him that he did not even get on his knees to ask me to marry him.    I think I started crying somewhere after that as it hit me how much my husband cares for me.  He is so careful to make sure he gets it right and keeps me as healthy as he can.  

This post is not about how sick I am,  It's about how very hard times require a love that goes way beyond that knee he could taken when asking for marriage.  Way beyond even the vows we say, way beyond the romance, and intimacy that comes with marriage.  

This love I have been experiencing comes from a man who knows God loves him.  And whatever trials comes it has to go through that supernatural love.  It's the love Jesus had for us as He hung on the cross. That kind of love will give courage when needed to do the hard stuff. 

Psalm 95:6  Come, let us worship and bow down, let us kneel before the Lord our making. 

On the 18th I head back to hospital to see if the blockage is all gone and if I still need a tube or a stint or surgery.  Please pray.  

What's On Your Mind?

 

What's on my mind facebook ask.

Everyday I must meditate on the absolute perfection and completeness of the work of the Lord Jesus Christ. There is nothing we could do ever think, desire, say, or do that could in any way add to the forgiveness and acceptance that you received from God based on Christ's work. You are perfect in the eyes of God because the perfect righteousness of Jesus has been attributed to your spiritual account. Paul Tripp

This truth motivates me to say I'm sorry when I am wrong, change my attitude when I am being selfish. This truth helps me to trust Him to work in me to become more like Him. If I start focusing on my sins, past and present instead of on the forgiveness bought on Calvary for all sins I will become self focused which leads to a comparison trap which leads to either pride or depression. There lies the battle front...God help me to be courageous and drop my self reliance and rest in the finished work of your Son.